8 quick tips to keep the mood positive in these tricky times

With the lockdown yet again comes some very low, unsettling feelings for some families. Here are some quick tips to keep a positive momentum happening at home in the long days.

• Be positive. Talk to your child about the life-saving measures of lockdown including the fact that our government is putting our safety ahead of all other matters. This is an important part of a humane society. Try to keep the political discussion out of it.

• Talk about the amazing speed of vaccine development. It has happened so quickly and very skilled scientists are working around the clock to improve our health and to find solutions quickly.

• Talk about contact tracing and how measures are put in place to locate people exposed to the virus. The organisation in this exercise is immense.

• Keep the work online in proportion to the day’s events. Too much online school activities can make for being alone and unhappy. It is hard to feel successful while working online with school activities.  Build in sport or some other recreation and spontaneous laughter during the day. After all, this is a quality time to be with the family, where there is the least interference.

• Give your child updated information, age-appropriate of course. With all the negative and unsettling news, children need the truth about the state of the coronavirus outbreak.

• Keep them away from unsettling newspapers that focus on dramatic headlines that are questionable in truth. This is not a time for whipping up more anxiety.

• Build a few happy, surprise treats into the day. A little bit of extra sugar won’t hurt but can lift the spirits across the days. We are in unique times and we just need to be creative in the way we engage with our family. We need to be more flexible and use our initiative to break the tension that builds.

• Whilst I am always arguing about monitoring the use of technology in the hands of children, now is an important time for them to be in touch with their friends. Talking to friendship groups is comforting and reassuring for children.

Finally, keep in mind that your children will look back on these extreme times and appreciate how you managed their journey through the pandemic and most especially, the lockdowns etc. Being present for them, conscious to keep a happy momentum, informing accurately and capitalising on quality time together is the answer to managing these difficult times.

“Laughter is a tranquiller with no side effects.”

— Author unknown

Back to school and living the new norm

What is that new norm? It is about living with Covid 19 present around us. It is also having a raised awareness of how the condition can influence our lives. We are still reeling from the difficult year we had in 2020. Now our children return to school and try to start afresh with a new teacher, new friendships, challenges on the yard etc. We all remember the time when so suddenly school was shut and children went online at home to study. No surprises that we have some residual grief about the losses and isolation we all had to endure.

With the above in mind, I recommend that parents consider the following thoughts for a year that, for our children, will be a new norm. The schools may have changed some rules to adjust with dealing with the pandemic and children are aware that washing hands, keeping a distance etc. are all new rules we are living around.

 Consider:

• When planning for term one, go easy. The children may take extra time to adjust to the new school year and term one is all about meeting and greeting, setting boundaries and establishing oneself in the classroom.

• Check in regularly with your child.

“This year has started well. How are you finding the new start?”

• Be in touch with the teacher to ensure that your child is starting well. Best to do this early rather than finding out after too many unsettling times have occurred for the child.

• Setting up a routine is important. Invite your child to help with the plan for that routine. Establish where they will do their homework and talk about the balance of activities across the week. Given the break they had last year, a whole term of afterschool activities across a week could be quite a task.

• Ensure that bedtime is regular. Given the recent holidays and the different patterns of last year, establishing routine bedtime could be difficult for some time.

• Talk occasionally as a family about the unique journey everyone had in the family last year. There may be some grief and disappointments that your child needs to talk about. Perhaps some anxiety about being away from you more often this year. Also, talk about the positive side to the home schooling and to your time together. It was, after all a unique year, unlikely to ever be repeated.

• It is also important to talk generally about the state of the pandemic and how we are managing ourselves. There will be the new issue of the vaccination and there will be much talk about this matter both in the media and amongst the community. Let your child know that keeping abreast of current information that is accurate is important.

• Are there aspects of last year that you wish to take up in 2021? Many families are already bemoaning the fact that they will have less quality time with their children. Plan to keep up some good habits you may have developed from last year when in isolation.

 We all go into this new year with the hope that it will be better for everyone. As a family, we have grown in so many ways being together so intimately. We have initiated new ways to entertain ourselves and just be family.  May the new year, bring with it recently acquired wisdom from 2020 and the hope that we go forward well prepared for 2021 and the new norm.

“Children will listen to you after they feel listened too.”

— Jane Nelsen

Back to school post covid

SO, WE ARE ALL BACK IN ACTION!

