What to throw out from our lockdown days

• Fear. We have lived in a confined spaces for such a long time and have been listening with intent to all the changes, case loads of the pandemic and death consequences. It is now time to throw it all out. Too much focus on the negative is soul destroying. Time to throw it all out and focus on the things to look forward too. Pack up all the negative thoughts and strategically throw it out. Watch it fall into an abyss and walk away.

• Did you arrange your house to suit the lockdown situation? Perhaps you rearranged furniture to accommodate the children’s learning. Consider your house arrangements. Maybe its time to brighten it up with a sense of Spring and readiness for simply getting on with life. How about some flowers each week to brighten the house and put in a sense of hope? Let’s see the house as a place to feel good and a sign of real change.

• Are there old newspapers, articles etc. in the house that simply talk about the state of the pandemic? Discard immediately so that children will not casually read negative thoughts about the pandemic. Watch the current news as well as it can drag us back into reflecting on what we have just been through. Be selective about what the children watch.

• When talking about the pandemic, talk positively about the high vaccine numbers and the great achievements we have made in managing the situation and developing a vaccine so quickly. Children need to feel reassured that their world is a hopeful place.

• Did you develop any habits during lockdown that now need to be discarded? For example, I heard about afternoon drinks to ease the long days. Also how about eating habits that developed to cope with the depressing situation. Now is the time to throw out all that artificially satisfied you during lockdown. They were short term fixers that ultimately do not satisfy. Out they go!

• Do you notice how you wore a certain uniform in lockdown? The same clothes, no variation and how much easier was it to look after yourself. Out the door goes that lack of personal care. Bring out the colour and variation in the wardrobe and don’t forget some glitter. It’s time to invigorate your true self.

• Over lockdown our phone ran hot. We connected to people in order to keep mentally active and engaged with people. Now its time to reduce phone bills and actually visit people. Being physically present around people demands a lot more of us than a phone call in pyjamas at ten o’clock in the morning.

Now is the time to have a good mental clean out and refresh our thinking and inject hope into our future.

‘Stay positive. Better days are on their way.’

Early days back at school

The good news is that school is finally back in action. We need to understand that children will still be feeling slightly uneasy given the recent past and the current news and the discussions about vaccinations. Questions are still being asked about the suitability of the injection for different age groups, its effectiveness, new strains of the pandemic etc. Recently, I have heard parents concerned about their children talking about dying. I wonder if all the vulnerable scenarios that have occurred and background news of deaths from coronavirus have made some children anxious about the fragility of life.

Is your child nervous about returning to school post covid?

Here are some suggestions to keep the dialogue going with your child:

• If you listen to the news check in with your child that they understand details accurately and the information is suitable for their age.

• Talk about the positives such as the injection, scientists’ skills in combatting the virus, the wonderful support of people looking after the sick etc. There is definitely the element of hope in all that is being done to combat the virus. Children need to understand the wonderful endurance and science that leads to cures.

• Tap in with what the school is doing to educate the children in managing the virus at school. This is a great topic for all to discuss in the family. This is where home and school can support each other so well.

• There are some wonderful books on scientists who have developed cures in medicine over the years. This is a great time to read life-giving stories of scientists such as Madam Curie etc. These people are real heroes in finding cures and creating medicines that are so effective in reducing pain and suffering. The more our children think about the great stamina and intellect that such people showed, the more we highlight the determination of the human spirit.

• The routine of school will be an excellent way to bring normality and stability into the child’s life. Are there family disruptions that destabilise this routine?  If possible, keep life consistent and predictable throughout the school term. Ensure you inform your child well about any changes.

Remember that your child is living through the pandemic. Their longer-term memories will be very much about how we felt and how we managed ourselves. I am sure they will be looking back and reflecting on how the family operated throughout this time. Keep life a little simpler. Let school be a positive part of your life as it can be such a powerful influence at this time for your child. Schools are stable environments where reliable and trusting people deliver learning. It is a place of friendship and comfort for your child. Embrace it with them.

