Think about the value of laughter during lockdown

Victor Borge said,

‘Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.’

Here we are not talking about social distancing. We are talking about mental distancing. Let’s create the shortest distance possible!

When we consciously choose to keep laughter alive in our life, we naturally feel better and connect better to those around. People are attracted to warm and cheerful people. Laughter is life giving.

We know, through research, that laughter is a stress buster and at the moment, hard though it maybe, what we all need is a good injection of laughter in our life.

Children are naturally drawn to being cheerful and happy. So, for them, being in a family that laughs together is a natural and healthy way to live.

If laughter can keep us together, then it makes sense that in these tricky times, we use laughter as therapy. Think about the suggestions that follow to keep the laughter alive in your family.

• Use a joke book and each night have some family fun reading out jokes.

• Play a joke on your child during the day and surprise them with some laughter.

• Watch a funny movie together that brings laughter and cheerful attitudes to the house.

• Physical exercise can bring laughter into the home as everyone chats about the fun activities they did on their bike, skateboard etc.

• Write little cheery notes and put them under your child’s pillow. This is a wonderful surprise element.

• If you have a pet such as a dog at home family fun together can bring laughter to the house.

• Play family games. There are many board games etc. that bring laughter and fun to everyone.

• Do you have any funny family stories to tell the children? This can often be an entertaining time for all.

Laughter is cheap. It doesn’t cost anything and if we simply look around our home, I am sure you will find reasons to smile and laugh.

• Become a witty, fun person around your children. You will get so much positive feedback from engaging with your children in this way. You feel more fully alive when laughing with your children.

• Be imaginative. Draw, dance, skip with your children. It brings out the laughter and creativity of the family. This may mean being a little different from the usual person you are, but we are in times where we need to stretch our imagination and accept challenges.

• Take care to limit the negative talk. People generally feel better and happier when less negative discussion is around.

• Be a little more tolerant when mistakes are made. Less time spent in behaviour management and more time in being happy together makes for a calmer, more cheerful family.

• Try noticing less mistakes and problems around the house. This will slow down feelings of anxiety and cheer you up.

These thoughts are all about finding different avenues in which to bring joy and laughter into the home. Every family has their own unique way of laughing and playing together. After all, happiness is a very natural state for a person in which to live. Our physical and mental health is all the better for laughter in today’s unsettling world. See it as another important immunisation against mental deterioration.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

— Charlie Chaplin

What are we teaching our children?

There is so much we are teaching our children, this is obvious. What we need to occasionally to reflect on is, the incidental things that occur that are noticed and internalised by our children. Keep in mind that we are all part of the great human condition and by this definition, we are not perfect! However, our children are very clever in picking up the incidentals and shifting moods in our behaviour. These are incidents and occasions where we may let our guard down. For some reason, our children are curious creatures when they see how imperfect we are.

I remember, as the school principal, there was a consistent way of operating and the values exposed were to be consistently displayed. Sometimes life is complicated and principals get compromised. Teachers are excellent at building strong, stable authentic relationships with their children, which generally involves a child excusing them when they slip up on occasions. In my experience, it was common for children who had strong relationships with their teachers, to be quite protective of their failures and misadventures.

As a parent, do our children notice our misdemeanours and are they watching to learn all the incidental behaviours they notice in us? The answer I fear is probably yes. They are always checking into see our legitimacy and how this affects them. Certainly, in working with children, it was clear they understood their parents very well.

Consider the following thoughts to help us live with this subtle pressure from our children:

What incidental things that occur are noticed and internalised by our children?

• Accept and acknowledge with your child that you are not perfect. In fact, what is ‘perfect’?

• Be natural in apologising when you think it necessary. Children really appreciate that you understand that you make mistakes just like them.

• Be relaxed in talking to them and when putting down important rules etc. in the home, acknowledge that you just try your best at all times.

• Talk about how you can sometimes get tired and let your guard down. This is natural and normal.

• Have a laugh with your child when you find yourself not living up to your expectations. This is about showing your human side. We all make mistakes.

• Be aware that small ears listen and love to learn more about you in discreet ways. This may mean compromising some feelings at time to give the right message to your child.

• Watch the language you use around the child especially when talking about others. Much is revealed to a child when we express our opinions about others.

A child loves the parent who is easy to read and comfortable in how they express themselves. They enjoy the journey of learning more about their parents often through different unexpected experiences. This is often the test of being true to ourselves.

“A sensitive child sees the world through the lens of the child.”

—   Unique Teaching Resources