For some children, school can be challenging on many different levels. This blog aims to provide emotional support and practical strategies for parents to navigate the ups and downs of their children's school lives.
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Read More‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’ -Audre Lorde
There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.
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Read MoreIt has occurred to me recently that some families are feeling some delayed anxiety over what formal schooling the children have missed for yet another year. Understandably, this can play on your mind. Perhaps you should be compensating for missed contact hours at school? Below are some thoughts to set your mind at ease.
It has been a level playing field for all schools. Therefore, teachers in the new year will adjust in their teaching to accommodate the previously dishevelled year. Teachers will plan with this in mind in the new year and allow time for children to catch up. Their job is to work from where the child is at in their learning.
The best way to support your child during the holidays is to keep up with reading. For younger children you will be more involved and for the independent readers just plan time in the family when reading is part of the daily routine.
Keep conversations alive in the family and invite your child to talk as much as possible. This helps develop oral language and also feeds into auditory learning where listening is important. Therefore, ask your child questions and allow them time to respond. We need to keep all aspects of learning and developing literacy as high as possible.
Play games together. Jigsaw puzzles are wonderful for developing the brain. Reduce activities that are solo based. The more group activities involving coordination, conversation, negotiation and team efforts are excellent for further developing intuitive thought.
Schools teach through the Inquiry approach which is all about questioning. When you see something worth discussing have robust discussions and invite opinions and questions by your child. This means giving less answers and being less opinionated or correct as the adult. Nothing stops a child more from talking than an opiniated adult or one that has all the answers.
Affirm your child when they show initiatives in different directions. Creativity is so important to nurture in our children. This is all about a child developing a curious and uninhibited attitude to life. Remember, whatever they try is a success and not a failure. They will be more inclined to keep showing initiative when encouraged.
During the holidays keep the variety of activities going throughout the break. This invites a child to use their brain in different ways. Of course, we all know how long hours on the computer is sole destroying for enlivening the brain. It deadens the spirit an destroys healthy conversation.
Even though formal school time was down in 2021, a child’s summer break is incredibly important for revival, sunshine, fresh air and childhood joy. If we deprive them of this, they will not have the recovery needed to begin another school year well. They will start 2022 with some residual unhappy feelings of the previous, interrupted school year. A refreshing holiday revives their spirit and enthusiasm to begin again with hope. I refer here to mental health which will have a direct impact on next year’s success if not handled well. Preparation is everything.
If you have a child that likes to write, give them a journal for Christmas and invite them to record their holiday experiences in it. Less reluctant writers could write out shopping lists, etc.
Finally, worry less about what this year had to offer for your child as they will quickly reflect on your attitude and this can put doubt in their mind about moving forward positively and successfully. You cannot change what has happened this year but you can influence a developing perception of next year. Children learn best when free of anxiety and self doubt.
‘We are what we believe we are.’
-C S Lewis
Trying to build in politically correct curriculum in a primary setting is thwart with difficulty. For a start, children are slowly developing reason and this takes time and patience. If you give them information that has no relevance to their world, it is not likely to be retained in the longer term nor comprehended effectively.
Primary years are foundational years, where the curriculum should be mainly around developing a child’s literacy and numeracy skills. It touches on areas such as science and technology, raising awareness of the arts, physical education and of course social skills and some history. That is a very brief explanation. A child should leave the primary school with confidence in their ability to learn independently and to have an inquiring mind into learning. It is not a time to influence children in politically orientated agendas, which will always change over time. A confident learner, who is open to learning, is what we want for our children. When they are older and can reason and rationalise, then discussing political matters has its purpose.
In my experience of over 29 years as Principal, I have worked through at least four major changes in curriculum and I have developed some clear beliefs about this topic. The mere fact that changes occur sends shudders through teachers who have to relearn and professionally skill themselves with new material to teach, assess, plan etc. They will also bemoan the fact that much time is taken in class for realigning curriculum which means less teaching time. Teachers are by nature learners and will always try new material but of course within reason.
Teachers in a primary setting know all too well that they are developing children socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically. It is a mixture of many things, which ultimately bring a child to a sense of feeling secure and happy in their learning style.
