Five great tips to help our kids and ourselves in these difficult times

1. Are you someone that tries hard to make everything right all the time? If this is the case you must be on overdrive during the lockdown. I would say quite exhausted. Try easing off a little. Are there things you can simply not do? These are unusual times and require unusual approaches.  A little less can be better.

We have all said that we are in a new norm. Consider putting less pressure on yourself by not demanding as much from yourself and the children. Accept that the world has changed. Less mental clutter from expecting too much will ease the tension for everyone. Mental clutter comes from too much to think about without eliminating any of the worries on your mind.

2. When exercising with the kids, try setting little goals.

‘Today we will ride to the park and tomorrow will we will cycle a bit further around the creek”.

Here it is all about shifting the goal posts a little and motivating the children to do better and achieve a little more. It certainly gets the enthusiasm going for everyone. We all need something like a small challenge to get us motivated.

3. Children thrive on routine and feel so secure when they know what is happening. Put a set plan into the day with school work, lunch, etc. all planned. At the end of the day, it is recreation and fun time. It certainly is a motivator for the children. Involve them in the plan and assess how it all went after the day or the week. They will feel comfortable and secure with the routine and look forward to their free time to stretch their legs.

4. Unclutter. Keep the day simple and the house even simpler. The more we clutter, the more we think we have things to do. When you break away from the house for a walk etc. note how things just fade away.

5. Now is not a time to be extraordinarily disciplined and in control of everything. There is enough mental discipline coming from our lockdown instructions. Loosen up a little and enjoy the experience of just being family. Afterall it is such an extraordinary time to be together. Try and savour this time which will never come back again in the same format. Treasure it.

“Tough times don’t last. But tough people do.”

— Robert H. Schuller

Everyone is concerned about their child’s education in lockdown

Here, I am suggesting that you keep the long view of education in mind. Making a judgement on the effectiveness of on-line learning is almost impossible in the short term. The results of student performance are all about longitudinal studies over many years. I have no doubt there will be plenty of these studies in the future. However, in the shorter term as we live with on-line studies for students, the question remains, how can I best help my child?

Try not to focus on what your child has missed from not being at school. The education system will need to take stock of what this means in education for the future.

As we live with on-line studies for students, the question remains, how can I best help my child?

I suggest the following plan for children starting school and in the early years of primary education. Here, I am really thinking of that age where children are learning how to read and write.

• Read each day to your child. Get them to follow the story. Children love to mimic and repeat the words of the story back to you.

• Encourage them to read as much as possible. Talk about the story and engage in conversation about the plot, theme and the words used.

• Have charts around the house with basic phonetic rules. This is great for the prereaders. Also include number charts. These are obtainable on-line or even in your local newsagency. Don’t get too caught up with the detailed ones. Young children need exposure to words, sounds and numbers. Talk about them and refer to them throughout the day. Play games and recite poetry. These are great tools to kick start reading.

• If your child is literate to some degree, they can manage the on-line material more easily. Teachers are becoming more skilled in setting work that suits the child on-line. Just be a guide and direct them when necessary. If possible, go through the plan for the day with them and at the end of the day talk about how they went with the work. Praise them for putting in the time and effort, not so much the quality of the work. This is more about rewarding the process, not the outcome.

• Keep the day balanced so that your child will know that recreation is part of their day. This gives them something to look forward to. Let them take small breaks. In a normal classroom, conversation is important as part of the learning process. Try to talk to your child throughout the day and ask questions about their work. Make suggestions and question occasionally why they choose such an answer. This is all part of what happens in a classroom. It is most definitely not a silent environment. It is a busy, often noisy environment, with multiple activities happening at the same time.

• To get the best from the on-line studies, talk positively in the morning about how the day will look. Consider where your child is set up and make sure they are not in isolation for too long a time. Let them feel, that their learning space, is all their own and they don’t have to relocate at the end of the day.

