Read here for pointers to consider wayst to help your child process through the days, weeks, months and terms ahead at school. Children will always want to do the right thing and will be anxious if rules are broken or the messages unclear. They will then begin to feel vulnerable and anxious about what to believe. Gail Smith, The Primary Years.
Read MoreAs we enter the last phase of our summer holidays, I imagine there are many thoughts going through our minds about starting up again in 2022. What will this look like we wonder? How can I give hope and joy to my children when there is still so much around that is a cause of anxiety? Read on for some tips to consider. Gail Smith, Author, The Primary Years.
Read MoreNow it’s time to really rest and recover from a confusing and complex year. It is a time to gather with family and friends and above all to strengthen connections.
Children will be excited about holidays and carry some slight reservation about the year to date. No matter how the year went for your family with lockdowns etc, Christmas is a good time to put some ritual and normality into their lives. It is pointless reflecting on goals not achieved or plans abandoned. What’s done is done. Now is the time to bring some hope and joy into your life as a family. Christmas in a way is putting normality and ritual back into their lives.
A few latent thoughts about school, 2021.
Try to not reflect on what was not achieved. Teachers will have done their best under the circumstances.
You will actually be surprised how much your child has learnt over the year and in surprisingly different ways. Children are more sensitised to how society is responding to such a crisis as the pandemic. Their maturity and self-awareness will have been given a sudden and unexpected jolt. Perhaps they are more intuitive about where and how to function around people. They have learnt to accept less and to be patient and tolerant of others. In our society, which has been focussing on the individual for some time, the lockdowns and pandemic has forced us to look at the common good for all. It has been about compromising lifestyle so that lives are saved.
Schools have worked hard to put a good closure on the school year and no doubt some positive talk about next year, would have been the order of the day, especially discussing class groups etc. The children would have left the school, hopeful and excited for 2022. I have every confidence in the positive speak that teachers would have given the children in their planning for the New Year. Their job is all about giving children hope through the learning experience.
Tap into your child from time to time, to understand how they are processing and reflecting on the 2021 year. Some children may need to talk more about their experiences and feelings, others may be quick to move on. It will be different for each child. Listen carefully to your child to hear their cry for support.
Above all look to the future with optimism and give your child a clear understanding of how you, as a family are managing the ongoing situation. Keep them well informed (age appropriate) and talk positively about how the new year will present challenges and opportunities.
‘Optimism is a kind of stimulant- the digitalis of failure.’
-Elbert Hubbard
It has occurred to me recently that some families are feeling some delayed anxiety over what formal schooling the children have missed for yet another year. Understandably, this can play on your mind. Perhaps you should be compensating for missed contact hours at school? Below are some thoughts to set your mind at ease.
It has been a level playing field for all schools. Therefore, teachers in the new year will adjust in their teaching to accommodate the previously dishevelled year. Teachers will plan with this in mind in the new year and allow time for children to catch up. Their job is to work from where the child is at in their learning.
The best way to support your child during the holidays is to keep up with reading. For younger children you will be more involved and for the independent readers just plan time in the family when reading is part of the daily routine.
Keep conversations alive in the family and invite your child to talk as much as possible. This helps develop oral language and also feeds into auditory learning where listening is important. Therefore, ask your child questions and allow them time to respond. We need to keep all aspects of learning and developing literacy as high as possible.
Play games together. Jigsaw puzzles are wonderful for developing the brain. Reduce activities that are solo based. The more group activities involving coordination, conversation, negotiation and team efforts are excellent for further developing intuitive thought.
Schools teach through the Inquiry approach which is all about questioning. When you see something worth discussing have robust discussions and invite opinions and questions by your child. This means giving less answers and being less opinionated or correct as the adult. Nothing stops a child more from talking than an opiniated adult or one that has all the answers.
Affirm your child when they show initiatives in different directions. Creativity is so important to nurture in our children. This is all about a child developing a curious and uninhibited attitude to life. Remember, whatever they try is a success and not a failure. They will be more inclined to keep showing initiative when encouraged.
During the holidays keep the variety of activities going throughout the break. This invites a child to use their brain in different ways. Of course, we all know how long hours on the computer is sole destroying for enlivening the brain. It deadens the spirit an destroys healthy conversation.
Even though formal school time was down in 2021, a child’s summer break is incredibly important for revival, sunshine, fresh air and childhood joy. If we deprive them of this, they will not have the recovery needed to begin another school year well. They will start 2022 with some residual unhappy feelings of the previous, interrupted school year. A refreshing holiday revives their spirit and enthusiasm to begin again with hope. I refer here to mental health which will have a direct impact on next year’s success if not handled well. Preparation is everything.
If you have a child that likes to write, give them a journal for Christmas and invite them to record their holiday experiences in it. Less reluctant writers could write out shopping lists, etc.
Finally, worry less about what this year had to offer for your child as they will quickly reflect on your attitude and this can put doubt in their mind about moving forward positively and successfully. You cannot change what has happened this year but you can influence a developing perception of next year. Children learn best when free of anxiety and self doubt.