Curriculum should:
Enable children to be confidently literate and numerate. This is a significant focus in our primary schools. Without these basic skills, understanding the world is very difficult. Tackling secondary school can be so difficult, given that they have expectations that are challenging for those less skilled in literacy and numeracy.
Invite children to question. The more they question and engage in talking about their work, the greater capacity they have to learn.
Be relevant for the times, having a focus on science and technology.
Ensure success and feelings of well being are built into all programs.
Give children a sense that they are capable learners.
The fundamental point here is that whatever new curriculum is designed, it needs to be robust and demand the best from our children. It should not be sullied or compromised by the inclusion of current political agendas. Having seen various curriculum initiatives over the years, the quality of teaching will only bring curriculum to life. The content is only a guideline, a framework. All is in the hands of the teacher. Let’s hear it for the skill of teachers!
‘Good teachers teach. Great teachers transform.’
- Queen Rania of Jordan
1. Family chats about coming out of the lockdown
Gather as a family and talk about what it will be like going back to school after a long time. Let your child talk about their fears and anxious thoughts, which will generally be all about re-establishing friends, feeling safe and getting back their feeling of confidence in learning. Don’t be surprised or challenged by what they have to say, as it is their time to talk freely about their worries.
2. Reassure your child that school is a safe place
Reassure them that they will be in safe hands and that their health will be a big consideration with the school. Some children may be anxious about leaving the safety of home given the pandemic discussions that are around. It may have been a lockdown, but for a child, the home created a safe haven. Give your child accurate information about the pandemic, but make it age appropriate. This is important, as unsettling gossip at school can destabilise a child.
3. Plan you way out of the lockdown
Design a plan which may involve you taking them to school, talking to the teacher etc. whatever makes them feel that you are still present in their lives away from home. This will make the transition a more secure one and will build trust in the child in resuming school.
4. Change can bring feelings of grief
Never underestimate that your child will experience some grief in letting you go. The concentrated time they have spent with you has been for them a time of getting to know their parents more deeply and feeling comforted by your reassuring presence. Therefore, when school resumes, consider still spending dedicated quality time with them as going cold turkey will be very unsettling, especially for younger children.
5. Make home a consistent and safe place
Re-establishing themselves in a school setting will take time as routines and school patterns are slowly re-established or created. Keep home life consistent so that the child feels secure in the boundaries and familiar environment they know and enjoy. Their home has been a comfort zone for quite some time.
6. Check in with your child regularly.
Check in with them regularly about how they are coping back at school. It will be natural that they will have ups and downs, not the least of which will be friendships. They may wish to tell you all is well as not to upset you. However, be open to conversation and not too probing in questions.
‘Sometimes starting school after a long break can be difficult. I wonder how you are going with it?”
7. Never underestimate the effect of change
Going back to school is an immense change. Don’t underestimate its impact on the child. Therefore, adapt or moderate the family lifestyle to accommodate how your child is coping. This may mean some compromises or simply ensuring that quality time with family is maintained.
8. Affirm your child’s efforts in being a change agent
Affirm your child’s efforts in returning to school. This is quite a challenge for them on many levels. Your appreciation gives them some reassurance that they are doing their best under difficult circumstances and it is valued.
‘I am so proud that after a long time you can settle back into school. That is a big step after such a long break.’
9. Less talk about the things that bring us down
Keep negative chatter about the state of the pandemic down and talk about the positive aspects as we move forward. This is important to ensure that the children are not building negative thoughts, now that they are in the eyes and ears of a school community. Negative gossip can build anxiety.
10. Don’t underestimate the fatigue from such a change experience.
You may find your child may feel some fatigue, mental and physical in going back to school. This can be from all the new pressures and expectations placed on them which were not the case in the home environment. Plenty of rest at home and a gentle reintroduction into routines, sport etc. outside the home is the best way forward.
It is all about frequent checking in with their progress into the new framework of our post lockdown world.
Einstein was a famous one for telling everyone that without curiosity learning does not grow. He would argue that without his insatiable attitude for being curious he would not have made his discoveries about the universe.
