Fairness... innate in some children.

Do you have a child that gets quite upset when they see others not being fair or just? Some children become quite distressed if fairness is not followed through when incidences occur.

A chart can help an understanding of justice in a child's world.

A chart can help an understanding of justice in a child's world.

At a very young age, some children have a very well developed sense of fairness which at times makes them isolated from other less developed children who display selfishness, break rules in games etc. This can be a difficult area for parents who in managing a family have to set rules which at times are adjusted to suit shifting demands.

Is it any wonder that children with a strong sense of justice become quite distressed when they see fairness break down and rules seem different for others?

I recommend firstly applauding the child for their mature sense of fairness and in fact read books where the heroes are children who win the day because of their sense of justice.

Draw up a chart where the child has the opportunity to rate the situation where they became angry due to unfairness. Give it a rating out of five. Talk it through with them explaining that other children are on a journey to get better at fairness. This gives the child a chance to tell you why it wasn't fair and together you suggest what could have happened to make it better.

This is a wonderful time to talk about how everyone's mind is developing and working towards getting better at fairness. Keep the chart somewhere visible and as each incident is discussed it may help them to understand how others are still working on building their understanding of fairness.

It is also a chance for you to tell your child how proud you are of their developed sense of fairness and tolerance to others. You could also invite the child to rate their distress at the incident in the hope that after a while they learn to lower their distress,

This is a tricky area given the shifting understandings of justice in a child's world. This activity helps to ease their anxiety and affirm their credibility.