Set small goals to set success.

Encourage your child to develop successful habits. It is well known that success breeds success and the more a child feels capable and experiences success they quickly build their confidence which feeds into more success.

Teachers know that when a child gains a sense of success and achievement they are generally happier and more inclined to take a risk and to not worry when they make a mistake. Once they feel capable of success and have demonstrated it to themselves, taking risks is a comfortable process and they’re not worried about making mistakes as their emotional stamina is strong enough to deal with failure.

  •  Attract success. A child should have regular incidences of success both at home and at school. They can be intermittent but they come as part of the child’s daily experiences. Remember ongoing success continues to feed  into that sense of well being.

  • Do you notice how often in small ways your child is successful and if so do you acknowledge it? For example, when your child learns to skip, do headstands, write sentences correctly, play fairly and well in a sports team etc. these are successful occasions. There are many occasions to show how they are successful. These are small incremental steps but build a body of success.

  • Tell your child that they have had a success when you notice it and talk about the positive feeling associated:

‘You must be so pleased with yourself that you can now get your pen license from school. Well done. What a success.’

  • A wise person looks to achieve goals that are within grasp. It is all about not sabotaging your sense of possible success. It is about being realistic. You can help your child choose goals that are within reason. Certainly no harm in stretching their thinking but take care that they are not setting unrealistic expectations doomed for failure.

  • A child who goes after smaller and more regular goals begins to feel very confident and will wisely choose goals that take them a step ahead.

  • Think about how a child learns to walk. Through trial and error they learn and gradually they push themselves a little harder. What joy for them and everyone when they finally walk. Something drives them to keep going as they move from crawling to sitting up, etc.

  • Working towards a goal should be a happy experience and should not come with too much stress and anxiety. Too much pressure on a child will make the goal too unreachable and unjustifiably a child will feel a failure. Small steady chunks to achieve reasonable goals is the best way forward.

  • Teach your child that celebrating success is important along the way. Make it a family habit to regularly talk about the small successes that your child makes. Be noisy about it and it will appear an expected and  natural part of life.

  • Setting a goal that is a long way away means that you need to help your child take small steps to get there. For example, their goal is to learn how to sew and they want to make a dress. You will take small steps in teaching them and applaud the small improvements along the way. So much to learn but with increased knowledge and experience on the sewing machine the final garment is a product of great pride and success.

Finally, be observant and notice those small, incidental, successful steps your child takes and they will do the rest!

 

                       ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal:

                        It is the courage to continue that counts.’

                                                                                     -Winston Churchill