If you find one, please let me know! We will coat them in gold and create a plaque depicting their perfect condition. It will be on display for all to see! What I would be saying here is the perfect parent is one who naturally evolves and develops as time passes. They learn along the way and as their child grows, they develop new and refreshing ways of working in a family setting. There is nothing static about parenthood in fact just when you think you have mastered the art, along comes change and you are forced to negotiate your way through a different style of parenting.

The perfect parent is all about growing with the child. How you parent an infant is different from a preadolescent and different yet again from a teenager. As your family grows, you parent differently to accommodate increased numbers, social experiences and all forms of change that come into the life of the child and the family.

In a school setting, a parent who was dealing with their first child showed different ways of supporting them to a parent whose child was second or third in the family.

A family is organic and nothing remains stable and constant. This is the beauty and the terror of a growing, active family alive with experiences and challenges. Everyone in the family needs to be engaged in change when its presence appears.

There are, however, certain stable components that should be present throughout those dynamic growing years. These components are strong and stable influences on the child as they weave their way through the slings and arrows of early youth.

Remember that change is normal in a family setting and as a parent, you need to be open to change when, where and how it occurs. Be prepared to be surprised. Change is not always predictable.
Be consistent in how you manage and support your child. In other words, if you are an effective listener and a negotiator that style should continue, though the challenges of change can be daunting at times for all family members.
Enjoy the change experience. It is not about endurance. As the child grows you will grow in your parenting as well. Stop and reflect on the changes and take comfort and joy for the wonderful growth you see in your child.
Accept that you will make mistakes as the perfect parent. This is normal and you can only learn and grow from mistakes becoming a more tolerant parent. Remember, it is also valuable to say sorry to your child when you exaggerate the situation or misread the problem. Children need to see and understand that a successful parent is always trying to improve and acknowledges mistakes.
As a parent, you will need to be tolerant and develop exceptional listening skills in order to hear all the stories connected to your child’s journey of growth. Some stories will need to be understood and accepted as part of the child’s experiment in growth. A quick reaction to confronting situations can be thwarted with problems. Give yourself time to process what you are hearing. Remember to keep a proper perspective on what is happening.
The parent working at supporting their growing child will need to have stamina and above all a sense of humour. Remind yourself of all the growth curves you experienced as a child and think about who was there to really guide you through those times.
Children have a right to be a child, make mistakes grow in different ways and above all experiment in different ways. Keep this in mind when dealing with situations that can sometimes escalate out of control.

In working with children and families, I was always impressed by those families that simply recognised their human condition which at times was frail, accepted that mistakes happen in the midst of best efforts and focussed on simply loving the whole experience of parenting. That to me is all about perfect parenting.

‘There is no such thing as being a perfect parent, so just be a real one.’
-Sue Atkins