Be your children's best friend or be their parent? While we naturally want to support and comfort our children, sometimes the best way to do that is by making clear, rational decisions—even when it means not always being their best friend. After all, being the best parent often means making tough choices for the well-being of your child.
Read MoreA strange word and one that represents so much of valuing the other person. It says that the other person has value. The question here is how much value is placed in today’s world on being courteous or considerate to others. It is, I would say, a very underrated gift that can definitely benefit a person in building trusting relationships. If we are not courteous, respecting the other’s person’s right to an opinion how can we establish relationships, accept difference etc?
I was always curious to find that when choosing school captains, teachers and students requested a child that valued the other person. They wanted a school captain that respected and was courteous to each and everyone in the school. Such a value was demanded in a leadership position. This also applied to classroom leadership positions, sport captains etc.
How much value is placed in today’s world on being courteous or considerate to others?
In a classroom setting, teachers will set up activities, games, group work etc, all requiring a strong aspect of being courteous and respecting fellow students. Children know that without such a value they cannot work with each other fairly and come to value difference. Being courteous stimulates conversations in a non-threatening way.
When I worked with children it was most important to ensure that the child knew that despite the problem, I was courteous and valued their presence. They were an individual of value and credibility and that should at all times be present in our conversations and in my mind. Once courtesy is apparent in conversations no matter how difficult, resolutions are more likely to happen. Trust then creeps into the relationship and more understanding and tolerance of difference appears.
Consider:
When in dialogue with your child always keep in mind the sensitivity of the situation and how you value their humanity by being always courteous. Being abusive immediately shuts down real conversation.
Demonstrate to your child that you are a courteous person to people you meet. You may have some personal differences but still the presence of showing courtesy to that person is a powerful message to your child.
Talk about courteous people that you admire. What do you like about them? Notice that people who are courteous are often gentle people who do not use intimidatory power of being loud and aggressive in style.
When you are talking to people such as teachers, school parents etc. it is so important that your child sees how comfortable you are in treating them well through conversation. It is all about looking and accepting that in everyone there is good.
When you talk about them privately keeping up that courteous talk is so important. What you are telling your children is that people should be treated with respect no matter how I differ from their opinion. It is a helpful habit in negotiating through differences.
Teach your child that you may disagree with someone but you still respect their right to an opinion. You will therefore talk with them and around them courteously. You will recognise that their voice has value and has a right to be heard with courtesy.
‘Teach your kids to be polite right now.
So, when they grow up, they can:
Speak without being bossy.
Inspire without intimidation.
Lead without being tyrants and live life to their full potential
Powerfully, Vibrantly, Harmoniously.’
-AFineParent.com