There are countless ideas in parenting courses, not the least of which is from my book: ‘The Primary Years. A principal’s perspective on raising happy kids.’ Here I have compiled a list of easy-to-apply strategies that can have a remarkable impact on making parenting a little easier. These strategies will be well received by your child who feels more easily connected to you. We could call them the simple language of parenting.

Consider:

14 easy parenting strategies that can make parenting easier and make your child feel more easily connected to you.

Become a natural, spontaneous parent in praising children where possible. Try to mention why you are praising them. This hits home very quickly with a child.
Behaviour that we favour is especially valuable in rewarding. ‘You are such a caring person to hug your little brother when he cries.’
Be very clear when setting expectations. Keep the message short and use simple words that make it easy for a child to translate. Sometimes asking them to repeat back what was asked of them ensures that everyone is on the same page. This is especially important for younger children.
Be a problem solver with your child. Sit with them and together execute planned ways of looking at problems together. Share in the process of working through problems and make it a family habit. Point out that you do not have, nor should you have all the answers.
Slow down the anger. Being quick to anger can escalate the problem. Allowing some breathing space brings the anger down a notch or two. It also gives you time to better assess the situation.
Live out your values happily. Talk about them often. This way your child knows what is important to you even though they will change over time.
Gradually provide opportunities for building your child’s independence. From the minute they are born, we should be finding ways to let them build their independence.
Involve your child in family decision-making. This can be part of your family culture to be inclusive and to engage with them about holidays, activities etc.
Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. This means that you are prepared to listen and compromise. This is all about being fair, just and respecting your child’s opinions.
Wherever possible be the coach not the lecturer. This is about giving independent guidance but not having expectations that they will always follow suit.
Create a safe happy home where your child feels that they have a voice and are valued.
When setting expectations, make them age appropriate and realistic. This way, your child will not be overwhelmed or feel intimidated.
Create a home that is also a creative and positive learning environment. Spread books around the house, ensure that there is plenty of light and good study facilities near and around the family room. Have music playing. Talk about articles you have read.
Be engaged and involved with your child’s school. Talk about it a lot and show interest in what work comes home. Volunteer and find out how you can support the school.

This list gives you some ideas for building a stronger relationship with your child. You can, with practice, get better at using these strategies and once you feel some success it is amazing how you condition yourself to keep them up. You may find that some will be easier to adopt than others. You may also find that you are successfully and naturally doing these strategies already. If so just keep up the great work!

‘The golden rule of parenting is to always show your children the kind of person you want them to be’
-Elizabeth Roxas