By nature, children are curious. We see this in the young child who will explore everything in front of them. As the child grows, also grows a level of caution, it’s natural. As parents, we monitor what is safe and not so safe when it comes to being curious. This blog is to remind parents that curiosity can come in so many ways. Our role is to encourage it and to invite our children to explore the world through different lenses, understanding that within each lens, different perceptions develop.
To some degree developing curiosity is linked to developing independence and as the parents give the child more freedom, they begin to explore the world in their own way without boundaries. They experiment with more freedom and this will come with mistakes and success. In order to build curiosity in our children the following thoughts may help:
A child can be curious in many ways that can be as simple as learning to cook, playing in the sandpit, studying recipes etc. through to learning about planets. The range is big, or small and is everywhere.
The more we don’t give immediate answers but invite more questions, the child’s curiosity grows.
“Look at that beetle. I wonder why it goes in and out of the rock?”
More questions beget more questions and so the probing goes deeper, the perceptions alter and alternative thinking develops strengthening and feeding our creative disposition. Here critical thinking begins.
When the child sees that you enjoy being curious, they learn that the experience will be enjoyable for them and they can ask questions freely. Just giving answers does not excite the imagination and shuts down all creativity.
When you listen to the news or read something of interest, use these occasions to discuss the curious nature of the article or news item. Children will soon learn that you invite conversations with them to learn more and enjoy the discussion together. This, to you, is seen as an effective way to work through issues, problems or simply to gain knowledge.
This is a time when asking “why” a perfect way to invite curiosity. Children prefer this rather than straight answers. We are not always the bearer of all information, but we can be the bearer of many questions to explore different ways of looking at things.
If your child knows that you will invite them into being curious, rather than just providing an answer, they will be more inclined to approach you with interesting thoughts and ideas. A child is naturally attracted to questioning, rather than just knowing the answer.
Schools are actively teaching a method that invites gaining knowledge through asking questions. Your child, if at school age, will be familiar with this process, which to them is a natural form of learning. Talk to your child’s teacher to learn more about the Inquiry approach to learning.
When you ask questions, rather than give an immediate response, you are telling your child that there could be many ways of looking at something. This is encouraging the child to see everything from various lenses. It presupposes that having a go and reflecting on different answers is not about making mistakes, but rather seeking out the truth and thinking with an open mind and being a critical thinker.
“What road do I take?”
“Well, where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then it doesn’t matter if you don’t know where you are going. Any road will get you there.”
Are you the person that always asks for help? Some children naturally ask, even though they may not have thought through what they are asking. This, for some, can simply be a habit. Other children can be slower in asking for help and others may not ask for help due to shyness, embarrassment, fear of looking like a failure, etc. Not getting into the habit of asking questions, can be dangerously habit forming and we want our children to hear their voice in the classroom when questions are asked.
Whatever the category your child falls into, all children need to ask for help in the classroom and learn that asking for help is natural and to be expected in developing an inquiring mind. Once a child becomes an adolescent, they need to have conquered their fears to ask for help, otherwise, it can become an academic and social minefield.
Teachers carefully monitor those children who remain silent and work very calmly and skilfully to bring their voice into the harmony of all the classroom when questions are asked. A teacher will respect the quiet child, but work to get their questions and voice out in the open.
Asking questions suggests developing intellectual curiosity and perseverance to learn more. By asking questions our children are wanting to explore concepts for themselves and make sense of what they don’t understand.
At home, you can support your child to ask questions in the following ways.
Asking questions suggests developing intellectual curiosity and perseverance to learn more
Ask a lot of questions yourself. Demonstrate to your child that asking questions gives you the knowledge you need to feel satisfied.
When together as a family, have a game of asking questions. This can be a great game in the car and the importance here is to invite questions about some information. The game of ‘I spy’ is a popular one.
Ask your child about how they gain information in the class. Do they ask questions? Are they comfortable asking questions? Do they feel asking questions helps them learn? If this is a problem,
Talk to your child’s teachers about how best to assist your child.
Once a week around the table ask the children to simply ask questions. This can be around a topic, a picture etc. the importance is simply to practice asking questions.
We are aiming for our children to recognise that asking questions is a normal part of solving problems. It should be to a child a natural process this is used in building knowledge.
“The important thing is to not stop questioning.”