How does it feel to be back into weekly routine with the children at school? Much relief I imagine as well as mixed feelings of having less connection to the children throughout the whole day. These times are curious indeed and we will all have various feelings about what is happening, is about to change again and what is safe and constant in our life. As we approach the normal anxiety that comes with Christmas preparations, we are still dealing with settling the children back into school for a few weeks and planning those summer holidays hopefully with more choice than we have at the moment.

No surprises that the family will be a little unsettled as everyone fits back into a routine, wears masks, shops within 25 Kms etc.

Post Covid 19 - and our new routines.

Unusual times calls for some unusual actions to get everyone through the darkest hours. Here are some thoughts to help ease the stress.

• Be kind to yourself, if routine isn’t as you knew it, so be it for the remainder of the year.

• Allow the children to be moody and unsettled as they are still finding their balance back at school and in the home.

• Check in with your child to ensure that they understand what is happening and that they are not being guided by misinformation which can happen through schoolyard gossip.

• Reassure your child that we are getting to the end of the year and with this comes hope for the New Year. We need to build in that component of hope as we work to simply getting better.

• Share family time as with the return of school this will mean less time together and to date, you have had an amazing quality time together.

• Keep up with family activities as these have probably increased over the past few months and they have been a great healing time together. Reduced family time will be a loss for the children.

• Expectations at school will be different and so it is still important to tune into what is being asked of your child. This tells them that your interest in school is still alive.

• Keep family conversations going about how everyone is settling back into routine. The child will feel some loss and gain in all sorts of ways. It is best to talk about these feelings and together work through those shifting emotions.

With a few weeks of the school year left and with the approach of Christmas I have three thoughts on my mind:

Slow down

          laugh together

                    share conversations about this year’s journey.

Ten general thoughts about school life

1.    Make it inclusive. Ensure school is seen as an important factor in your family. It should not sit as an added extra but be seen as an integral part of family life across the year. Talk often about school as a family. Discuss the activities and events that are present in the life of the school.

2.    If you become more actively engaged with school activities you will have more understanding of the internal structure of the school. This brings home and school much closer together. It puts your child at ease. They are proud to have the presence of their parents in their school environment.

3.     Invite your child to read newsletters to you and to talk about forthcoming events.

4.    Ensure you have a presence in the school. Playgrounds are great places to chat with other families and talk about the events at school.

5.    Consider the number of hours per day a child spends at school. This cannot be dismissed at the end of the day if the child is keen to talk about school. Let it all flow.

6.    Ask yourself what can I learn as apparent from the school? If you keep your focus on what is happening you will be amazed at the learning you gain.

7.    As your child connects to the school, you will also discover new networks of parents who often become great friends over the years. Afterall you are sharing a journey together with these families.

8.    School life for your child may bring back nostalgic memories of your time at school both positive and negative. Take care to keep in mind that this is your child’s journey in a different era and will present different challenges and opportunities that should not be clouded by your own memories.

9.    Children will come home influenced by so many varied opinions and attitudes. They will challenge us as we may hear them expressing views that are contradictory to our own. A school must be open to differences and will educate inviting your child to consider optional points of view. We need to be ready for this. It may challenge us to discuss other values, beliefs etc. with our child.

10.  Make your home a space where the influences of school are present. For example, display children’s work on fridges, leave school newsletters around the home, ensure the child has a comfortable space to do homework etc. Leave school notes visible to read for all. School is a definite way of life and the more the child can move comfortably between home and school, the easier the process for all.

Ten thoughts about school life

On the very important subject of learning to read while at home.

There is no escaping the fact that there is one particular age group of students that will feel the disadvantage of not being in a school environment for a while. That age group are the children starting school and are in their foundational years. This is especially the first two to three years of school.

Learning to read in ISO

Here I refer particularly to the disadvantage of not learning reading in a school setting. The child, at those early ages, is like a sponge and the total stimulus provided by the classroom and teacher sets them off on an amazing discovery of reading. It is like a light bulb goes off in their brain and suddenly you see a massive acceleration in learning. There is no question that reading is the key to so much learning that follows in those early years.

Parents cannot be providing the stimulus that is on offer in a   classroom. Therefore, don’t feel guilty that you are in any way responsible for what your young child is missing out on.

However, given the nature of our limited year with the pandemic, we make the best of what we have and help the child in the most effective way possible. Keep in mind that this is a level playing field for all children who should be happily ensconced in school across the five days. Education will need to make adjustments to their teaching and learning to compensate for the deficit of learning in those early years.

