How to learn about patience

This is a tricky one for children. By nature, they are slow to be patient especially when they are young. They are living in a fast pace world where social media teaches them that instant gratification and immediate response is to be expected and highly valued. One could say that learning patience is an outdated skill. Consider even simple things. For example, do we wait to have hot cross buns at Easter? No, we find them in the shops as early as February when the last dying ambers of Christmas are present.

We live in a world where instant satisfaction is expected and is regarded as the norm. It is not seen as impatience but a necessary requirement of daily life. It is all about we have a right to be happy all the time because we deserve getting what we want.

Teaching patience, therefore, is necessary as it does not come as an innate skill. People who work hard at being patient learn the art of waiting and with it the appropriate rewards. With patience comes a sense of being at peace and controlling the stress of having things straight away.

Fortunately, school teaches about the value of patience and accordingly rewards children for demonstrating an ability to be patient. Walk into any classroom and you will see many signs referring to dates when certain activities and celebrations will occur. There is often an excitable countdown to a special day. Children must wait for their name to be called out and at times may not be chosen straight away for activities. They have to go with the flow and learn the art of patience. And so, the list of reasons why patience is needed and demanded is clear in a school setting.

At home there are many occasions when patience can be encouraged as a great gift and is highly valued in your family. Waiting for a birthday is a typical one. The anticipation builds and then the excitement of the day. The wait is over and accordingly rewarded.

 Consider:

We all find it difficult to be patient. This is not an innate skill.

• Can you think of several occasions across the week, month etc. when you can reinforce and reward a child’s patience?

• Put up calendar dates on the fridge that you are looking forward to. Talk about the wait and the anticipation that is building.

• Do you know and admire patient people? Talk about them to your child. How were they rewarded? What made them so likeable?

• Ask your child about the times they had to be patient in their school day. Note how being patient kept the class moving.

• Demonstrate patience to your child in your own life.

“I have an important meeting with my boss this week.  I will wait patiently for this as I think it is about my promotion.”

• How about the general nature of being patient? We wait to be served in a restaurant or perhaps we are in a queue at the supermarket. There are many daily occasions when patience is needed. These are perfect times to show your child that being patient is the best way forward. Impatience only leads to stress and poor behaviour on occasions.

Slowly and steadily, you can demonstrate and highlight times when patience wins the day. A child needs positive examples, especially as the anxiousness of society deans quick and immediate responses.

“We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.”

— Helen Keller