• If the teacher writes back some positive comments, print them and put them on display. Younger children will enjoy seeing their art work around the house. Now is not a time to worry about neatness and correctness. It is also not a time to talk about failure and poor performance. Show confidence in your child’s intelligence and ability to be successful. Let them feel comfortable talking with you during the day and displaying their work for all to see. Be impressed with their efforts and not their outcomes. If they develop a strong self-concept, they are more inclined to succeed academically. The message you want to give them is that they are developing into strong self-learners. You, the parent are setting the stage for your child’s growing perception of themselves as effective learners.

In our current world, we are always talking about student performance and measuring success. I suggest, that we have less of this ‘being accountable’ talk and more about the positive progressive steps a child is taking along the way. Each day should be another successful day of good learning. It should not be about simply measuring performance from on-line work. I have always felt strongly about this as a Principal, and I am more so now that children have the burden of working on line. 

“In terms of change, learners inherit the earth,

While the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with world that no longer exists.”

— Eric Hoffer

All things Covid19 - resource list.

Covid19 and the various levels of lockdown have been extremely stressful for parents, to say the least. How do we explain this situation to our children when we’re feeling immense levels of stress ourselves?

Here’s a recourse list to help explain all things Covid19 to our children.

What to say when tricky questions are asked about Coronavirus

How to stop the worry with issues like coronavirus.

Isolation and being at a distance - what does that mean?

Another lockdown and more home schooling. How important is it?

So, we are back working on line from home.

Let’s take away the fear and replace it with positive thinking.

On we go with lockdowns

A few tips on helping with home schooling

8 quick tips to keep the mood positive in these tricky times

“Lockdown again,” I hear you say.

Crazy creative ideas for long stays at home.

Getting back to routine after lockdown

Back to school and living the new norm

A positive thought

Everyone is concerned about their child’s education in lockdown

Looking after yourself a key ingredient into coping

“Lockdown again,” I hear you say.

I wish there was an easy response to how best to support children and families during lockdown but nonetheless, let’s have a try.

Lockdown is in itself a down word. Why not, ‘recovery time’ or ‘time out’. Whatever the name, the feeling of being in lockdown, oh sorry, ‘time out’ can be a real down feeling for all concerned in the family. The following thoughts are to remind us again of some positive thinking in this time when we feel so deprived on so many levels.

• The lockdown is to protect the lives of people. We live in a society where at all cost, people’s lives are given the highest priority. Our society values people.

• We are really needing to remember the common good. For example, by wearing masks you are looking after other people as well as yourself. By using the QR system you are providing information that can lead to early detection of the virus and fewer people spreading the disease.

• There is not much joy left in online school work but in the longer term, more than any other time we can remember, you the parent will have plenty of personal time with your child. This can have an amazing impact on building deeper, lasting relationships with your child. When working across a busy week of school etc, your quality time with your child is greatly diminished.

• Have you noticed that your conversations with your child are broader and that you are both looking for joint activities to do more than ever before? This must be continuing to build a lasting, memorable relationship with your child.

• Have you noticed new and interesting things about your child? Having more time together gives you more time to simply notice the joy of your growing child.

• Of course, as the lockdown increases and changes, as the parent, you need to give further explanations about the shifting nature of the virus. Your information here should be clear and age-appropriate.

• This is such a wonderful time to talk together about a serious matter that needs mature handling on the part of the parent. It challenges us to recognise the importance of giving accurate information and also building hope into the conversation. This is such an important time for sound parenting, as the child looks to you for mature family leadership, reassurance and support. Often much of our parenting is done on the run. With the issue of the pandemic so prevalent in our lives, how you handle it around your child will have a major impact on their understandings later in life.

• Difficult as it may be, bringing some warmth and humour into the day can make an amazing difference to everyone’s disposition.

• Keeping up with the smiles, having jokes, exercising together and talking as a family in a happy and relaxed way on a regular basis can lighten the spirit.

“We must accept finite disappointments but we must not lose infinite hope.”

