Just how unique is your family? Each person, father, wife, son, daughter etc. have their own qualities which deserve to be celebrated and acknowledged. In the busy life of families, we tend to do more of the same at times and each child will naturally react differently to what is put in front of them. Families often act as a regimented group, it's more efficient that way. What we need to remind ourselves of occasionally is the unique nature of each child. What you notice as different can be a great skill or developing strength.

When working with children who felt vulnerable, it was not uncommon to hear them comment on how they see themselves as different from their siblings. Sometimes, this difference causes problems with the family as it does not fit in with expectations. They perceive their strengths or differences as problem areas. These differences can often just be the child's perceptions or viewpoints or interests. The trick is to recognise their differences and to acknowledge them wherever possible.

Some children are vocal and express themselves strongly, others are more reserved and reflective. Some children show very visible aptitude in certain areas, others take on a calmer, steadier way of being. It is not about placing a value judgement on the child, but rather recognising their uniqueness.

“I just love the way you organise your room. You are certainly a very neat person. A great quality to have in life and a great example to our family.”

“I wish I could sing as well as you. Your voice is strong and unique in our family”

“Our family is amazing. John is excellent at Maths and your strength is very evident in story writing. We are all so different. I just love all the wonderful strengths we bring to this family.”

Note here how we refer to all the gifts and strengths that the family has and how it strengthens the whole family. Within your family celebrate all the differences which make for a tapestry of family gifts.

Consider:

Catching them out when you notice their differences.
Invite your child to talk about the things that they do well.
Comment on spontaneous behaviour which displays their uniqueness, especially in front of the rest of the family.
Encourage each child to comment on what they notice about the other siblings.
Have a brag sheet on the fridge. This is about highlighting characteristics of the child which you want to celebrate across the week.

It is about creating a family culture that applauds differences and celebrates each person's uniqueness.

Each person, father, wife, son, daughter etc. have their own qualities which deserve to be celebrated