This might seem a strange topic? Especially as you will say that I always show my child the confidence I have in them at all times. Our children carefully read messages that we give them both directly and indirectly. They are always looking for that special reassurance from their parents. They are keen to gain approval and the more they understand and appreciate your style of affirming them, the better.

With all of this in mind, this article is alerting us to be consistent and clear in the way we show them how confident we are in them.

Here are a few thoughts on the matter.

Use the same words often.

“I am really confident in your ability to do your very best”

After giving such a message ensure the follow up is equally as valid and does not drop intent.

“Great effort today. I could see how much effort you put into it.”

Always keep the same thread running through your conversations, especially with regard to showing confidence in their efforts. Take care that if you are making some comments about improvement, it still needs to demonstrate to the child that you are confident of their ability to have ago. This confidence has in no way been compromised.
Areas in which parents can often fall down here is when they comment on sport. Children need encouragement and they need to feel that their best was recognised by the parent. Take care not to subtly imply that you expected more from them or that you were proud of them but extra effort would have been better. When subtle, negative messages are put into such sentences, the child generally just hears the subtle criticism and so the affirmation has very little value.

I appreciate that this sounds complicated but it actually means that showing confidence in a child is simply and exactly that! You say and demonstrate consistently that you have confidence in their efforts and abilities. You understand that improvement is always part of the process. I have seen in working with children that by demonstrating absolute, uncomplicated confidence in a child, improvement naturally occurs.

The child who feels that parents have confidence in them, naturally take ownership of their own improvements. After all, if their parents are confident in them, everything is possible.

“The way you speak to your children, is the single greatest factor in shaping their personalities and self discipline.”

— Brian Tracey

The child who feels that parents have confidence in them, naturally take ownership of their own improvements. After all, if their parents are confident in them, everything is possible.