How often do we ask questions and realise the answer was all about bad timing? How about when we plan activities and find its all too much due to poor timing, being tired, too busy, unwell etc.

Choosing the right time to get the best response, change of behaviour, higher level of understanding etc, depends on whether the recipient is in the best mental and physical space to listen and respond.

This article is all about sharpening our awareness of timing in all that we do especially with regard to vulnerable children.

Teachers are very skilled at managing timing issues, as they know that to get the best response from the children, they need to choose a time that is best placed for the activity. They will often check timetables, ensure all children will be available, inform parents well in advance and check to see that weather or other school conditions do not compromise their planned event. The lesson we take from this is that if you want the best response from your child, think carefully about the obstacles that could impinge success.

***Here are some suggestions to contemplate finding the best time to talk to your child about important matters.***

For example:

Is your child well?
Are they preoccupied?
Are they anxious about matters that preoccupy them.
Are they distracted by friends, television etc.
Are you talking to them about an important matter when they just want to play outside straight away
Sometimes just after school, before school, getting into cars etc are excitable times and not suitable for discussions about important matters.
Consider how often you have been talking to them about important matters. Are they on overload?

When working with children, if I had to discuss some issue with a child, I would check to ensure that I was not taking them away from an important activity to them, such as sport, art etc. This seems to them like a punishment and they are distracted from the discussion. Timing is everything.

Here are some suggestions to contemplate finding the best time.

Bedtime, when all is quiet is often a popular time to discuss important matters.
Seek out times when the child is alone and happy to engage in conversation.
Find times when you are doing activities together such as cooking, playing with Lego etc.
Choose times when you are receptive to listening what they have to say. You need to create your personal time when you bring up matters that you wish to discuss. Timing for you is also important.
Always follow through if the timing does not work out.

“It seems we need to finish this conversations at another time. Let's do it when we have me more time together.”

Take stock of your own wellness when approaching important conversations or situations. Timing includes the best time for you to discuss matters as well the child.
Reflect on what you need to say. If it is quite emotive, the timing for discussion must be in a safe place, where you feel ready to discuss the matter and you feel the child will be receptive and not distracted.
Always check who is around as timing can be influenced by the presence of others such as siblings, other parent, friends, people about to arrive, phone ringing, etc.

Parents can become quite frustrated when poor timing does not resolve a matter. This can lead to built up resentment and then an outburst of frustration which has poor outcomes for everybody. Parents can begin to think that avoidance is happening. Perhaps it is, but it is often driven by the incorrect use of timing.

Keep in mind that intuitive people carefully recognise the signs around them and choose wisely when getting the best from other people. The more astute you are in timing, the greater likelihood of getting the best response.