Understanding how boys learn

This is such a big topic and, in some circles, quite controversial. Basing it on my observations and speaking to teachers over the years there is a clear difference in how our boys learn. Some schools do considerable professional development in this area to guide their work in the classroom.  However, experienced teachers will tell you that how a boy learns in most cases is very different from a girl.

When parents brought in their pre-schooler to talk about starting school, it was evident at that early age that children had a clear sense of who they were and what they preferred to play with. No surprise the girls wanted to draw and the boys gravitated around building blocks. There are arguments that suggest that at a very early age, preconceptual ideas of gender are formed and both boys and girls will have already learnt about society’s expectations on them. This article is not to discuss the bias that is placed on gender formation, but rather to remind boys parents that there are certainly important factors to consider if a boy is to learn well. These ideas are not exclusive to boys alone but are my observations of boys learning over many years.

“I realise that despite my tiredness, my son has the most fun when I do things his way…
Wild and loud. Go Big or go home.”

— PowerfulMothering.com

 Consider:

• A boy will tune into learning if it attracts them. Providing lessons that are highly stimulating and interactive is a winner with the boys. This tells us that providing boys with short sharp experiences often is attractive to their learning style.

• Boys can distract easily if disinterested. Once distracted, they are hard to bring back to the core of the lesson. Teachers have the challenge of providing short sharp focus time to keep them engaged.  Understandably at home when you lose their attention, it can be quite a task to bring them back to focus. Perhaps try not getting angry too quickly, but rather understand that it is the nature of boys.

• Intermittent sport across the school day is a great way of keeping the brain active and the boys engaged. I always found longer lessons were not as successful for the younger boys. In lockdown I am sure families found less pressure after short bursts of playing outside.

• In many cases boys can find learning to read, a harder process to learn. This can also apply to writing. Teachers have to think carefully when encouraging boys to write. The more abstract the concept, the less absorbed they become. When younger, they need very tangible experiences with writing especially. Reading also needs careful selection of books, as often fantasy is not their interest. Stories that are concrete and tangible are more their choice.

• Keeping the boys engaged in lessons is the skill of the teacher. Care is always taken to be inclusive and tolerant of different ways that a boy can present themselves in a classroom.

• Providing activities that are tangible and concrete can really stimulate a boy’s learning. This is where problem solving in a class can be a highly sort out activity. Boys can very competitive and sport, games etc. is an excellent way to keep their energy levels satisfied.

• Sometimes boys take a little longer to form their letter formation well and to write uninhibited. Slow, gentle encouragement is important here. Giving boys small objects to play with helps with motor skills. Of course, using Lego is a well-chosen activity for boys who like to build, create, design and to see something tangibly grow in their hands.

• As a parent, try not to jump in too quickly to correct and discipline boys. They need time to process and you need to be sure they understand what you have to say. Perhaps there is some truth in that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

• Boys value fairness and justice. They are quick to temper but from my observations they will forgive and move on with more speed than most girls. Mateship, connection and loyalty to friends plays a very big part in their life.

• The above simply highlights some features of boys which I have observed over the years. Parenting does require really understanding your child, being tolerant when necessary and encouraging where possible. As a role model, boys need to experience the full spectrum of positive values (love, compassion, empathy in parenting etc). Never underestimate the need to be gentle and fair in working with your son.

A great memory I keep is that one day two boys were sent to me for discipline. When I started talking to the boys they immediately wanted a negotiation.

“Look Mrs Smith it’s like this. We have made up now and we are friends. There is a footy game outside and we want to join in now. Can we do our consequences tomorrow?”

No surprises there were no consequences!

Is your child actively engaged in the classroom?

I can remember for years watching eager parents look through the school windows to observe how their children were performing in class. It’s natural to be interested in how your child operates and learns in a classroom. After all, they are dealing with peers in a slightly challenging way.  What we need to understand is that all children will respond differently in a classroom setting. Some are talkers and hand wavers for every question. Some just ask questions to be noticed. We call them attention seekers. Others will sit back quietly and observe the others. Some children will disengage quickly and learn to shut down. Often first children in my experience are more cautious, while the second child, more boisterous and interested in engagement with the class and teacher. And so, the variance in the classroom goes on. The question is do some children interfere in the learning of others or are less noisy and engaging children missing out?