‘We are what we believe we are.’
-C S Lewis
1. Are you someone that tries hard to make everything right all the time? If this is the case you must be on overdrive during the lockdown. I would say quite exhausted. Try easing off a little. Are there things you can simply not do? These are unusual times and require unusual approaches. A little less can be better.
We have all said that we are in a new norm. Consider putting less pressure on yourself by not demanding as much from yourself and the children. Accept that the world has changed. Less mental clutter from expecting too much will ease the tension for everyone. Mental clutter comes from too much to think about without eliminating any of the worries on your mind.
2. When exercising with the kids, try setting little goals.
‘Today we will ride to the park and tomorrow will we will cycle a bit further around the creek”.
Here it is all about shifting the goal posts a little and motivating the children to do better and achieve a little more. It certainly gets the enthusiasm going for everyone. We all need something like a small challenge to get us motivated.
3. Children thrive on routine and feel so secure when they know what is happening. Put a set plan into the day with school work, lunch, etc. all planned. At the end of the day, it is recreation and fun time. It certainly is a motivator for the children. Involve them in the plan and assess how it all went after the day or the week. They will feel comfortable and secure with the routine and look forward to their free time to stretch their legs.
4. Unclutter. Keep the day simple and the house even simpler. The more we clutter, the more we think we have things to do. When you break away from the house for a walk etc. note how things just fade away.
5. Now is not a time to be extraordinarily disciplined and in control of everything. There is enough mental discipline coming from our lockdown instructions. Loosen up a little and enjoy the experience of just being family. Afterall it is such an extraordinary time to be together. Try and savour this time which will never come back again in the same format. Treasure it.
“Tough times don’t last. But tough people do.”
Here, I am suggesting that you keep the long view of education in mind. Making a judgement on the effectiveness of on-line learning is almost impossible in the short term. The results of student performance are all about longitudinal studies over many years. I have no doubt there will be plenty of these studies in the future. However, in the shorter term as we live with on-line studies for students, the question remains, how can I best help my child?
Try not to focus on what your child has missed from not being at school. The education system will need to take stock of what this means in education for the future.
As we live with on-line studies for students, the question remains, how can I best help my child?
I suggest the following plan for children starting school and in the early years of primary education. Here, I am really thinking of that age where children are learning how to read and write.
Read each day to your child. Get them to follow the story. Children love to mimic and repeat the words of the story back to you.
Encourage them to read as much as possible. Talk about the story and engage in conversation about the plot, theme and the words used.
Have charts around the house with basic phonetic rules. This is great for the prereaders. Also include number charts. These are obtainable on-line or even in your local newsagency. Don’t get too caught up with the detailed ones. Young children need exposure to words, sounds and numbers. Talk about them and refer to them throughout the day. Play games and recite poetry. These are great tools to kick start reading.
If your child is literate to some degree, they can manage the on-line material more easily. Teachers are becoming more skilled in setting work that suits the child on-line. Just be a guide and direct them when necessary. If possible, go through the plan for the day with them and at the end of the day talk about how they went with the work. Praise them for putting in the time and effort, not so much the quality of the work. This is more about rewarding the process, not the outcome.
Keep the day balanced so that your child will know that recreation is part of their day. This gives them something to look forward to. Let them take small breaks. In a normal classroom, conversation is important as part of the learning process. Try to talk to your child throughout the day and ask questions about their work. Make suggestions and question occasionally why they choose such an answer. This is all part of what happens in a classroom. It is most definitely not a silent environment. It is a busy, often noisy environment, with multiple activities happening at the same time.
To get the best from the on-line studies, talk positively in the morning about how the day will look. Consider where your child is set up and make sure they are not in isolation for too long a time. Let them feel, that their learning space, is all their own and they don’t have to relocate at the end of the day.
If the teacher writes back some positive comments, print them and put them on display. Younger children will enjoy seeing their art work around the house. Now is not a time to worry about neatness and correctness. It is also not a time to talk about failure and poor performance. Show confidence in your child’s intelligence and ability to be successful. Let them feel comfortable talking with you during the day and displaying their work for all to see. Be impressed with their efforts and not their outcomes. If they develop a strong self-concept, they are more inclined to succeed academically. The message you want to give them is that they are developing into strong self-learners. You, the parent are setting the stage for your child’s growing perception of themselves as effective learners.
In our current world, we are always talking about student performance and measuring success. I suggest, that we have less of this ‘being accountable’ talk and more about the positive progressive steps a child is taking along the way. Each day should be another successful day of good learning. It should not be about simply measuring performance from on-line work. I have always felt strongly about this as a Principal, and I am more so now that children have the burden of working on line.
“In terms of change, learners inherit the earth,
While the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with world that no longer exists.”
