When is Success really Success?
Just about every time I would argue! All of us need to hear that we can achieve and that we have capabilities in varied and different ways. Sometimes this can be in simple matters. Sometimes it can be in more detailed and complicated ways. What is the key is the importance of hearing from others that you have simply done well? Your efforts are noted.
Success breeds success. A child needs to feel that they can achieve and that others most especially the parents, recognise this fact.
Words are powerful tools in building a child’s stamina.
Saying often: “Well done” goes a long way in the mind of a child. It says you know what you are doing. You have been successful. The likelihood of repeating success is higher once the child hears that they can achieve. Never under estimate the value of a simple, “well done”.
Teachers are very skilled at building in what I call “success busters” in their day. They are careful to ensure that all children receive a balanced dose of success busters across the day. They notice the difference when a child feels less inclined to contribute, feeling that they are not valued. It becomes an automatic tool to teachers who know by experience that you catch more people with honey than sour words.
“Thanks for cleaning up the paint. You did it so quickly”
“You have put so much effort into your work. Well Done”
“How clever you are when it comes to reading stories out loud. You read with so much expression.”
Notice that the more you mention the specifics of why they have been successful, the more legitimate the affirmation. It shows that you really notice what has made them so successful in your eyes.
Words are powerful tools in building a child’s stamina and giving them emotional reassurance that they have something valuable to offer.
In supporting a child by using careful targeted, reassuring language the following actually occurs:
The child hears the words and finds satisfaction in the public announcement made to them and to others in earshot.
The child feeds off such reassurance and is more likely to respond with confidence.
The child is more likely to respond in positive ways to others. This is teaching them about thinking and acting positively. It is about teaching them by example that they are aware of people’s efforts.
In essence this article reminds us that building success comes from reassuring words and affirmation. It builds strong emotional foundations which are well needed when the negative and vulnerable times can become overpowering from time to time.
“The road to success is always under construction.”