Everybody has rights in a family. No one is excluded from having rights, no matter what age or disposition. When we reflect more deeply on this, it can help us put things into perspective. Often, we can be overwhelmed by our role as parents and unsure about our rights in that role. We can sometimes wonder about the vulnerability of our children and what part we play in making them secure. Where do we draw the lines of responsibility and accountability?

A child has a right to be physically nurtured and this includes providing food, shelter, emotional security, etc. They also have a right to grow up feeling safe and secure. This safety is all about physical, sexual and emotional safety.

A child also has a right to be educated and intellectually stimulated bringing them to an independent, happy adult. These rights sound practical and logical but we all know that there is deprivation in some situations. As a responsible parent, it is comforting and reassuring to know that you are honouring what is an expectation from society.

From time to time, as a parent, it can be frustrating when you feel that acting in a strict controlling way may be reducing their liberties. Are you treating your child in an appropriate manner? Is it acceptable for me to control punishments and cause unhappiness?

The best advice here is:

If you are disciplining fairly and justly with an understanding of a child’s needs by active listening then you are acting in the best interests of the child.
Parents have rights. These include deciding on how you will rear your child subject to the aforementioned child’s needs.
As a parent, you can look at the standards of behaviour that are acceptable to you. Using discipline is acceptable and once again all seen in the context of the rights of the child.
Surprisingly I would add that you have the right to find time for yourself and nurture yourself. Such self-care strengthens good parenting and is necessary for personal satisfaction.
You also have the right to be treated with respect and dignity by your child. The best way to set this up is to model the same behaviour to your child.

Over the past few years, schools must develop a Code of Conduct. This includes understanding the rights of children, the dignity of staff, community needs, equal opportunity etc. It is quite an exercise and staff take time to study and develop their Code of Conduct. Once developed it is a living document practised by the school. Whilst families don’t formally develop such documents it is good to remind ourselves that as family, we need to live around each other sensitive to each other’s rights. By setting comfortable boundaries that come with understanding and flexibility for the growing child, we set up a safe environment for everyone.

These rights simply remind us that both children and adults should be given special priority as human beings. The more we model sound parenting with an understanding of a child’s growing and changing needs, the better the return in how they respect and treat us in the long run. Good modelling begets good modelling.

‘When we don’t stand up for children... then we don’t stand for much.’
Marian W Edelman