The value of teaching about choice

Our children should learn that making choices is a very powerful tool in making sound informed decisions in life. Of course, we can make choices that do not give the outcome we expect and can of course lead to failure. However, making such a choice is also a valuable learnt experience.

Making choices begins to define our character. It aligns us in certain directions and it can be a turning point on many directions. Our children make choices all the time. The key point here is to teach them that making choices is a powerful statement to others of who they are and what they value. We also learn to own our choices and to understand that what we choose should be seen proactively.

Here are some thoughts on helping children understand that choices influence and direct their world:

• Talk about some choices you may have made over the years. Some were very successful and perhaps others required a rethink and reset.

• Teach your child that making a choice is a privilege. We can make decisions but they will be owned and lived through by yourself.

• When discussing optional matters that can be chosen remind them that the choice they make should be one from which they grow and learn. It should be a proactive and mature choice that leads to a healthy outcome. They must own the outcome and not regret it but move forward no matter what. There is no blame when you choose to make a choice.

Classrooms have many occasions when children make choices. This is especially the case when working on projects. Teachers encourage them to think through their choice such that they will gain the knowledge and learning they want from the exercise. Here teachers are encouraging them to think through the choices they make.

Parents should plan to set up a working relationship with their children which does give them many occasions to make choices. The more you can encourage this, the quicker they develop independent thinking and begin to be selective in their planning. As a parent delaying their ability to make choices delays their interest in self-management. We want our children to have the confidence to make choices fully aware of their actions and aware that they own the outcome.

Slow and steady support in this area will give our children the confidence to be independent thinkers, enlightened and well-rounded individuals.

‘The fact is that kids learn to make good decisions, by making decisions, not by following directions.’

                      -Alfie Kohn

“The fact is that kids learn to make good decisions, by making decisions, not by following directions.”

— Alfie Kohn