We all need friendship. There is something about developing friendships that goes well into our DNA. Children spend much of their early childhood and of course later working on developing friendship. There is much to learn as they go through the stages of discovering what they want and do not want from a friendship. They will go through the various stages of losing friends, being disappointed by them, regrouping etc. All of these experiences are natural and are necessary for a child to become discerning with others they choose to befriend.

Whatever stage they are in, friendship remains a high priority for the following reasons.

It gives them a sense of who they think they are. They recognise in friends something of themselves as they talk about common interests etc.
Friendship can be a special secret space where you talk to someone who can identify with your feelings.
Friendship is a comforter. It gives you reassurance that you are connected to other people in a special way.
Choosing your friends gives you a deeper sense of what you value and there is joy in talking with others who understand.
Without developing friendships there can be a sense of isolation and personal loneliness. We need to share and find common grounds with those we like and enjoy being around.

All these thoughts remind us that in our isolation days children need to be in frequent contact with their friends. They just need to feel that warm sense of connection and hope that it is still alive in their relationship.

Keep your child talking to their friends. Encourage them to have regular contact through the internet, the phone etc. The more they talk to each other the happier they will be that friendship is still a strong part of their life. It hasn’t gone away.

Take care to be the encourager and not the enforcer of strict rules regarding the number of calls. Talk to your child about their friends and enjoy the stories they tell you about them. Your interest in this matter gives them the reassurance they need that their friendships are valuable.

We are in extraordinary times and this means we need extraordinary approaches to maintain a healthy mindset. If you are finding yourself operating a little differently, with less focus on routine etc. this is not necessarily a bad thing. The new norm is the dawn of new ways of being for all the family. Embrace it!

“Good friends are hard to find,
Harder to leave and impossible to forget.”

— G Randolf