Whilst I have written several times on this matter, it occurs to me that there is no problem in repeating how and what to do to help our children’s mental health during this period. Everything keeps shifting. As each week comes around, there is an evolution of new thoughts and discussions on how and what is best practice in managing the situation. This everchanging pattern leaves us very unsettled and searching for the truth.
In the longer term, we cannot understand or contemplate how our children will interpret this tumultuous period in their life. What we can do as parents though, is provide a secure climate at home, that keeps the positive alive and a sense of hope, a source of regular discussion.
Children need to feel secure and as parents, we are the source to make this provision. Our hope is that in the longer term, they remember us as parents who kept up with accurate information. They also want us to be honest. However, in the same vein, to give us hope, so that they have something to look forward to and to set a goal in these troubling times. Setting goals is aspiring to feeling and being better.
‘If I finish my on-line work, I will ride my bike with mum and dad in the park for two hours.’
In the longer term, we cannot understand or contemplate how our children will interpret this tumultuous period in their life.
This is most important that they trust what we have to say and look to us for further ongoing current, accurate information and guidance. It is our responsibility to keep them abreast with the changing situations, age-appropriate of course.
Take care not to talk the negative talk in front of them. They pick up on what is said and if it is unsettling, they may harbour that thought, without seeking accurate information. Children in my experience, do not approach adults who seem agitated or unsettled about their facts and feelings. They always gravitate around the stable influence in their life.
Through the internet, talking to friends, news items etc. information, correct or otherwise is everywhere. You are the main source of truth for your child. It is imperative that they want to seek you out when they have questions that make them unsettled. They will go to you if they see you as someone who will not falsify information, put them down or polish the truth. If you are a calm and stable person, that listens with very little reaction to the questions, then they know you are reliable and can be trusted.
Children are living their own journey with this pandemic and so they deserve the truth and the ability to build their knowledge base as time progresses. For example, we are now talking about the percentage of vaccines that are taken up as being significant to when and where we can open up our cities. The conversation keeps shifting and so too should the information and conversations we have with our children. Of course, we deliver the information in an age-appropriate way and as frequently as is needed.
I believe it is also important to be clear with your child how your family is responding to the lockdowns etc. For example, talk to them about how you shop, what precautions you take and how far you travel. These practical aspects are still to be understood by the child. The clearer they are about how their family operates under the pandemic, the safer they feel in the presence of their reliable family.
Your family has an immense responsibility during this pandemic of not just keeping your child safe from physical harm, but also from longer-term mental harm. The more secure, predictable and reassuring you are as a parent, the better the mental health for the child in the longer term.
“Family is your most reliable source of support in any situation because love from your family is unconditional.”
With the lockdown yet again comes some very low, unsettling feelings for some families. Here are some quick tips to keep a positive momentum happening at home in the long days.
Be positive. Talk to your child about the life-saving measures of lockdown including the fact that our government is putting our safety ahead of all other matters. This is an important part of a humane society. Try to keep the political discussion out of it.
Talk about the amazing speed of vaccine development. It has happened so quickly and very skilled scientists are working around the clock to improve our health and to find solutions quickly.
Talk about contact tracing and how measures are put in place to locate people exposed to the virus. The organisation in this exercise is immense.
Keep the work online in proportion to the day’s events. Too much online school activities can make for being alone and unhappy. It is hard to feel successful while working online with school activities. Build in sport or some other recreation and spontaneous laughter during the day. After all, this is a quality time to be with the family, where there is the least interference.
Give your child updated information, age-appropriate of course. With all the negative and unsettling news, children need the truth about the state of the coronavirus outbreak.
Keep them away from unsettling newspapers that focus on dramatic headlines that are questionable in truth. This is not a time for whipping up more anxiety.
Build a few happy, surprise treats into the day. A little bit of extra sugar won’t hurt but can lift the spirits across the days. We are in unique times and we just need to be creative in the way we engage with our family. We need to be more flexible and use our initiative to break the tension that builds.
Whilst I am always arguing about monitoring the use of technology in the hands of children, now is an important time for them to be in touch with their friends. Talking to friendship groups is comforting and reassuring for children.
Finally, keep in mind that your children will look back on these extreme times and appreciate how you managed their journey through the pandemic and most especially, the lockdowns etc. Being present for them, conscious to keep a happy momentum, informing accurately and capitalising on quality time together is the answer to managing these difficult times.
“Laughter is a tranquiller with no side effects.”
Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and look at this lockdown week. Schools are busy writing reports, and summating work etc. Their focus is very much on these midyear reports for which teachers are so accountable. Given their work overload, I would be surprised if work set online would have high expectations as the teachers have limited time to plan for these online activities.
This week I would be encouraging the children to fulfil the teacher’s requirements, but also concentrate more on keeping up the reading and working on progressive projects etc.
This is also a week for once again capitalising on time together. In the early days of winter just get outside, bike ride, walk, jog, play games etc; that will take the focus of yet another lockdown away from everyone’s minds.