Here are some suggestions to give your child opportunities to get on the gravy train of reading. But beware! Make it an enjoyable experience and one where your child feels successful and not anxious that they are displeasing you. Such a reaction will shut down the child when it comes to learning. Throughout the process, it should be seen as an adventure to discover words etc.

• Read daily to your child. Choose suitable books that are age-appropriate.

• Allow your child to mimic words. At some point, they may learn the story off by heart. Let them tell the story and this is also a legitimate way to learn to read.

• Label their bedroom and kitchen etc. with simple words depicting the room. For example, write words like bed, fridge, seat etc. Don’t make this too complicated.

• Recite poetry and sing songs regularly. The rhythm and pattern of simple poems and songs helps the reading process.

• Point our words in the street such as Stop and GO.

• Write simple sentences for your child and read them out together. Sometimes putting words on cardboard can be a fun word game.

• When they draw a picture together you can write what it is under the image. Ensure all attempts at writing are visibly displayed around the house.

• Obtain audiobooks where the child can follow the prompts and sound to turn pages. These can be found in libraries and online.

• If the child attempts to read something that is difficult, simply guide them and praise their efforts at having a go.

• Simple words that sound out with phonetics can be introduced as well. Remember nothing is a test or trial. It is all about experimenting with words and being positive.

Learning to read is complex but also needs your simple input with providing the stimulus around the house. Leave plenty of paper and pencils around as experimentation with writing words is a legitimate way of learning to read. You role is not to correct their writing but talk about it and copy below the correct version.

Keep the conversation going with children. Allow them to talk a lot and experiment with new words. Reading, writing and speaking are strongly linked together in the learning process. One feeds off the other.

There are many online reading programs to be used. Take care not to spend too much time on them as they can defeat the purpose if they totally consume the child. Remember, literacy is all around us and children can learn to read with so much stimulus that you offer on a daily basis.

“We should teach our children to dream with their eyes open.”

— Harry Edwards

A few tips on helping with home schooling

We are still in tricky times. Here are a few basic tips on making the learning environment easier and more palatable for everyone concerned.

Tips to help Remote Learning easier for your chileren.

• Teachers believe in moving children into different spaces in the classroom from time to time. Talk to your child about how comfortable they are and invite a change of space if they feel this would give them a fresh new perspective.

• Ensure there is adequate light where they are working and of course they should be working away from too much stimulus and distractions.

• Noise can be a significant factor given they need to concentrate on a screen.

• Keep the area around the child uncluttered so that they can concentrate and speared themselves out as best they can. They need to have ownership of their learning space.

• Ensure that they have quiet times on the computer so that they can balance talking with you and working independently.

• The chair they use should give them some comfort and flexibility of movements.

• Parents can help by occasionally tapping into them as they work quietly.

• At the end of the day when school activities are finished, it is still important to respect the space they have set up. If possible, keep it intact for tomorrow. This shows that you value what they are doing and that their work is credible.

• If they are doing some work, sketches etc. on paper suggest that it is displayed on the fridge. Here we continue to acknowledge their daily work.

• Ensure in the morning that they have everything they need before starting. In a busy family set up, pencils etc. Can go missing very quickly. Your aim is to reduce the pressure for them.

• Classrooms are busy places and children move quite frequently in and around their spaces. Invite your child to take breaks and sometimes such stretching and walking across the room is enough to clear the head and reduce cobwebs.

• Try to avoid setting your child up in spaces that are used as walkways to kitchens etc. Daily traffic can be disturbing.

• If a child is using their bedroom it is important to check occasionally as working independently in isolation is difficult for primary aged children.

• If your child struggles with working independently it will be best to situate them near you as they will feel comforted by the support. This is also what teachers do in classrooms. They set up situations to check in with children who need more assistance.

• At the end of the school day, reward your child for all the efforts and have a brief discussion on what your child feels they have achieved. It is common practice in the classroom to revisit the day’s activities towards the end of a school day.

• Ask them the following morning what goals they have planned for the day. Be careful not to instruct but listen with interest. Your child is used to teachers checking in with them in the classroom.

• If your child is waiting around for a zoom etc, provide something to entertain them on the table. Some artwork, playdough etc. Classrooms set up many alternative activities to fill in times.

Finally, remember that you are assisting them and guiding them into good work habits. However, as parents, you are not assessing their work or are you accountable for providing daily education. At that point overstepping the line can cause quite some anxiety for the child. Just be the parent who gently guides the school day at home.

“Educations begins the moment we see children as innately wise and capable beings. Only then can we play along with them in their world.”

— VinceGowmon.com