The answer is simple. It all comes down to the awareness and skill of the teacher. They understand how their children learn and recognise how each child reacts to them in the classroom. It was common professional talk amongst staff about how to deal with the shifting dynamic of children in their room.

There is no research that I am aware of, that suggests which child will learn the most effectively in a classroom. Different personalities are the order of the day. Teachers will work their class to suit the individual needs of the child. They recognise that some children will need encouragement and guidance in communicating their needs to the teacher. Others need guidance in learning how to control their questioning out loud, so that everyone gets a fair share. I believe that being a quiet or loud child in the classroom does not necessarily mean that they will learn better. Children process and learn in different ways. Also, their relationship with the teacher will have an impact on their confidence in expressing themselves.

Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom.

I suggest:

• Talk to your teacher about how your child responds in class.

• Ask the teacher are there any encouragements I can give them to operate more effectively. Is their style of learning effective?

• Notice how your child operates in the family. Are they quiet, do they listen well or are they the loud and dominant one? I do believe that the order of the child in the family does have an impact on how they respond in a classroom.  You certainly see this in your own family.

• Accept that all children will learn differently and your child, over time, will develop their own style of learning. If there are concerns the teacher will inform you.

• Allow your child to be themselves. There is some truth I believe in …. what you see is what you get. A louder more vocal child enjoys having a strong presence. Quieter children learn from observing others and reflecting on how they will respond.

• The only concern worth noting is when a child perhaps through shyness or lack of confidence is not questioning enough and is not exploring their learning. This needs a chat to the teacher as we know that developing an inquiring mind is how children learn. We do not want them shutting down disengaging from learning. If they close down this can become a habit that is hard to break. When you hear from your child, “I am bored’, beware! This is a sign that their learning is under threat.

Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom. It keeps developing as the child gets older. It is often affected by their success in the learning process and of course positive reinforcement by the teacher.

After building a strong relationship with children, the teacher monitors their responses to learning situations. They weave their way carefully around all children, respecting and enriching their learning style, monitoring children’s response to their teaching and planting seeds where necessary.

“Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire.”

— WB Yeats

What are we teaching our children?

There is so much we are teaching our children, this is obvious. What we need to occasionally to reflect on is, the incidental things that occur that are noticed and internalised by our children. Keep in mind that we are all part of the great human condition and by this definition, we are not perfect! However, our children are very clever in picking up the incidentals and shifting moods in our behaviour. These are incidents and occasions where we may let our guard down. For some reason, our children are curious creatures when they see how imperfect we are.

I remember, as the school principal, there was a consistent way of operating and the values exposed were to be consistently displayed. Sometimes life is complicated and principals get compromised. Teachers are excellent at building strong, stable authentic relationships with their children, which generally involves a child excusing them when they slip up on occasions. In my experience, it was common for children who had strong relationships with their teachers, to be quite protective of their failures and misadventures.

As a parent, do our children notice our misdemeanours and are they watching to learn all the incidental behaviours they notice in us? The answer I fear is probably yes. They are always checking into see our legitimacy and how this affects them. Certainly, in working with children, it was clear they understood their parents very well.

Consider the following thoughts to help us live with this subtle pressure from our children:

What incidental things that occur are noticed and internalised by our children?

• Accept and acknowledge with your child that you are not perfect. In fact, what is ‘perfect’?

• Be natural in apologising when you think it necessary. Children really appreciate that you understand that you make mistakes just like them.

• Be relaxed in talking to them and when putting down important rules etc. in the home, acknowledge that you just try your best at all times.

• Talk about how you can sometimes get tired and let your guard down. This is natural and normal.

• Have a laugh with your child when you find yourself not living up to your expectations. This is about showing your human side. We all make mistakes.

• Be aware that small ears listen and love to learn more about you in discreet ways. This may mean compromising some feelings at time to give the right message to your child.