We certainly can get caught up with negative rhetoric that is around but by focussing on some positive experiences together as a family especially engaging in happy physical activities, the time will slip away.
There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.
Consider:
There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.
Keeping up to date with the current situation. Discuss this with your child and make the conversation age-appropriate. Keep the information simple to grasp and invite your child to ask questions that may be troubling them.
Many newspapers present very distressing news items. It seems they are all about the blame game and sadly remind us of the worst of the situation. Be careful about what printed material is in front of children. Disturbing headings can build anxiety. Keep to the facts. Control the accurate facts around the children.
Talk about the incredible and speedy breakthroughs we are having with vaccines. This is a wonderful conversation about how science is such a gift to humanity. It is also showing the amazing ingenuity of the human race. This is a great time to learn about other scientists and their amazing breakthroughs in science.
Keep an eye out for the information sent home from school. The staff are struggling through these difficult times and will want to offer the best to their children. Do not compare how different schools are responding to the lockdown. All school environments have their own approach to working through issues and especially now they need your support and reassurance.
Keep in mind that we are living through very different times and our societal responses to the changing virus are never planned in and for the long term. It is all about short term responses to changing virus conditions.
We are teaching our children to be resilient and tolerant of change that will help everyone. This is a new phenomenon and it is all about empathy and the Common Good. This is a great time to talk about the importance of the Common Good. This is a big challenge for those that focus on the Me generation.
“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”
So much change and difference has been occurring this year. The news each day about the pandemic, the staggered return to school, the anticipation of holidays, the finishing off a very short unsatisfying school year and so the list goes on. It is natural that our children will be cautious and double-checking with us about holidays plans, Christmas etc.
All of us are placing hope in the new year that it will be as normal as we have had in the past. Children also are quietly placing their own hope in the new year that they will not be anxious anymore about the unknown.
𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧:
Talk about the positive news we here especially with regard to the incredible speed of the vaccine.
Talk about the holidays and Christmas being a time to slow down, enjoy the summer spirit and share happy times together. Talk about the plans that you are putting in place for January.
There are some good news stories appearing in the paper. Talk about the great examples of courage and generosity that are present in our society.
Invite your child to be part of the holiday plans. This is also a time to talk about what is possible as a family.
What kind of Christmas are you planning? This is a great time to inject happy, positive feelings around the family. Consider how you will celebrate the festive season and include your child in the planning. The more they engage in activities that are affirming and joyous the more reassurance they gain about the future. We are all talking about the new norm we will live in post the pandemic. Let us at least try to put back some happy normality such as the celebration of Christmas, Summer and holidays. We are fortunate to have this on our doorstep.
There will soon be the end of the year school functions and it is so important that the children farewell their class in the normal way. Teachers will of course modify the celebrations to suit the occasion but it is a chance to talk about the year and the challenges it has presented. It will be a chance for all school participants to farewell the grief that all felt with such a compromised school this year.
Try to attend farewell school functions if included as it provides some security and a sense of normality for the child. It also is a vehicle to talk about the modified school year and the loss the child has felt with friendships etc.
Even though as family lockdown presented all sorts of challenges and opportunities school holidays are all about rest and recovery. Giving your child what would be a normal family Christmas and holiday will be comforting and reassuring after such a tumultuous year. They will love that sense of normality in their life.
Finally, whilst I understand that we’re all talking about what has happened this year, try to reduce the anxious conversation around your child and talk about the hope of Christmas and the New Year. Such talk is healthy for everyone in the family.
How does it feel to be back into weekly routine with the children at school? Much relief I imagine as well as mixed feelings of having less connection to the children throughout the whole day. These times are curious indeed and we will all have various feelings about what is happening, is about to change again and what is safe and constant in our life. As we approach the normal anxiety that comes with Christmas preparations, we are still dealing with settling the children back into school for a few weeks and planning those summer holidays hopefully with more choice than we have at the moment.
No surprises that the family will be a little unsettled as everyone fits back into a routine, wears masks, shops within 25 Kms etc.
Post Covid 19 - and our new routines.
Unusual times calls for some unusual actions to get everyone through the darkest hours. Here are some thoughts to help ease the stress.
Be kind to yourself, if routine isn’t as you knew it, so be it for the remainder of the year.
Allow the children to be moody and unsettled as they are still finding their balance back at school and in the home.
Check in with your child to ensure that they understand what is happening and that they are not being guided by misinformation which can happen through schoolyard gossip.
Reassure your child that we are getting to the end of the year and with this comes hope for the New Year. We need to build in that component of hope as we work to simply getting better.
Share family time as with the return of school this will mean less time together and to date, you have had an amazing quality time together.
Keep up with family activities as these have probably increased over the past few months and they have been a great healing time together. Reduced family time will be a loss for the children.
Expectations at school will be different and so it is still important to tune into what is being asked of your child. This tells them that your interest in school is still alive.
Keep family conversations going about how everyone is settling back into routine. The child will feel some loss and gain in all sorts of ways. It is best to talk about these feelings and together work through those shifting emotions.