— Martin Luther King Jr.

Getting back to routine after lockdown

Tricky times requires creative thinking and for our children going back to school is a relief as well as creating some anxiety about yet again fitting in to school. There is no doubt the times are challenging and our children will look back on this period with some trepidation and for them, it is a new norm.

This article is a simple one. It is all about helping your child be comfortable and adjust to the “not so routine” of life and school. They are living with the ever-threatening idea of yet another lockdown and this must cause some trepidation as they attempt to go back to school and fit into the school plan.

 Consider the following thoughts.

• Be flexible. Everything is changing including the teacher’s expectations with the children. Accept that difference is part of the new norm.

• The permanency for your child is the stability of the family. Your constant presence in their life is a powerful support for them in today’s climate. Try to ensure that routines, schedules etc. are in place again. This creates some safe reassurance for the child.

• Check in with your child’s social life. Are they happily engaging with their friends or are they somewhat reticent to reignite friendships? Chat to your child’s teacher if this is a problem. Children can easily feel unsettled with friends after such intermittent breaks from school.

• Ensure your child has a balanced amount of sleep and recreation across the week. They certainly need to set up a balance that will be consistent across the week and feel reassured that the routine will be part of their norm.

• School holidays will soon be starting. Given the isolated, online work they have just had, start planning this time with your child. This should be a productive time and one that gives your child joy, physical opportunities, some adventure and quiet time.

• Keep the conversation flowing with regard to all the progress being made with vaccines etc. Our children need to understand the times they are living through. Their understanding may carry with it some anxiety but it should be filled with accurate knowledge on the management of the virus. Of course, the information to be given must be age-appropriate.

Finally, children thrive on being happy and having a sense of hope and optimism in their world. For this to be achievable they rely on you, the parent. Keeping the focus for the future on a positive note is such an important part of the parent’s work in today’s climate where unpredictability thrives and their foundational years can be shaken. You are the rock upon which the foundation is built.

“It’s not simply the learning..
It’s the stability. Stability is essential in the lives of children.”

—   Pedro Noguera

8 quick tips to keep the mood positive in these tricky times

With the lockdown yet again comes some very low, unsettling feelings for some families. Here are some quick tips to keep a positive momentum happening at home in the long days.

• Be positive. Talk to your child about the life-saving measures of lockdown including the fact that our government is putting our safety ahead of all other matters. This is an important part of a humane society. Try to keep the political discussion out of it.

• Talk about the amazing speed of vaccine development. It has happened so quickly and very skilled scientists are working around the clock to improve our health and to find solutions quickly.

• Talk about contact tracing and how measures are put in place to locate people exposed to the virus. The organisation in this exercise is immense.

• Keep the work online in proportion to the day’s events. Too much online school activities can make for being alone and unhappy. It is hard to feel successful while working online with school activities.  Build in sport or some other recreation and spontaneous laughter during the day. After all, this is a quality time to be with the family, where there is the least interference.

• Give your child updated information, age-appropriate of course. With all the negative and unsettling news, children need the truth about the state of the coronavirus outbreak.

• Keep them away from unsettling newspapers that focus on dramatic headlines that are questionable in truth. This is not a time for whipping up more anxiety.

• Build a few happy, surprise treats into the day. A little bit of extra sugar won’t hurt but can lift the spirits across the days. We are in unique times and we just need to be creative in the way we engage with our family. We need to be more flexible and use our initiative to break the tension that builds.

• Whilst I am always arguing about monitoring the use of technology in the hands of children, now is an important time for them to be in touch with their friends. Talking to friendship groups is comforting and reassuring for children.

Finally, keep in mind that your children will look back on these extreme times and appreciate how you managed their journey through the pandemic and most especially, the lockdowns etc. Being present for them, conscious to keep a happy momentum, informing accurately and capitalising on quality time together is the answer to managing these difficult times.

“Laughter is a tranquiller with no side effects.”

— Author unknown

Another lockdown and more home schooling. How important is it?

Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and look at this lockdown week. Schools are busy writing reports, and summating work etc. Their focus is very much on these midyear reports for which teachers are so accountable. Given their work overload, I would be surprised if work set online would have high expectations as the teachers have limited time to plan for these online activities.

This week I would be encouraging the children to fulfil the teacher’s requirements, but also concentrate more on keeping up the reading and working on progressive projects etc.

This is also a week for once again capitalising on time together. In the early days of winter just get outside, bike ride, walk, jog, play games etc; that will take the focus of yet another lockdown away from everyone’s minds.

 We certainly can get caught up with negative rhetoric that is around but by focussing on some positive experiences together as a family especially engaging in happy physical activities, the time will slip away.

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

Consider:

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

• Keeping up to date with the current situation. Discuss this with your child and make the conversation age-appropriate. Keep the information simple to grasp and invite your child to ask questions that may be troubling them.

• Many newspapers present very distressing news items. It seems they are all about the blame game and sadly remind us of the worst of the situation. Be careful about what printed material is in front of children. Disturbing headings can build anxiety. Keep to the facts. Control the accurate facts around the children.

• Talk about the incredible and speedy breakthroughs we are having with vaccines. This is a wonderful conversation about how science is such a gift to humanity. It is also showing the amazing ingenuity of the human race. This is a great time to learn about other scientists and their amazing breakthroughs in science.

• Keep an eye out for the information sent home from school. The staff are struggling through these difficult times and will want to offer the best to their children. Do not compare how different schools are responding to the lockdown. All school environments have their own approach to working through issues and especially now they need your support and reassurance.

• Keep in mind that we are living through very different times and our societal responses to the changing virus are never planned in and for the long term. It is all about short term responses to changing virus conditions.

We are teaching our children to be resilient and tolerant of change that will help everyone. This is a new phenomenon and it is all about empathy and the Common Good. This is a great time to talk about the importance of the Common Good. This is a big challenge for those that focus on the Me generation.

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”

— Helen Keller

Early days back at school

The good news is that school is finally back in action. We need to understand that children will still be feeling slightly uneasy given the recent past and the current news and the discussions about vaccinations. Questions are still being asked about the suitability of the injection for different age groups, its effectiveness, new strains of the pandemic etc. Recently, I have heard parents concerned about their children talking about dying. I wonder if all the vulnerable scenarios that have occurred and background news of deaths from coronavirus have made some children anxious about the fragility of life.

Is your child nervous about returning to school post covid?

Here are some suggestions to keep the dialogue going with your child:

• If you listen to the news check in with your child that they understand details accurately and the information is suitable for their age.

• Talk about the positives such as the injection, scientists’ skills in combatting the virus, the wonderful support of people looking after the sick etc. There is definitely the element of hope in all that is being done to combat the virus. Children need to understand the wonderful endurance and science that leads to cures.

• Tap in with what the school is doing to educate the children in managing the virus at school. This is a great topic for all to discuss in the family. This is where home and school can support each other so well.

• There are some wonderful books on scientists who have developed cures in medicine over the years. This is a great time to read life-giving stories of scientists such as Madam Curie etc. These people are real heroes in finding cures and creating medicines that are so effective in reducing pain and suffering. The more our children think about the great stamina and intellect that such people showed, the more we highlight the determination of the human spirit.

• The routine of school will be an excellent way to bring normality and stability into the child’s life. Are there family disruptions that destabilise this routine?  If possible, keep life consistent and predictable throughout the school term. Ensure you inform your child well about any changes.

Remember that your child is living through the pandemic. Their longer-term memories will be very much about how we felt and how we managed ourselves. I am sure they will be looking back and reflecting on how the family operated throughout this time. Keep life a little simpler. Let school be a positive part of your life as it can be such a powerful influence at this time for your child. Schools are stable environments where reliable and trusting people deliver learning. It is a place of friendship and comfort for your child. Embrace it with them.