Asking for help, is an important tool in learning

Are you the person that always asks for help? Some children naturally ask, even though they may not have thought through what they are asking. This, for some, can simply be a habit. Other children can be slower in asking for help and others may not ask for help due to shyness, embarrassment, fear of looking like a failure, etc. Not getting into the habit of asking questions, can be dangerously habit forming and we want our children to hear their voice in the classroom when questions are asked.

Whatever the category your child falls into, all children need to ask for help in the classroom and learn that asking for help is natural and to be expected in developing an inquiring mind. Once a child becomes an adolescent, they need to have conquered their fears to ask for help, otherwise, it can become an academic and social minefield.

Teachers carefully monitor those children who remain silent and work very calmly and skilfully to bring their voice into the harmony of all the classroom when questions are asked. A teacher will respect the quiet child, but work to get their questions and voice out in the open.

Asking questions suggests developing intellectual curiosity and perseverance to learn more. By asking questions our children are wanting to explore concepts for themselves and make sense of what they don’t understand.

 At home, you can support your child to ask questions in the following ways.

Asking questions suggests developing intellectual curiosity and perseverance to learn more

• Ask a lot of questions yourself. Demonstrate to your child that asking questions gives you the knowledge you need to feel satisfied.

• When together as a family, have a game of asking questions. This can be a great game in the car and the importance here is to invite questions about some information. The game of ‘I spy’ is a popular one.

• Ask your child about how they gain information in the class. Do they ask questions? Are they comfortable asking questions? Do they feel asking questions helps them learn?  If this is a problem,

• Talk to your child’s teachers about how best to assist your child.

• Once a week around the table ask the children to simply ask questions. This can be around a topic, a picture etc. the importance is simply to practice asking questions.

We are aiming for our children to recognise that asking questions is a normal part of solving problems. It should be to a child a natural process this is used in building knowledge.

“The important thing is to not stop questioning.”

— Albert Einstein

Knowledge is Power

When we were in the grip of the lockdown, we were all seeking updates and new information with regard to the pandemic. Such knowledge was critical in keeping abreast of the situation that was at times quite confusing and unsettling. Managing anxiety and above all supporting the family through those uncertain times was the order of the day. Knowledge enabled us to take control of our daily life.

This is a classic example of how accurate knowledge gives you the power to manage and control the situation.

Children deserve accurate and up to date knowledge that will empower them to take control of their lives. As a parent, it is our duty to ensure that we are honest and give our children the knowledge that will empower them over all sorts of life matters. As a child grows, a parent of course tailor’s information that fits the age but above all, it must be the truth.

A child who values knowledge grows in the power of personal confidence and self-worth

Teachers’ roles are very much about empowering children with knowledge. They give them the tools to take control of their work. There is nothing more disempowering and limiting than not having the correct knowledge to drive decisions. It is like a ship lost in a storm with no anchor or guiding instruments to direct it.

Children trust their teachers because they will teach them accurately and with no holds barred. Teachers will be honest and empower them with useful knowledge. The more knowledge our children have, the greater power they have in taking control of themselves and being personally confident to tackle issues. We are all rendered powerless without knowledge.

Consider the following to help children in this area:

• When a child asks a question be in the habit of answering correctly and with information that is accurate. Underplaying your child’s intelligence by offering simple answers can sometimes confuse a child.  It can also suggest to the child that you do not have confidence in their ability to process information. This can reduce their interest in coming to you for knowledge.

• Children display their curiosity in many ways. We should be available and willing to answer questions that enlighten and empower your child. Let them know that you are happy to share knowledge together. If you don’t have the answer straight away then follow up learning can happen together.

• Be consistent in how you answer questions. Check in with your child later to see if they understand what you had to say.

• Be prepared to learn from your child. There is much to discover from listening to them and respecting their knowledge.

• As a parent remember that the more you empower your child with knowledge, the better equipped they are in coping with various life situations. They are also more inclined to approach you with difficult issues if they feel you will give them an honest and rich explanation. This is particularly the case as the child approaches puberty.

• If you are a person who displays an insatiable appetite for knowledge, this will undoubtedly rub off on your child. Share your information and joy of learning with them.

• Be open to talking about all sorts of topics that sometimes may take you out of your comfort zones. Let your child know that exploring various topics can lead to stronger awareness and sensitivity to all kinds of differences. We are only intimidated by what we don’t know.

 A child who feels comfortable approaching a parent with all sorts of inquiries will undoubtedly feel comfortable and secure in your presence. They deserve the respect of being given accurate and clear information.

 A child who values knowledge grows in the power of personal confidence and self-worth.

“An investment in KNOWLEDGE
Always pays the best INTEREST”

— Ben Franklin

Who wants to be the perfect parent?

That can be quite exhausting and as you already know I’m sure your children will ask many questions about all sorts of matters. Once the questioning starts it can be overwhelming and having all the answers can be difficult. Here’s the good news. You don’t have to be perfect! In fact, not knowing all the answers is an advantage.

The natural curiosity of children is quite special and I understand that as a parent we want to ensure that they are given as much information as possible. We want to encourage their curiosity and stimulate their thinking.

Of course, they will seek you out at a young age as the source of all knowledge which is wonderful!. They will trust your judgement and believe that what you tell them is the truth. This holds you in a very privileged position. In their eyes, you are the bearer of all truth and knowledge. Now how does that make you feel? Well at least responsible for treating their inquiries with respect and being honest in your answers.

This article is about supporting the questions asked by your children with truth and with honesty. This is the case when you especially do not know the answer.

It is best to be open and suggest that together you will find out about their concern.

“Thanks for asking me about how birds fly. That is a big question and let’s look up the information together’.

Here you are teaching your child that making an inquiry is acceptable and that there are ways of finding out the information together.

This is a much better response than creating an answer without validity.

Do you feel you have to be on hand answering every question perfectly?

If your child is asking questions about values and morality this is a whole separate field which involves personal views and opinions. There is information to learn but also given the value-laden nature of such questions, you can declare your opinions in a proper manner.

“I can see you are interested in understanding more about birth control. Let’s find out the different ways of managing it.”

Here you can offer your opinion. When you offer your opinions take care not to enforce your beliefs. They are more likely to be understood and accepted if you talk about them openly and without emotion. Remember, you are modelling how to learn about information so that bias and prejudice do not appear in the conversations. A child will listen with more interest and intent if your interpretation is fair and reasonable.

“Here is the information on capital punishment. Some people are very opposed to this as I am and If you like I can give you my reasons”.

Here you invite the child to hear your opinions. This has more impact especially on teaching the child about taking a balanced approach to some issues.

The beauty of sharing information together also teaches the child that you are a learner and have an inquiring approach to finding out answers. You are not threatened by new knowledge and are prepared to look at all sides of the issue.

Here are a few thoughts on helping your child with questions.

• Be quick to look up the information together. If you are busy suggest saying:

“I don’t know the answer but later when I have time, we can look it up on the internet.”

• Follow through with all questions. Sometimes only simple responses are necessary, especially with younger children. Longer explanations can sometimes get lost in their little minds.

• To keep them still asking you the questions talk about how you like to find out facts and share some new insights you have learnt with your child.

Questioning is such a natural part of growing up. The more a child feels secure in asking you questions, the more they will come to you with their queries no matter how controversial. The more you present an open mind to learning new information, the more your child understands that asking questions is a natural way to learn.

“Life is an unanswered question but let’s still believe in the dignity and importance of the question.”

— Tennessee Williams