It is hard work sticking up for yourself as a little one on the yard or just simply feeling empowered when other children act inappropriately towards you. The following is about teaching your child, or a child in your care some simple “I” statements that give them a sense of control and that do not lead to unnecessary conflict.

Sit with your child and talk about the feelings they have often when things go wrong. They will come up with feelings like angry, upset, unhappy, frightened.

Simple words will help when your child is feeling feeling unsettled in any situation.

Then teach them how to use those words when feeling unsettled in any situation. For example:

"I am unhappy when you hit me."
"I am angry when you take my book."
"I am frightened when you shout at me."

You are teaching them to use the “I” followed by the feeling they have and the act that upsets them.

Practice this at home in any situation that may occur between siblings. When you see your child upset, discuss how to express it with an “I” statement. Firstly, find out what negative emotions they are experiencing.

By teaching them to express their feelings about someone else's behaviour you are giving them tools to manage their problems. This is a very healthy way for them to express their frustrations and it gives them more ownership of their unsettling emotions.

Of course, practice is necessary but once a child sees the value and feels successful, they will begin to automatically use this technique.