No surprises when I tell you that much of their behaviour is learnt from us! There you go, yet another pressure on parents I hear you say!

A child is greatly influenced by their parents not just in how we act towards them but they notice how we relate to others, how we solve problems, deal with stress and so the list goes on.

It was not an uncommon thing to hear teachers comment on how they saw so much of the parent in the child. Sometimes they recognised the child from mere gestures, body language, voice tone, etc. After all the apple does not fall far from the tree.

There are so many ways in which a child can pick up messages and subtle cues from our modelling. However, all is not lost. I am sure most of the time as parents, we consciously work at presenting a positive face and model effectively. We work hard to be the best parent we can. But we are human and sometimes let our guard down.

Consider the following thoughts that can help us reflect a little deeper on this thought.

Children love and want to be images of their parents from an early age and so they observe carefully the cues and directions given to them from their parents.
A child, especially a younger child feels safer mimicking their parents. Watch them play and you may be surprised to see and hear yourself in your child’s actions.
How we behave around others is also learnt very quickly as a model of how to act in certain situations. It is worth checking yourself occasionally when your child is around. They quickly pick up aspects of compassion, empathy, hostility, prejudice etc. Little ears are all around and learning fast.
Reflect on the language you use when children are around. You would be surprised how your words are repeated in places such as the classroom and playground. Sometimes just for effect and to gauge everyone’s reaction. Language can have such an impact on a child’s growth and can impact on their social successes.
It is worth reflecting on some of your child’s behaviour that you find unsuitable. Are their patterns that they are mimicking when they see you unsettled and reacting. It is quite a reflective tool for parents but it can reveal how you are modelling to your child.
In working with children, it was quite a delight when in talking to them I could feel that how they were processing issues was just like how their parents think. This reminds us that how we talk though matters and solve problems, critically reflect etc. is all being learnt slowly but surely. Never underestimate your influence when simply talking with your child. Having an inquiring mind is a wonderful example to give our children Much is learnt directly and indirectly.
Parenting may seem at time complex. However, if you approach it with care, sensitivity and a sense of humour not taking too much seriously especially yourself, you will not only survive but provide a positive climate for your child in which to grow.

‘Children close their eyes to advice but open their eyes to example.’
-MyQuoteHome.com