When, as adults we look back on our childhood (or even our own children who are now adults), do we recognise the child in them or within ourselves? Do we reflect on those developing personalities over the years? Do you see many changes in the personalities in your own children over the years?

There are many varied beliefs and studies about personalities and still the research goes on about what constitutes personality and how they influence our behaviour and performance as a person. What we do know for certain is that as parents we have a responsibility to nurture our child’s personality and allow them to express themselves and learn about who they really are. Developing a strong sense of self awareness is what it is all about. If we attempt to stifle them and change certain traits in their personality, we will undoubtedly do them a misjustice. Of course, from time to time we seek to change certain behaviours that are unacceptable. This is different from influencing their personality. Take care to know the difference as we can be easily unsettled by unattractive behaviour.

Teachers are very aware that enhancing and affirming a child’s personality in the classroom will give them a creative opportunity to learn about themselves. A child may learn that some of their personality traits work well with people and some aspects may not. It is all about trial and error in discovering and liking themselves. It is also about developing self-awareness and accepting who they are.

Consider:

When you see those quirky and delightful aspects of your child’s personality coming out, affirm them, highlight those moments and show them that they are being quite the little individual.
Talk to your child’s teacher about how your child expresses themselves in the classroom. Often how a child acts in a classroom is quite different than home.
Give your child opportunities to express themselves and talk and act in ways that make them feel complete. Sometimes adult conversations can dominate and control the room space making it difficult for children to have their voice. Give them space to be themselves.
The friends your child chooses often reflect their personalities. Accept and be inclusive with all their friends as over time your child will be discerning with friendships. They do not need our instructions on who to associate with. They will learn over time the ins and outs of relationships and who best fits into their circle of friends.
Be an opportunist when you see your child expressing quirky aspects of their personality embrace the moment and applaud their style. Don’t be intimidated by differences that you notice in your child.
As a family watching movies together is a great occasion to talk about the characters and personality traits that you admired in the characters. This is a way of reinforcing what you value without imposing your beliefs.
We often hear parents boasting that their child is so similar to them in how they operate. Perhaps this is true as the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. However, every child has a different twist in the way they see and interpret the world. Each generation is presented with challenges and opportunities that stimulate their thinking in different ways. No one person is a replica of another. Look for and celebrate the differences you see in your children. Allow them to be themselves with their own personality traits driving their directions in life. Some aspects of that personality will be challenging for them and other aspects will give them great joy and satisfaction. Only through learning and exposure to life will they understand their personality as an important tool in how happily they live their life.

‘The most important thing you wear is your personality.’
- America Ferrera