We are all learning how to parent on a daily basis. It keeps evolving as new experiences come our way. There is nothing that is constant as our children are developing and changing over the years.

Here are some reflections on what really works well when engaging with your child.

Always respect them and let them know they are valued no matter how old they are.
When you give consequences, be clear about them and ensure they are in proportion to what the problem was about.
Always consider negotiating with them so that they feel that they have been heard. Giving a little every so often reaps many benefits.
Your child needs frequent validation and reassurance that they are loved.
We often talk a lot as a parent. Practise listening and really hearing what they have to say. Be patient and still when listening.
Encouraging independence slowly and steadily builds their confidence and feelings of self-worth. They can fail without fear of needing reprisal.
Put reasonable structures and routines in place.
Be authentic. Let them see the real you with all its success and foibles.

Practices that should be avoided:

Name-calling and sarcasm. Words are powerful tools or weapons
Rules that have no real purpose. A child needs to understand why a rule is in place.
Too much control and too many noes.
Be careful with put-downs. Children have a long memory.
Take care not to overprotect. The apple does not fall far from the tree anyway.
Too many outbursts of anger around your child. This can send them into silence around you.

In a perfect world, we would not have to think about our parenting. However, we are human, make mistakes and need to keep learning.

The best parenting is when you are always open to change and ready to learn.

‘The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.’
-O A Battista