The value of leisure

The activities that we choose to do in our leisure time certainly define us. It is worth contemplating how we use leisure time and how this influences our children.

How we show commitment and prioritise is all about leisure time. Are we a family that hitches up the caravan and disappears to the beach? Leisure time should be modelled for the children as high-quality hours quite separated from the hustle and bustle of work, school, etc.

The activities that we choose to do in our leisure time certainly define us.

Children need to learn that there are clear separations with leisure time from regular life. This teaches them that leisure time is an important investment in life. It nourishes the soul as well as the body.

The more they come to value the experiences, the more they will be searching for it in their own lives.

Take care to ensure that leisure is active and engaging. Watching television, screen time on computers is not giving direct attention to breaking from routine and setting up activities that provide real leisure for all the family.

Teachers invite students to plan leisure activities that will be enjoyed by the whole class. Often this involves active activities such as sport, art etc.  Sometimes school excursions are all about celebrating leisure time together. It is a great bonding agent.

 A few thoughts about developing sound leisure time:

• Invite the whole family into a discussion about how they want to use leisure time.

• Take risks. Suggest new leisure activities that take everyone out of their comfort zones. Our character reflects the leisure we choose.

• Research what is available and within your parameters as a family.

• Plan leisure time regularly and talk about it as part of your family routine. Let it become an important way of life and not just an incidental holiday.

• Get the children involved in the planning and if it involves gathering and packing equipment, this can be a wonderful way for them to become involved. Let them own some of the leisure plans and preparations.

Remind yourself that creating effective leisure time with the family is yet another way of supporting their mental growth and demonstrating the value of rest and recovery from the routine of life. It strengthens self-awareness and is an important way of expressing family.

“‘In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are.’”

— Ovid

Create space between yourself and your child can be a positive thing to do.

When your child is very little it is natural to keep the bonding strong and as such you will spend much time attaching to your child. As the child grows and they attend school, it is natural that you spend less time with them throughout the day.

All these changes are natural and expected. A child is gradually developing independence in variety of ways once their world broadens to kindergarten, school, sporting clubs, etc. This article talks about how it is valuable to find some personal time for yourself in the midst of a being a busy parent. This may involve leaving your child from time to time.

By providing space for yourself you are reminding yourself that you need to be valued and that personal space can be a form of strengthening your relationship with your child. You come back refreshed and ready to keep on with all the responsibilities that you have as a parent.

An important aspect to creating some personal space is to teach your child that even though their development and needs are given the highest priority, their parents also need to keep nourishing themselves as adults. This also teaches your child that you need to be nurtured as well.

If we spend every wakeful hour with our child, we do not give them a chance to breathe in a different space. They need to grow in awareness that their parents are adults and they too need their own form of comfort and support. This does not always include the child and that’s OK.

Given that the child develops excitement and joy in knowing that you are enjoying yourself than they grow less selfish and recognise that supporting your personal space is a way of caring for you, the parent. The more the child sees themselves as part of a family where all members need support not just themselves, the more emotional growth steps in and broadens their young horizons.

“Give yourself the space to listen to your own voice-your own soul. Too many of us listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd.”

— @MARCANDANGEL Healthy Place .com

The importance of quiet time.

How is your day at work? Is it always noisy and chaotic? Do you crave some personal space?

I imagine the answer is yes.

So too do our children need to balance their time with quiet downtime in the day. This can take many forms and will, of course, vary from family to family. It is all about finding time on your own.

Having your own mental space to chill out, and this may mean doing very little or simply absorbing yourself in a hobby. I am particularly impressed how some children can sit for hours putting together leggo sets. They are immersed in their own thinking and not interrupted by outside noise or demands around them.

Whilst television and computer can be seen as downtime, take care that this is not consumptive. However, it does act as a chill out time for children. The quiet time is all about being in your own personal space and being at peace with your own company. It is training the child to focus more inwardly and to enjoy their own company. It is about resting your thoughts which can be tiring if you find demand high from everyone around.

The trick here is to balance quiet time with other aspects of their life which is very interactive with family, school and friends.

It was quite common that in my office, children who had overwhelming moments in the yard or in the classroom would simply sit and draw, play with play dough, sand trays etc. This quiet time with no discussion or distraction enabled them to return to the noisy, busy space of interacting with others, where expectations and demands were placed on them.

The mental space acts as a recharge button. After all, engaging with people for some children is hard work. 

Children need quiet time just as much as adults do