No easy answer here. We are confronted by what recently happened in Texas with the mass killing of young children in a school. It is almost impossible to get our heads around this atrocity and as parents, we shudder with the reminder that a parent’s grief for their lost child would be immeasurable.

Who can make sense of such an act and how do we explain this to our children?

There is no escaping that it did happen and that it was publicly displayed in many forms of media. Therefore, at some point your child will most likely have learnt about it from others. Given that second hand information can be quite dangerous, it makes sense to have your own discussions with your child about the incident. In this way you have a better grasp of what your child knows, understands and how they have interpreted the situation.

Consider:

Talk to your child in a quiet and safe place about the incident. Truth is the best but of course you tailor what you say to suit the age of your child.
Children need hope and look for it. Talk about the care that the children in the school will receive and how everyone will be looking after their wellbeing. Remind them that in the midst of that horror there were many people trying to do the right thing.
Understanding such violence and the death of children is hard for a child and so simply mention that sometimes people’s behaviour can be out of control and this can lead to devastating consequences. That is the truth and that is sadly what we need to explain carefully to our children. The world is not a perfect place but a child looks for the good and the hope so build that into your conversations at all times.
Reassure your child of all the safety that is surrounding your child and the care that is taken to make them safe both at school and home. In fact, list all the safety and care aspects built into their life. Younger children may enjoy drawing them as a way of talking about feeling safe.
If your child is still feeling unsafe, mention this to your teacher who will follow through in the school setting. Every school will have strategies in how to talk to the children should it be necessary.
Sadly, the conversations of guns may come up, particularly with older children. Here there is much reassurance to be given about our gun laws and how Australia strategically deals with these issues.
After initial discussion with your child, take care that they are not watching too much news about the incident, as this prolongs feelings of anxiety and builds up further unsettling thoughts.
Check in with your child to see if they are still reflecting on the incident and if they are moving on with their thoughts about it.
Try to avoid adult conversations around them that talk about the incident. Little ears will be picking up on your feelings of distress about the incident.

The trauma that occurred will live in the hearts of Americans for a long time. Teaching our children about the strong safety net we have in Australia, gives them reassurance and settles down some anxiety about it happening to them. Overtime, as they feel happier and focus less on the trauma, feelings about the incident will fade away. Your role is to nurture well, giving them feelings of security and above all happiness. This conquers lingering feelings of doubt and insecurity through childhood.

‘We believe that the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children.’
-Elder Dalli H Oaks