I have often said that one could write a PHD on the following. In my office my feelings chart is used quite often. The one feeling children always talk about is the feeling of “being proud”.

When this is examined, it is about the child feeling that their actions are not giving the parents a feeling that they are proud of them.

This may seem strange as we think that we reinforce them often. This is sometimes why children are reluctant to “have a go”. Will they fail and what will people think then?

A good response to this is to simply to remind them often of the things that make you proud.

“I am so proud of your efforts at school”.

“I am proud that you had a go at something hard.”

Even though we acknowledge their efforts they are always checking in with us as to whether they are valued. Using the word proud has high value in their minds.