Have you noticed that as a parent you can have very high ups and also downs? Mood swings can be common in most people and especially in parents who are great givers and not takers in their family.

Selflessness can be wearing and there are times as parents finding personal space to recover is difficult juggling work, home and family commitments.

This article reminds us that managing our emotional swings or the more common saying, managing to regulate our emotions is very important around our children. We do need to understand our shifting emotional state and if we tend to get quite low, do we have strategies to help us when in this state?

Do we recognise when we are in this state and especially for prolonged times?

Do we understand ourselves enough to know when our emotional reactions are too extreme in front of our children. Are we able to monitor this or are we struggling to regulate our emotions when dealing with family problems?

Beware of Inter-generational is behavior, such as children repeating patterns of how their parents acted out situations has validity.

Here I am suggesting that too much extreme emotional discharge can create anxiety in children.

I remember parents telling me that when they were over reactive regularly, spontaneously or intermittently, they could see their children's shut down reaction and confused look on their face. They tend to retreat as a means of survival.

The following are some strategies to assist in monitoring your emotional response when around children.

Always understand your degree of tiredness. This will help you make decisions on how capable you are to have discussions about family matters that can be emotive. It is best to say that given your tiredness, the matter can be discussed the next day. Of course following it through the next day is critical.
If there are issues that cause you considerable distress or anger, is it necessary for you to be part of that discussion? Can someone else close to the child take on that issue?
Talk to your child about how you value regulating your emotions. Perhaps you have some strategies that they could adopt, such as taking big breaths before responding to a difficult situation, walking away, thinking positive thoughts etc.
If there are certain issues that really press your buttons, explain this to your child. If there are legitimate reasons as to why you can over react easily, let them know these reasons. It is best to be as authentic with your child as possible.
Remember that when you do over react or become emotionally charged, always come back to the child with an apology or at least an explanation and let the child know why you are disappointed in your over reaction. This demonstrates to the child that you are sincere in trying to regulate your emotions. After all we are human!

Using some of these strategies tells your child that you value emotional balance in your life. It is important in taking ownership of yourself. Such modelling imprints in the child that working towards being in control is developing social and emotional maturity and is to be valued.

Mood swings can be common in most people and especially in parents who are great givers and not takers in their family.