Back to school and living the new norm

What is that new norm? It is about living with Covid 19 present around us. It is also having a raised awareness of how the condition can influence our lives. We are still reeling from the difficult year we had in 2020. Now our children return to school and try to start afresh with a new teacher, new friendships, challenges on the yard etc. We all remember the time when so suddenly school was shut and children went online at home to study. No surprises that we have some residual grief about the losses and isolation we all had to endure.

With the above in mind, I recommend that parents consider the following thoughts for a year that, for our children, will be a new norm. The schools may have changed some rules to adjust with dealing with the pandemic and children are aware that washing hands, keeping a distance etc. are all new rules we are living around.

 Consider:

• When planning for term one, go easy. The children may take extra time to adjust to the new school year and term one is all about meeting and greeting, setting boundaries and establishing oneself in the classroom.

• Check in regularly with your child.

“This year has started well. How are you finding the new start?”

• Be in touch with the teacher to ensure that your child is starting well. Best to do this early rather than finding out after too many unsettling times have occurred for the child.

• Setting up a routine is important. Invite your child to help with the plan for that routine. Establish where they will do their homework and talk about the balance of activities across the week. Given the break they had last year, a whole term of afterschool activities across a week could be quite a task.

• Ensure that bedtime is regular. Given the recent holidays and the different patterns of last year, establishing routine bedtime could be difficult for some time.

• Talk occasionally as a family about the unique journey everyone had in the family last year. There may be some grief and disappointments that your child needs to talk about. Perhaps some anxiety about being away from you more often this year. Also, talk about the positive side to the home schooling and to your time together. It was, after all a unique year, unlikely to ever be repeated.

• It is also important to talk generally about the state of the pandemic and how we are managing ourselves. There will be the new issue of the vaccination and there will be much talk about this matter both in the media and amongst the community. Let your child know that keeping abreast of current information that is accurate is important.

• Are there aspects of last year that you wish to take up in 2021? Many families are already bemoaning the fact that they will have less quality time with their children. Plan to keep up some good habits you may have developed from last year when in isolation.

 We all go into this new year with the hope that it will be better for everyone. As a family, we have grown in so many ways being together so intimately. We have initiated new ways to entertain ourselves and just be family.  May the new year, bring with it recently acquired wisdom from 2020 and the hope that we go forward well prepared for 2021 and the new norm.

“Children will listen to you after they feel listened too.”

— Jane Nelsen

Back to school post covid

Are we expecting too much?

Oh, what a year it has been for everyone! Here we are with a few weeks to go, Christmas in the air and school back in action.

Are we normal again? What is normal and is it important to be back in what we understood as normal? Who knows the answer to that question?

With all the variation of the year, changing expectations and the ever-present idea that we could be back in lockdown if everything goes pear-shaped, are we expecting too much?

Here are a few tips to make for a gentle exit to the year and a happy entry into the holiday period.

• Be gentle on yourself. If you notice that you are not operating as normal, so be it!  Now is a balancing act of getting everything done for Christmas and at the same time remaining calm.

• Keep simple and happy routines going for the children. They deserve to feel safe and be reassured of normality in their life. They need to feel a sense of familiarity in their world.

• Don’t set expectations too high with regard to learning. The children are getting back into what is a broken year for school and even teachers will find it hard to assess the performance of the children. You may find the school report quite modified to suit the situation. Remember learning has occurred this year in a whole different way.

• Keep home life stable and not too unsettled. Be predictable and reliable when promising children what lies ahead.

• Take care when disciplining poor behaviour. Check in to find out what is driving the problem. Children can still be unsettled in the school, with friends etc. There may be some matter affecting their ability to function well.

• Take care not too overcrowd the week. Let some form of normality operate in your family life. What can you take out of your week to simplify life for the family? Look positively to the Christmas period. It is an excellent time to heal from our unsettled year. Watch old joyous Christmas movies filled with warm feelings, goodwill and happiness.

• Reduce negative talk around the house. This can make children anxious.

Finally, keep up the listening with our children. They need to feel heard as they come to understand what they have been experiencing this year.

“Keep your face always towards the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you.”

— Walt Whitman