With a few weeks of the school year left and with the approach of Christmas I have three thoughts on my mind:
Slow down
laugh together
share conversations about this year’s journey.
At the moment there are many varied and unsettling discussions going around with regard to lockdowns, time in isolation, estimated time to come out of lockdowns etc. This can be a tricky and confusing time for children who quickly interpret your irritations and anxieties so easily seen on your face and heard in your words.
Given everyone’s frustration and feelings of disappointment with prolonged lockdowns and delayed start to school, it is not surprising that your child has many questions to ask and deserves some answers to reduce their fears and to give them some clarity and hope for the future.
Consider simply asking them:
Living in Covid times, your child has many questions to ask and deserves some answers to reduce their fears.
Do you have any questions about what is going on at the moment?
Are you starting to feel uncertain about what you have heard?
Are you understanding what is happening at the moment?
Would you like me to explain what the information tells us each day?
Are you feeling uncertain about school matters?
Is some news that you hear causing you to be upset?
What do you understand at the moment about the progress of the government with lockdowns etc.?
Are there any ideas you may have to feel better about this situation?
What makes you feel better when you get sad about this pandemic?
We always need to find hope. Let’s talk about the hopeful aspects of the situation such as the development of the vaccine?
Language appropriate responses are necessary given the age of the child. Keep sentences simple and clear when talking to your child. Check-in with them that they understood.
Consider the following reflections that I believe are worth thinking about under the current situation.
Your child will read the signs from your responses both physically and emotionally. They will notice what you have to say and will easily read in the nervousness you may display over matters.
Ensure newspapers that are around the house are suitable for the child to read, often they start with very disturbing headers that can be unsettling.
Keep an eye on the television news items that your child is watching. Limit these to just one piece of information. Too much overload on depressing news can be overwhelming.
Sometimes your child will not talk about what is on their mind. Staying quiet is a strategy to hide their feelings. This is why talking to them about the pandemic, including them in conversations is important for their mental health.
I appreciate that finding the positive in today’s situations is difficult but look deep and talk about the great gains in vaccine development, the acts of charity performed by so many and the great gifts of gratitude we owe the health care workers.
The more we look to finding the positives, the greater the chance the child will cope with the negatives so present around them. Given the extended nature of the lockdown, there is even more purpose in keeping the best dialogue going with your child. After all, in their own childish way they are living through this pandemic as well.
What more can we say about the tricky situation we face ourselves in with the lockdown and homeschooling? Here, I suggest we think about how children are learning differently and this has its amazing merits.
Consider the following list of ways children are now learning and experiencing life. Think about how you can enhance and enrich the situation.
Make the most of this stressful time. Value this unique time with your children.
You are having more conversation with your child across the day. Make them valuable conversations.
Given the hours you are together, ensure that those hours provide happy experiences. Keep laughter and lightness alive across the day.
If you are enjoying more outside exercise with your child, start talking about and noticing the beauty and differences in nature. With winter in its grip, this is a great time to observe temperature changes and how the season is crisp and the skylights different.
With exercise comes more awareness and sensitivity to the body. Talk about your changing fitness levels and have fun in playing and exercising together where possible.
Be smaller in the way you act and be childlike from time to time. This can be such fun and enlightenment for your child. They need to see the child within their parent.
Silence can be seen as golden. Enjoy the passive, quiet times when you are simply together. See them as an opportunity to be in each other’s presence without complications of conversation, noise, expectations, etc.
Of course, food is important during these unsettling times as it often nourishes the spirit and not just the body. Engage in cooking together and enjoying exploring with new flavours, colours etc. in food. Don’t be frightened to simply experiment, make a mess together etc.
Is there some manual activity you can do with your child? Build a cubby house, make a go-cart etc. Such manual exercise together builds strong bonds.
This is a time for the family to learn about the value of just sitting and also being active. Talk about how both have value and how to create the balance and not see each of them as rivals.
This is a wonderful time to really know yourself as a family. What makes your family tick? Explore this question with all the family and talk about how you act as a family unit. Once the busy, noisy regularity of the week goes back to normal you will not have that quality thinking time as a family. There is a certain dynamic that drives your family. Explore it while the opportunity presents itself.
There are many simple activities and experiences going on in the isolation of your family across the day. Think about the simplicity that will be gone once normality comes back. Will we then be craving a quieter time? Will we be regretting the opportunities we had to be just family?
Enjoy the simple, uncluttered moments with the family. Remember that this unique time has some special value in your life.
“Live intentionally. Forget that and your life will be lived for you.”
We are still in tricky times. Here are a few basic tips on making the learning environment easier and more palatable for everyone concerned.
Tips to help Remote Learning easier for your chileren.
Teachers believe in moving children into different spaces in the classroom from time to time. Talk to your child about how comfortable they are and invite a change of space if they feel this would give them a fresh new perspective.
Ensure there is adequate light where they are working and of course they should be working away from too much stimulus and distractions.
