You are probably creating some new ones during this lockdown. Family rituals are all about setting up special times or events that celebrate some aspect of your family life. They are a beneficial tool in building and strengthening families. They are an important foundational aspect of building family life. Activities become a ritual when the family practises regular times or occasions when they come together for that express purpose. After a while, it then becomes a tradition.

There are many forms of rituals and of course families develop their own traditions and celebrations that become embedded into your family life. If you are a family that practises a religion then you will be very familiar with ritual. For those families who develop their own style of ritual, it becomes an important aspect of your unique family life. It is a sacred statement present in your family.

Schools are very keen on the rituals that make them unique. A school will build into their calendar a series of events across the year which are unique to them. This gives them individuality and brings everyone together to celebrate what makes them special. A school motto will have in it words that symbolise what the school stands for. A school will take up opportunities to come together and celebrate who they are through their rituals which become traditions. School assemblies are always a time to sing the school song and national anthem, present awards etc. The regularity of such assemblies becomes a pattern that is important in school ritual.

Rituals can be as simple as ensuring that everyone eats together once a week at the family table. It can be about family patterns that everyone participates in such as having a regular games night or enjoying together a takeaway night. Celebrations such as Christmas are an excellent time for family ritual to be present and alive in families.

Children need and crave rituals in their life as they ground them to what is familiar and safe. Of course, no surprises that many teenagers begin to question family rituals, but what goes around comes around. As they mature, they begin to identify with what they held dear in their growing up days and they learn to build ritual into their own life.

Think about what makes your family unique and start talking about how regular time spent together doing something special is family ritual.

Think about:

The activities that you do together that are a regular item at home and valued by everyone.
Do you have some family habits that are worth developing? For example, is there a family night to watch movies?
Are you a family that exercises together regularly? This can become quite a serious and important part of the family dynamic.
Talk to the family about aspects of your life that are important to you. The more the child realises that there are aspects of their family that are precious and unique, they begin to see family as a safe and secure place.

In working with children, I always noticed that the more vulnerable children especially valued routine and familiar settings. They felt secure about the regularity of what happened in their classroom. They were conscious of the timetable, lunch hours, playtime etc. They could easily identify with what made them happy through routine and regular planning.

We all need ritual in our life and a family setting provides the climate to nurture rituals and celebrations that are uniquely owned by the members of that family.

Reflect on your family and the rituals that are present. Perhaps there are a few that with some teasing out can become very special to you as a family.

‘Ritual is important to us as human beings. It ties us to our traditions and our histories.’
Miller Williams