Let's break through that quick anger!

Some children can be calm one moment and then without any understanding of what has actually happened, their mood can go from zero to ten. It can quite explosive and frustrating to understand as a parent.

Parents find this difficult to manage given that the behavior comes from an unknown source.

The first thing to understand is that when a child is highly emotive, their reasoning and ability to listen and respond to logic won't be present. Therefore, rationalizing won't work at that point. It is best to wait for a short time and when the child is calmer tell them.

“I get very unhappy when you get angry quickly”.

How do you break through your child's anger?

If the child is then able to tell you what the anger was about, follow with;

“When you have those feelings again, tell me and together we can work it out”. Ask them to give you a number from one to ten as to how they are feeling. This makes it easy for them to explain their frustration level.

It is always good to follow up at night before bed and talk about those angry feelings.

Sometimes instant anger is used as the child's language is not yet developed enough to respond to the situation with effect.

Teach the child that expressing feelings through language is a great way to let you know how they feel.

For example teach them that they can say:

I am angry because

I am sad because

I feel unhappy when

I am frightened when

Expressing emotions out loud actually starts the process of feeling better.

Sometimes having a feelings chart at home can help with younger children. I use it all the time to start conversations about feelings. Children actually look for the chart to start the conversation.

Another way to help is to write down some feeling words and put them around the house. The child could decorate the words and discuss them with you before they are placed on the fridge etc.

Invite them to use these words when feeling unsettled.

Getting the feelings out in the open starts the healing process.