Noise can be a significant factor given they need to concentrate on a screen.
Keep the area around the child uncluttered so that they can concentrate and speared themselves out as best they can. They need to have ownership of their learning space.
Ensure that they have quiet times on the computer so that they can balance talking with you and working independently.
The chair they use should give them some comfort and flexibility of movements.
Parents can help by occasionally tapping into them as they work quietly.
At the end of the day when school activities are finished, it is still important to respect the space they have set up. If possible, keep it intact for tomorrow. This shows that you value what they are doing and that their work is credible.
If they are doing some work, sketches etc. on paper suggest that it is displayed on the fridge. Here we continue to acknowledge their daily work.
Ensure in the morning that they have everything they need before starting. In a busy family set up, pencils etc. Can go missing very quickly. Your aim is to reduce the pressure for them.
Classrooms are busy places and children move quite frequently in and around their spaces. Invite your child to take breaks and sometimes such stretching and walking across the room is enough to clear the head and reduce cobwebs.
Try to avoid setting your child up in spaces that are used as walkways to kitchens etc. Daily traffic can be disturbing.
If a child is using their bedroom it is important to check occasionally as working independently in isolation is difficult for primary aged children.
If your child struggles with working independently it will be best to situate them near you as they will feel comforted by the support. This is also what teachers do in classrooms. They set up situations to check in with children who need more assistance.
At the end of the school day, reward your child for all the efforts and have a brief discussion on what your child feels they have achieved. It is common practice in the classroom to revisit the day’s activities towards the end of a school day.
Ask them the following morning what goals they have planned for the day. Be careful not to instruct but listen with interest. Your child is used to teachers checking in with them in the classroom.
If your child is waiting around for a zoom etc, provide something to entertain them on the table. Some artwork, playdough etc. Classrooms set up many alternative activities to fill in times.
Finally, remember that you are assisting them and guiding them into good work habits. However, as parents, you are not assessing their work or are you accountable for providing daily education. At that point overstepping the line can cause quite some anxiety for the child. Just be the parent who gently guides the school day at home.
“Educations begins the moment we see children as innately wise and capable beings. Only then can we play along with them in their world.”
Perhaps we can look at the bright side?
Firstly, this is familiar to all the family. Getting setup and working from the computer is becoming quite the commonplace.
Falling back into old habits can be OK if it all worked well for you before. Consider the following thoughts to give your working day a boost.
Consider some thoughts from Gail Smith, The Primary Years, to give your working day through COVID-19 restrictions a boost.
Organise with your child when and how you will do the work. Now that they are experienced at it, invite them to suggest new ways to work. Perhaps they may want to move into a new position in the home for a fresh new perspective.
Plan to do refreshing activities after each day’s event at work. This should involve activities that are fun and life-giving preferably in the open air.
Suggest that your child make their own masks one day. This shows their individuality and creativity to what is a difficult time for all.
Think about refreshment you may offer across the day. I would suggest using some happy, surprising treats to support the new lockdown operations. After all, we all need some moments of being uplifted.
Introduce music across the working day. Invite the child to choose what makes them feel good.
The days can be dull now that it is mid-winter. Consider timing your breaks for when we have some sun. This is good for the soul.
Ensure the child is situated in a light-filled space while working. This can make a big difference to their mood and level of production.
The news regarding COVid 19 has made us all feel frustrated and a little more anxious. Ensure accurate information is still given to your child, age-appropriate of course but tailor the conversations with some positive news about how figures may be improving, etc.
Start bringing in jokes and laughter into the day. A funny joke once a day is good for the spirit.
Finally, we are all learning how to live a little differently and our awareness about health issues are widening each day as we learn about changing patterns with the virus. Use this information to talk to your child about how a virus works. But also keep in mind some positives.
We are developing a method of immunisation. How clever does that make us as a race?
Many health care workers such as doctors and nurses serve in the health industry. They show courage and bravery in working in difficult situations. How strong we can be as people who care a great deal.
How generous are some people to give support to others who are more vulnerable? Such generosity is amazing. It is a gift.
Look at all the positive people who are following the rules. This tells us we do care about the common good.
Find some good news story about how someone showed special care to others. Talk about the great gifts of generosity evidenced in the community. Often, we hear such goodwill stories in the news.
Talk about how this is a very much a challenge for us as a community and it is also an excellent time to talk about the common good. As we live in a very “Me” orientated world this is such an opportunity to raise awareness of the role we all play in our society. The difference we can make if we all pull together.
Yes, school is back in all its glory! This means that families can start to set up routines and schedules for their week so that everyone is in control.
However, let’s consider a few facts. Is it possible that as a family some habits will have changed? I would like to list some possibilities to think about with regard to the coronavirus pandemic that has impacted on all our lives. This list is to get us thinking about possible changes to our life and family that project us into a new norm.
