Your child learns so much from you, including how to see the world in a positive light. Discover why it's crucial to maintain a positive disposition around your child with insights from Gail Smith.
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Read MoreIt is just so tricky thinking up creative ways to have fun and engage with the children in lockdown. I was recently thinking of a very successful teacher who had the most wonderful disposition and skill in turning doom and gloom in the classroom into something happy and positive.
No mean feat when you have unsettled children. Perhaps her idea may have some application in your home. Call it a “negative stop buster” to clear the cobwebs and change thinking in a negative way.
Her method of improving attitude was to declare the day a P Day. This meant that the children could only talk positive talk and discuss things that were making them happy. For example:
Today the sun has come out.
I am really looking forward to lunch.
I finished my on-line work. Yeh!!
I will wear this t-shirt. I like all the colours.
I love riding my bike.
I am looking forward to some desert.
Thanks for lending me your pencil.
When we play Lego together I have so much fun.
What this teacher was doing was conditioning the children into seeing the small things in the day as positive. It is quite amazing how it can redirect your mood. In the junior classes, children would record how many times they talked about positive thoughts. It became quite a fun activity.
It was a game, but one in which the children turned their thinking to discovering the positive in simple things. This naturally created positive feelings that can take away the unsettling mood.
Perhaps you could have a “P” hour once a day as a whole day could be just too much to coordinate.
This game is simply a tool in redirecting negative thoughts into positive. You may find it a useful strategy in the home setting during these repeated days of more of the same.
No surprises, this teacher was well loved by the children. Positive people always attract others through their warm and happy disposition.
“A positive mindset brings positive things.”
At the moment we see and feel so much fear in the community. It is quite impossible that our children are exempt from feeling the overall anxiety in the air. Also, if your children are in supermarkets, they see the emptiness on shelves and see the anxiety on people’s faces as we all struggle to interpret the great loss and the feeling of deprivation. It is quite a grief for all to see such emptiness.
Let’s take away the fear and replace it with positive thinking.
Children will retain such information and even possibly think about those empty shelves later. It doesn’t take much for their fear to rise when they see the adults in their life, feeling the pain. So, what to do?
Let’s simply be positive around our children. Tell them that all the precautions are for the good of society. How lucky we are to live in a society where we can arrange things to get better. We have many smart people in our world helping with this situation.
Let them know how clever people in our Government have put in restrictions to stop the problem from spreading and that is a positive. This is not a time to be politically commenting on politicians. It is about teaching our children that we are all pulling together.
Let them know that the sooner we stop big gatherings, the sooner we can return to them safely but we must be patient.
Given that you may have more family time together be optimistic and plan doing more activities in the house. Is there some project you can work on together?
Of course, games, puzzles, reading etc. are wonderful entertainers. How about setting up a drawing corner. Suggest they draw happy activities that they like to do.
Sing together. This is a great fun way to work through the situation. How about working out a rap song that is all about washing your hands well. Perhaps you can write songs that are all about finding safe ways to be during the difficult times.
This is a great time to revive the backyard. How often can you go out together and play?
Talk about the wonderful skill of our professionals such as doctors, immunologists, etc. who are working on the major problem of coronavirus. Imagine that in a few months they will have controlled the spread!
Talk about how wonderful it is that every country in the world is acting positively to stop the problem. This is global action at work.
Avoid exposing your children to conversations that highlight the negative and focus on the anxiety. Incidental chats can be quite damaging.
On the other hand, incidental chats about how you noticed people being helpful etc, provides ongoing reassurance.
Talk about the people you know who show clever ways to cope during this time.
Given that there is a prolonged wait where children will not be active through their sports activities etc, ensure that as a family you are actively engaged. Bike rides and scooters in the park, ball games and picnics in grassy spots could be fun to do as a family. The more active, the better mental health for the whole family.
Cook together. This is a great time for children to indulge themselves in baking at home.
Listen to music and dance together. Music is such a positive influence on everyone feeling better.
Watch some feel-good movies as a family. This is always a comforting time for children.
Avoid having television or radio on that is talking about the coronavirus. Young children only pick up on the negativism and do not grasp the whole content of the conversation. They would certainly feel the negative tone of the conversation.
The focus is on being busy and keeping positive. This will reduce the child’s worry that all is doom and gloom. For the child, an important factor is their parent’s feeling of being secure. This is not a time for uptight parents who focus on too much control.
The children will rely on your positivism to reassure them that in the end, all will be well.
What you want them to remember after it is over is not the fear but rather the great initiatives taken to solve the problem both at home and on the global stage. That is what should linger in their minds.
Being positive is not about denying the truth. It is, in fact, teaching your child that every situation can be seen from many angles. It is giving your child skills in managing anxiety for themselves.
Who knows by building more optimism in the family, it lingers longer and becomes a family trait?
“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”