As school closes and holidays begin

Now it’s time to really rest and recover from a confusing and complex year. It is a time to gather with family and friends and above all to strengthen connections.

Children will be excited about holidays and carry some slight reservation about the year to date. No matter how the year went for your family with lockdowns etc, Christmas is a good time to put some ritual and normality into their lives. It is pointless reflecting on goals not achieved or plans abandoned. What’s done is done. Now is the time to bring some hope and joy into your life as a family. Christmas in a way is putting normality and ritual back into their lives.

A few latent thoughts about school, 2021.

• Try to not reflect on what was not achieved. Teachers will have done their best under the circumstances.

• You will actually be surprised how much your child has learnt over the year and in surprisingly different ways. Children are more sensitised to how society is responding to such a crisis as the pandemic. Their maturity and self-awareness will have been given a sudden and unexpected jolt. Perhaps they are more intuitive about where and how to function around people. They have learnt to accept less and to be patient and tolerant of others. In our society, which has been focussing on the individual for some time, the lockdowns and pandemic has forced us to look at the common good for all. It has been about compromising lifestyle so that lives are saved.

• Schools have worked hard to put a good closure on the school year and no doubt some positive talk about next year, would have been the order of the day, especially discussing class groups etc. The children would have left the school, hopeful and excited for 2022. I have every confidence in the positive speak that teachers would have given the children in their planning for the New Year. Their job is all about giving children hope through the learning experience.

• Tap into your child from time to time, to understand how they are processing and reflecting on the 2021 year. Some children may need to talk more about their experiences and feelings, others may be quick to move on. It will be different for each child. Listen carefully to your child to hear their cry for support.

• Above all look to the future with optimism and give your child a clear understanding of how you, as a family are managing the ongoing situation. Keep them well informed (age appropriate) and talk positively about how the new year will present challenges and opportunities.

‘Optimism is a kind of stimulant- the digitalis of failure.’

-Elbert Hubbard

A few thoughts as school closes for the year

It has occurred to me recently that some families are feeling some delayed anxiety over what formal schooling the children have missed for yet another year. Understandably, this can play on your mind. Perhaps you should be compensating for missed contact hours at school? Below are some thoughts to set your mind at ease.

• It has been a level playing field for all schools. Therefore, teachers in the new year will adjust in their teaching to accommodate the previously dishevelled year. Teachers will plan with this in mind in the new year and allow time for children to catch up. Their job is to work from where the child is at in their learning.

• The best way to support your child during the holidays is to keep up with reading. For younger children you will be more involved and for the independent readers just plan time in the family when reading is part of the daily routine.

• Keep conversations alive in the family and invite your child to talk as much as possible. This helps develop oral language and also feeds into auditory learning where listening is important.  Therefore, ask your child questions and allow them time to respond. We need to keep all aspects of learning and developing literacy as high as possible.

• Play games together. Jigsaw puzzles are wonderful for developing the brain. Reduce activities that are solo based. The more group activities involving coordination, conversation, negotiation and team efforts are excellent for further developing intuitive thought.

• Schools teach through the Inquiry approach which is all about questioning. When you see something worth discussing have robust discussions and invite opinions and questions by your child. This means giving less answers and being less opinionated or correct as the adult. Nothing stops a child more from talking than an opiniated adult or one that has all the answers.

• Affirm your child when they show initiatives in different directions.  Creativity is so important to nurture in our children. This is all about a child developing a curious and uninhibited attitude to life. Remember, whatever they try is a success and not a failure. They will be more inclined to keep showing initiative when encouraged.

• During the holidays keep the variety of activities going throughout the break. This invites a child to use their brain in different ways. Of course, we all know how long hours on the computer is sole destroying for enlivening the brain. It deadens the spirit an destroys healthy conversation.

• Even though formal school time was down in 2021, a child’s summer break is incredibly important for revival, sunshine, fresh air and childhood joy. If we deprive them of this, they will not have the recovery needed to begin another school year well. They will start 2022 with some residual unhappy feelings of the previous, interrupted school year. A refreshing holiday revives their spirit and enthusiasm to begin again with hope. I refer here to mental health which will have a direct impact on next year’s success if not handled well. Preparation is everything.

• If you have a child that likes to write, give them a journal for Christmas and invite them to record their holiday experiences in it. Less reluctant writers could write out shopping lists, etc.

Finally, worry less about what this year had to offer for your child as they will quickly reflect on your attitude and this can put doubt in their mind about moving forward positively and successfully.  You cannot change what has happened this year but you can influence a developing perception of next year. Children learn best when free of anxiety and self doubt.

‘We are what we believe we are.’

-C S Lewis

What to throw out from our lockdown days

• Fear. We have lived in a confined spaces for such a long time and have been listening with intent to all the changes, case loads of the pandemic and death consequences. It is now time to throw it all out. Too much focus on the negative is soul destroying. Time to throw it all out and focus on the things to look forward too. Pack up all the negative thoughts and strategically throw it out. Watch it fall into an abyss and walk away.

• Did you arrange your house to suit the lockdown situation? Perhaps you rearranged furniture to accommodate the children’s learning. Consider your house arrangements. Maybe its time to brighten it up with a sense of Spring and readiness for simply getting on with life. How about some flowers each week to brighten the house and put in a sense of hope? Let’s see the house as a place to feel good and a sign of real change.

• Are there old newspapers, articles etc. in the house that simply talk about the state of the pandemic? Discard immediately so that children will not casually read negative thoughts about the pandemic. Watch the current news as well as it can drag us back into reflecting on what we have just been through. Be selective about what the children watch.

• When talking about the pandemic, talk positively about the high vaccine numbers and the great achievements we have made in managing the situation and developing a vaccine so quickly. Children need to feel reassured that their world is a hopeful place.

• Did you develop any habits during lockdown that now need to be discarded? For example, I heard about afternoon drinks to ease the long days. Also how about eating habits that developed to cope with the depressing situation. Now is the time to throw out all that artificially satisfied you during lockdown. They were short term fixers that ultimately do not satisfy. Out they go!

• Do you notice how you wore a certain uniform in lockdown? The same clothes, no variation and how much easier was it to look after yourself. Out the door goes that lack of personal care. Bring out the colour and variation in the wardrobe and don’t forget some glitter. It’s time to invigorate your true self.

• Over lockdown our phone ran hot. We connected to people in order to keep mentally active and engaged with people. Now its time to reduce phone bills and actually visit people. Being physically present around people demands a lot more of us than a phone call in pyjamas at ten o’clock in the morning.

Now is the time to have a good mental clean out and refresh our thinking and inject hope into our future.

‘Stay positive. Better days are on their way.’