Returning back to school after isolation and Covid-19
Notice how your relationship with your children has changed. The quality time together that you had at home is isolation may now be challenging you to be more in touch with your child. Try to hang onto what you have gained in this area.
Going back to routines can also drop down our time together to talk and engage as a family. Your child may grieve the loss of the strong connection you developed. Keep an eye on maintaining that relationship.
Now that your child is at school how is that impacting on your life? Are you missing the strong bond that developed? Have you noticed your routines changing? Is there more of a focus now on finding some personal time. Can you keep hanging on to that precious development in your life?
Check in with your child about how they are adjusting to school. The excitement will be there at first but their biological clocks are shifting again and the attention which a parent gave is now less. Are they coping with school routines?
Talk as a family regularly about the experiences as a family of being at home. List all the great experiences and memories that you want to keep. Highlight important learning that you as a family gained.
Consider taking a family photo of yourselves in your Covid mode. This can be important to talk about later as a family. Your child will have a very distinctive memory of the journey and you want to bring it into a favourable family experience.
Are there any habits that you have developed with your child? Did they begin to show more independence around the house such as cooking, cleaning etc. Try to keep these independent developments continuing and try not to fall back into habits of doing tasks for them.
Discuss how your child learnt from online school activities. This certainly would have strengthened their computer skills and you will find that teachers will now be keen to give them more group activities requiring conversation and interaction. Talk to your child about what style of learning they enjoy the most and why? This encourages them to reflect on how to learn effectively and what suits them.
Your child, especially if they are younger may become anxious about losing contact with you given the intensity of your relationship over the past several weeks. You may need to check in with them about their feelings of having less time with you.
The pandemic came with some very scary predictions over the past few weeks. Talk positively about why your child is safe going back to school and give them reassurance by gently educating them on how to be safe both at school, in public and at home.
What you as a family have experienced is quite unique. There is no research available to tell us how the future will look or to guide us coming out of the pandemic.
As the parent, your role is to keep your child educated with the facts always age-appropriate information of course. Giving them frequent reassurance that you are strongly present in their lives is, I consider a high priority as the child meanders their way into our new normality.
Firstly, let’s consider the amazing journey in learning that your child has been on over the past few weeks. It comes with excitement, some boredom, new ways of learning, changed relationships with parents, insecurity about friends and so the list goes on. Your child’s awareness of the bigger world and its implications for their life and safety are quite vivid in their thinking.
The memory of this experience will remain with them for some time to come. When they are grown, they will reflect on this unique time in their life. The good news about returning to school is that children are so flexible and given that all children have experienced the journey of being isolated from friends, they will all approach the school setting with caution and optimism. This may mean new friendships may be formed. It may mean that they are more aware of their surroundings and the difference it presents from homeschooling. Whatever their sensations and feelings, they have grown existentially over the past few months and this will manifest itself perhaps in some changed behaviour and or responses to situations.
What can you do to support your child while returning back to school?
What can you do to support the child? Here are some tips on making the transition back to school a comfortable one.
Simply be aware that there will be differences in your child. They may say unusual things and act a little differently to normal habits. Just accept the difference and engage in healthy conversation. Remember that for some children especially the more vulnerable and younger children, they may experience some grief leaving the home nest.
It is a good idea to occasionally say: “Being back at school must be exciting and different. I wonder how you feel about it now?” Here you are inviting conversation and not demanding an immediate response.
If your child reacts with a message that school is too much and I want to stay home, you will need to gently discuss what is on their mind.
“It seems that you are anxious about some school issues. Do you want to talk about it?”
Be prepared that from time to time your child may be unsettled about getting back to routines. Discuss the weekly routines as a family and prepare them for what tomorrow brings.
Talk about how happy you are for them to be back at school. Take care not to make statements talking about how you miss them and wish we were all home again.
Give very clear messages about how getting back to school will look like for you as a family. A child needs to feel that routines and home/ school environments work in well together. Of course, there may be some practical changes.
Reassure your child that they are safe returning to school. They will be fearful if they feel you are nor certain about their return to school safely with coronavirus still present in society. Remind them that responsible adults are making very special precautions for their safety and you trust them implicitly.
Take care not to probe them with heavy questions when they get home, especially about hygiene questions. Obviously, you need to talk about how they took care with themselves in keeping distances, washing hands etc., but they will become frightened if you place doubt on the school’s capabilities of caring for them. This will only make them feel vulnerable and more anxious about attending school.
If you have queries about the school’s hygiene habits do not talk around the child but independently contact the teacher for reassurance.
Affirm the school for all the efforts and care they are taking around your child. This helps your child feel confident.
Children will be anxious about resuming relationships with friends. You can help them by being an effective listener, encouraging your child to find new friendships and display affirmation when they show initiative in building relationships with others.
We are now experiencing a new norm for your child. There will be some hurdles to jump now that your child returns to school. Your parenting is so important in steering their re-entry to school with warmth, reassurance and understanding. Naturally, there will be some regret on your part that they are no longer present each day of your life for twenty-four hours. Time now to share them with the bigger world.
