Teachers are well aware that when they talk to a child especially after an issue, the child only absorbs some aspects of what they are saying particularly if anxiety kicks in.

In my experience you need to tap into them to see if they understood what you say. I always remember a child saying to me after a lengthy conversation about what went wrong "Yeh I don't know what you said, so I guess I am in trouble?'

Try to keep explanations of what went wrong in simple language. They may hear the beginning of the sentence, feel anxious and not hear the rest. As adults we do this too. Our body goes into protection mode when we are being attacked verbally.

Keep sentences simple and clear

"I need to talk to you about......"

"Do you remember when.........?"

Always build in some positives. "Thanks for understanding. Now together we can work on the problem." This tells them that although something is wrong, it is restorative and relationships stay in tact.

Children need reassurance even when discussing the hard matters. Using a quieter less stressed voice is also helpful as children read our vibes very quickly.