Dealing with a child’s fears
Here are some parenting suggestions to help children work through and potentially overcome their fears.
Read More8 quick tips to keep the mood positive in these tricky times
With the lockdown yet again comes some very low, unsettling feelings for some families. Here are some quick tips to keep a positive momentum happening at home in the long days.
Be positive. Talk to your child about the life-saving measures of lockdown including the fact that our government is putting our safety ahead of all other matters. This is an important part of a humane society. Try to keep the political discussion out of it.
Talk about the amazing speed of vaccine development. It has happened so quickly and very skilled scientists are working around the clock to improve our health and to find solutions quickly.
Talk about contact tracing and how measures are put in place to locate people exposed to the virus. The organisation in this exercise is immense.
Keep the work online in proportion to the day’s events. Too much online school activities can make for being alone and unhappy. It is hard to feel successful while working online with school activities. Build in sport or some other recreation and spontaneous laughter during the day. After all, this is a quality time to be with the family, where there is the least interference.
Give your child updated information, age-appropriate of course. With all the negative and unsettling news, children need the truth about the state of the coronavirus outbreak.
Keep them away from unsettling newspapers that focus on dramatic headlines that are questionable in truth. This is not a time for whipping up more anxiety.
Build a few happy, surprise treats into the day. A little bit of extra sugar won’t hurt but can lift the spirits across the days. We are in unique times and we just need to be creative in the way we engage with our family. We need to be more flexible and use our initiative to break the tension that builds.
Whilst I am always arguing about monitoring the use of technology in the hands of children, now is an important time for them to be in touch with their friends. Talking to friendship groups is comforting and reassuring for children.
Finally, keep in mind that your children will look back on these extreme times and appreciate how you managed their journey through the pandemic and most especially, the lockdowns etc. Being present for them, conscious to keep a happy momentum, informing accurately and capitalising on quality time together is the answer to managing these difficult times.
“Laughter is a tranquiller with no side effects.”
Let’s take away the fear and replace it with positive thinking.
At the moment we see and feel so much fear in the community. It is quite impossible that our children are exempt from feeling the overall anxiety in the air. Also, if your children are in supermarkets, they see the emptiness on shelves and see the anxiety on people’s faces as we all struggle to interpret the great loss and the feeling of deprivation. It is quite a grief for all to see such emptiness.
Let’s take away the fear and replace it with positive thinking.
Children will retain such information and even possibly think about those empty shelves later. It doesn’t take much for their fear to rise when they see the adults in their life, feeling the pain. So, what to do?
Let’s simply be positive around our children. Tell them that all the precautions are for the good of society. How lucky we are to live in a society where we can arrange things to get better. We have many smart people in our world helping with this situation.
Let them know how clever people in our Government have put in restrictions to stop the problem from spreading and that is a positive. This is not a time to be politically commenting on politicians. It is about teaching our children that we are all pulling together.
Let them know that the sooner we stop big gatherings, the sooner we can return to them safely but we must be patient.
Given that you may have more family time together be optimistic and plan doing more activities in the house. Is there some project you can work on together?
Of course, games, puzzles, reading etc. are wonderful entertainers. How about setting up a drawing corner. Suggest they draw happy activities that they like to do.
Sing together. This is a great fun way to work through the situation. How about working out a rap song that is all about washing your hands well. Perhaps you can write songs that are all about finding safe ways to be during the difficult times.
This is a great time to revive the backyard. How often can you go out together and play?
Talk about the wonderful skill of our professionals such as doctors, immunologists, etc. who are working on the major problem of coronavirus. Imagine that in a few months they will have controlled the spread!
Talk about how wonderful it is that every country in the world is acting positively to stop the problem. This is global action at work.
Avoid exposing your children to conversations that highlight the negative and focus on the anxiety. Incidental chats can be quite damaging.
On the other hand, incidental chats about how you noticed people being helpful etc, provides ongoing reassurance.
Talk about the people you know who show clever ways to cope during this time.
Given that there is a prolonged wait where children will not be active through their sports activities etc, ensure that as a family you are actively engaged. Bike rides and scooters in the park, ball games and picnics in grassy spots could be fun to do as a family. The more active, the better mental health for the whole family.
Cook together. This is a great time for children to indulge themselves in baking at home.
Listen to music and dance together. Music is such a positive influence on everyone feeling better.
Watch some feel-good movies as a family. This is always a comforting time for children.
Avoid having television or radio on that is talking about the coronavirus. Young children only pick up on the negativism and do not grasp the whole content of the conversation. They would certainly feel the negative tone of the conversation.
The focus is on being busy and keeping positive. This will reduce the child’s worry that all is doom and gloom. For the child, an important factor is their parent’s feeling of being secure. This is not a time for uptight parents who focus on too much control.
The children will rely on your positivism to reassure them that in the end, all will be well.
What you want them to remember after it is over is not the fear but rather the great initiatives taken to solve the problem both at home and on the global stage. That is what should linger in their minds.
Being positive is not about denying the truth. It is, in fact, teaching your child that every situation can be seen from many angles. It is giving your child skills in managing anxiety for themselves.
Who knows by building more optimism in the family, it lingers longer and becomes a family trait?
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”