“It’s not what happens to you but how you react to it.”
Keep smiling! Consider that in a normal day you would have less than ten minutes one on one time with your child. You now have a wonderful opportunity to enrich your relationship during this isolation period. No doubt it will come with its trials and tribulations but overall, when we come out of it, think about the unique life journey you have been on with your child. This unique time will never be repeated with your child.
Here are some thoughts on two levels. Firstly, some practical ideas that can be an enjoyable learning experience for your child. Secondly, some practical thoughts about keeping yourself sane and happy.
Practical ideas that can be an enjoyable learning experience for your child.
Firstly, recognise that sustaining long periods of time doing one activity can be difficult for some children. It is useful to have a range of activities that can be repeated over time. Remember short intervals will have more impact for a child if they are engaged in them. Try to enjoy them with your child and remember that you are not a teacher and everything does not have to be perfect.
Consider a plan. This could be encouraging some innovative learning activities in the morning and after lunch some physical activities to get away the cobwebs and feelings of being couped up.
Consider keeping a diary. This is a good idea. It does not need to be too long and it helps your child record their feelings and moods along the way. This is quite therapeutic. The diary does not need to be daily but can be used across the week when the mood strikes to write. If your child can’t manage this on their own, make it a family diary where you also write in it.
How about encouraging your child to write encouraging letters to the elderly in homes? Talk about their isolation and how this is a helpful exercise to support the vulnerable.
On large sheets, children can write encouragement slogans and place them on external windows of their house. This is something that can be repeated from time to time. Once again this encourages the children to be positively engaged with the community at large.
Teach your children how to make play-dough. This is a fun activity and is enjoyed by the younger children.
Check out various websites on an institution like the zoo, children’s museum, art gallery. Many institutions are now putting up wonderful online activities for children.
If you have a tape measure it can be fun measuring the rooms in the house and with assistance drawing a house plan.
In the garden give them a special patch which is just their own. Here they can dig, plant, play, experiment etc.
Setting up a small sandpit is a wonderful activity for children to enjoy.
Use intermittent music to break the activities up in the morning. This gives them some exercise and mental breaks.
How about your child rearranging the pantry and putting a new fresh look into it?
Are their cupboards they can clean out?
I hear of some families setting up a roster where the children are in charge of cooking for the night. This of course may involve parental assistance. However, there is the planning, food preparation etc. that needs quite a bit of thought.
Can your child decorate their room from time to time giving it a fresh new look?
Write a story together. This starts with you beginning with:
“Once upon a time” … then the child adds to it,
“there was a wolf in the garden”.
You add to the story and so it continues. This is great fun, encourages imagination and by writing it down it becomes your own narrative.
In the garden, encourage the children to sketch the plants. There is so much in the garden that can be drawn, painted, photographed and admired. Also, teach the child how to press flowers from the garden. This could be a great addition to include in the diary.
Do you have old costume jewellery that you can live without? Children can reshape these into new pieces. This is an excellent art activity.
Can you all knit together? If you don’t know how to learn together from a Youtube lesson. That could be fun.
Remember, the more you introduce your child to fresh homegrown ideas, the more they value simpler things and learn how to create their own entertainment. For this generation so geared to technology, this is an excellent opportunity to step away from such things. Keep in mind that they are learning in a whole new way.
How about having fun with tie-dying old shirts? If you are uncertain about the process simply google it.
Younger children love a dress-up box. Have you got some old clothes that can make up such a box?
Consider how you, the parents are feeling. Let’s think about how you are managing such a complex situation under difficult circumstances.
Can you find a few minutes to yourself? This may mean physically removing yourself from the children. A little personal space can make such a difference. Also don’t feel guilty when you have those feelings of being overloaded by the children. It’s natural.
Think positively. I have this precious time with my children. I can build my relationship in this situation but it will be hard from time to time. I understand that there will be days when I operate better than others. This is natural.
When you shop can you include some little treats for yourself? Remember nurturing yourself will make you a better nurturer.
Use the phone more and talk rather than texting. Real conversations are mentally healthier than texting.
Find some funny adult YouTube pieces just for yourself. Here you can giggle and remember the quality of laughing.
Whilst there is nothing humorous about the seriousness of coronavirus, it is still necessary to keep you spirits up and plan hopefully to come out the other end being better for the experience.
If you are having a bad day, do less, remove yourself for a while, put less pressure on yourself, read books, magazines etc. Simply slow down the feelings that are making you unsettled. Accept that these overwhelming feelings are natural and from time to time I will have them. You are trying to live in a whole new world. It takes adjustment for all. Children’s fluctuating behaviour will affect how I operate and this is natural.
Keep in mind that this virus has a short life. There will be an end in sight, thanks to the outstanding human efforts in place and you will come through having embarked on a unique journey with your child, one imprinted in both your minds. What memories do you want to share with them?
“Simple pleasures are the last healthy refuge in a complex world.”