This article is all about reminding us of how children grow in such an interconnected way over time.

We often see growth spurts and we find it fascinating and delightful to see the rapid changes physically, intellectually, socially and emotionally over the years. If we have more than one child, we are fascinated by how different they are in stature and mental attitudes to life. Hence, we often reflect on their different developing personalities. This is all part of the great variation that life offers us as we grow.

Here, I invite you to reflect on several factors as this interconnected life of your child, changes. Take care to:

We simply need to walk with our children respecting their right to grow and being empathetic to their journey both uphill and downhill.

Note the growth and affirm where possible. Talk about growth as natural and a process of personal discovery.
Do not draw total attention to changes as sensitive children can be quite uncomfortable about this happening.
Always be keen to celebrate the changes that you see in your child in a respectful and suitable way.

“Wow, last term you couldn’t reach that bench now you are able to see over it.”

Take care not to compare the growth or changes with other siblings or make comparisons to yourself growing up. Their journey is unique and owned by them.
Remember that a child’s very sensitive to the changes going on in their body and at times they are not comfortable with their new shape, voice control, puberty changes etc. Your job is to reassure them that growth is an exciting part of their life which leads to new adventures.
When you notice intellectual growth, be sure to affirm the new thinking or questioning. This is all part of their growing into a self-aware adult. We want them to have opinions, make mistakes, have attitudes that they can adopt. They are exploring new experiences in the world through their growing bodies. Some parents are anxious when they meet their new free-thinking teenager and mourn the loss of their innocent child.

Self-awareness and most importantly self-appreciation need your ongoing support of all the changes you see in your growing child.

Tell them how you are enjoying the challenges they present and whilst some changes present a different level of understanding, you also must grow as a parent and accept the differences.

In working with children, we had the great pleasure of watching their growth from pre-schoolers to young adolescents. Teachers were very aware that change in children was inevitable, change in behaviour patterns was inevitable and that they needed to adjust their teaching to provide the best climate to suit the growing child.

Many a cute, small child entered my office and at graduation we proudly witnessed a young adolescent who had given us many opportunities to interact with them in different ways sometimes very challenging! What they ultimately remembered was how we dealt with them.

Did we still value them even though they were going through challenging times, presenting all sorts of behaviour changes?

I always remember a child I taught who had many emotional hurdles to grow though over their childhood, not the least of which was the death of a parent. I came across that child as an adult who simply smiled at me saying,

“Even though I was trouble, you still seemed to like me. That helped a lot.”

A child will grow with all their interconnected elements at work, physical, intellectual, social and emotional all operating at various paces, influenced by all sorts of life matters. We simply need to walk with them respecting their right to grow and being empathetic to their journey both uphill and downhill.

“Without continual growth and progress such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.”

— Benjamin Franklin