It is quite natural to doubt yourself. However, with children it is all about building their self confidence and capacity to have a go at whatever challenges them. This is an important part of parent’s work, to reassure our children that they are capable beings and can develop the skills to rise above fears and doubts. We help them in many ways by reassuring them and praising them when successful.

Whilst all of our encouragement is helpful and has value, it is also about giving children strategies to use when they feel doubtful. After all, we can reassure our child that they are capable but what is better is to teach them how to manage doubtful feelings once they recognise they have them.

When you own the responsibility of taking control of your own feelings, you are more successful at managing them. It also brings greater satisfaction in the long run.

When a child has doubts about their capabilities in some area remind them that doubtful feelings is normal and that there are several ways to get on top of those feelings.

Firstly, ask the child to openly talk about their doubt. This is about bringing it out in the open for discussion.

“I don’t think I can pass that test. It will be too hard.”

Ask them to give the doubt feeling a number out of ten. Then talk about times when the child has had success and passed similar tests.

Now set a goal that is attainable…for example:

“I will try to do my best so that I have had a go just like everybody else.”.

The goal is to get them to think about achieving part of the goal. After the test check in to see how the goal went and ask what number they would now give themselves in doubting themselves.

Another example is when a child thinks they cannot run well in a race.

What number do they give the doubt?

Set a small goal.

“I will try my best and just get to the end.”

It‘s all about setting small goals that help them begin to break down the doubt.

Always remember to check in after they have worked to their goal. This is the time to reflect on how successful they were in managing the doubt.

In working with children, it was quite common to discuss the degree of doubt they had and then set a small goal to chip away at the lack of confidence. It was always important to come back together and celebrate the child’s achievements, no matter how small.

Whilst we praise and reassure our children of their capabilities, the more we teach them to manage their doubts, the better equipped they are to cope independently.

“Successful people have fears.

Successful people have doubts and successful people have worries.

They just don’t let these feelings stop them.”

T Harv Eker.

It is quite natural to doubt yourself! However, with children it is all about building their self confidence