Asking for help and questioning is a good thing to do.
As an adult do you find it natural to ask for help? Do you find asking questions difficult?
Often, we excuse ourselves and treat it as a natural process to ask for help. We are not embarrassed or feel awkward. Of course, you can feel uncomfortable about asking for help. Generally as we get older we show more maturity about asking questions. It seems a normal response.
Children need to acquire the skill of asking for help and questioning. If they acquire this skill from an early age it becomes a natural way of operating and is understood to be the best and the most natural response when you don’t know the answer to any situation. I refer to its acquisition as a skill, so that we understand the very real value in simply asking questions and seeking help.
Some children, especially those that worry about making mistakes, can be reticent to ask for help. After all, does it suggest failure and a recognition to those around you that you do not know the answer?
What will people think of me?
Seeking help, asking questions should become a natural process of learning.
One of the most contemporary methods of teaching is the Inquiry Approach which is based totally around asking questions. In fact, the bigger the question, the better scope to learn. This tells us that asking questions is recognised as an important way of learning and living from day to day.
If you have a child reticent to ask questions and seeking help when needed, the following suggestions may help encourage them to see the value in questioning.
Talk to your child about how you like to ask questions to get more information. Highlight the time that seeking help solved your problem.
“Thank goodness I asked for directions on that trip. We would never have arrived on time without some assistance.”
“I asked your teacher how I could help you with homework and she gave me some excellent ideas. Without her help I would never know what to do.”
Talk about famous people who ask many questions to get their work complete. Scientists, doctors etc. are all professions that rely on gathering more information through questioning to help with their work.
When a child talks about a problem, list some questions that they could ask to get the problem solved.
“You seem unsure about that homework. Let’s think about some questions to get help from the teacher. For example:
1. When do you hand the homework to the teacher?
2. What part of the homework is the most difficult?
3. Is it better to spread the homework over several days?
4. Do you need more time to do this work?
5. Which part of the homework is the easiest?
Bringing questions into play is all about breaking down the anxiety about the problem. Ensuring that it is all manageable. Questioning and seeking help also is seen as a legitimate way of moving from not knowing to being informed.
When working with children who were reticent to ask questions or generally seek help in the classroom, we would turn it into a game. I would ask a question about a set problem and they would respond. Then it was their turn to ask a question about the problem. We would calculate who could ask the most questions about the problem we set down and who gained the most information.
Also affirming the child when they asked questions or seek help spontaneously is always a great tool used in the classroom. Try it at home.
“Well done, that question was a great one.”
“I am so glad you asked me to help you.”
“I like that question. It has got me thinking.”
Seeking help, asking questions should become a natural process of learning in which the child feels comfortable and invites others into their process of thinking. We feel less anxious and personally vulnerable when we seek help and question. Both a natural way of life.
“The art of proposing a question must be held of higher value than solving it.”