• Watch the language you use around the child especially when talking about others. Much is revealed to a child when we express our opinions about others.

A child loves the parent who is easy to read and comfortable in how they express themselves. They enjoy the journey of learning more about their parents often through different unexpected experiences. This is often the test of being true to ourselves.

“A sensitive child sees the world through the lens of the child.”

—   Unique Teaching Resources

Giving sport a high profile

I hear the debate is raging yet again about providing adequate sport in schools for children. Now I understand it is also about the schools offering defined skills in sport and giving children a real taste of engagement and a sense of feeling active through physical activity.

I understand that schools need to provide sport across the week. It offers children so much on so many physical and social levels. Some years ago, it was mandated by the government, the amount of time that must be given to sport across the week in schools. I can certainly see the reason and respect the concepts behind all of this. However, let’s be realistic. How much can teachers offer to children, given the heightened expectations that are already placed on them. Some teachers have a natural disposition to teach sport, are passionate about it and can teach very specific skills. Not all teachers have that skill and will work to the best of their ability to provide physical exercise and sporting activities but it is not their strength.

If we want to engage our children in sport, I think parents should engage their children in a sports activity that will offer them very specific skills in one area. The argument that rages at the moment is all about getting children involved, interested and passionate about being fitter and enjoying sport as a way of life. This is where parents should take responsibility and as a family engage in sport as a way of life. For example, join a football club, tennis club, swimming team etc. Find the sport that draws your child into it with enthusiasm and a developing drive to improve their performance.

Fabulous benefits of out of school sports

By engaging in organised out of school sport your child will:

• Learn about the value of teams and how they influence the individual.

• Understand how to improve their performance. They will come to recognise in themselves improvement through effort.

• Value healthy competition. Supporting other team members is also a great skill in human compassion and empathy.

• Understand cooperation and teamship.

• Value the importance of being fit.

The list goes on and yes teachers will do their best in the limited time they have to raise the profile of sport for children. However, it will not be the same as children taking part in an organised and well-managed team sport. They will be mixing with like-minded children and enjoy their parent’s involvement. The conversations at home are enriched as you talk about the sporting experiences and joy of the challenge.

 Of course, I caution that parents should research the sporting club and be satisfied that the values are what you want for your child. Once you join the club, you the parents will so gain from meeting like-minded parents.

Sport outside school is also about long term commitment. It requires regular attendance and loyalty to the sporting activities and events. It reduces a child’s downtime at home, which can often lead to reduced hours in front of a screen and it requires good family planning across the week.

Children initially will often vacillate about what sport they wish to join and there is some perseverance needed from parents here. However, keep the longer-term goal in mind. This is about your child actively involved in a sport that builds fitness, raises their awareness and joy of physical fitness and engages them for the long haul in physical sport.

Having a developed appreciation of the value of sport only comes from personal engagement and the joy of feeling well physically.   

“The more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.”

— Pele

Nine things to think about regarding school

Enjoy a partnership with your Child’s school.

1. We are well into term two. Your child should feel settled, familiar with the class and working comfortably and steadily with the teacher. Trust between the child and the teacher should be well established by now.

2. Homework routines should be just that, routines. Teachers should only be providing homework for your child that is within reason. Check the time your child is doing homework as the later times of the day make for a difficult task.

3. Check in with the tiredness of your child. The weather is closing in, days are cold and children can be less motivated.  Try to keep up the momentum and throw in a few treats along the way.

4. Is your child well established with friendship groups? This is all about feeling capable with peers. It does not mean that everyone should have a special friend. In fact, the more inclusive the better. If your child is unsettled in this area have a chat with your teacher. Relationships with peers is important for their mental wellbeing and social growth.

5. Teachers will be writing reports and soon there will be the parent teacher chats. Talk to your child about how they are going with midyear work. Don’t let the parent teacher chat be the first time you have talked to your child about their school work. This should be an ongoing interest. The parent teacher chat should not come as a surprise to you. It should be a time of hearing reassuring words from the teacher and coming away with an understanding of where the child needs to go next in their learning.

6. Have you changed anything important in the family that the school needs to know? Often addresses, phone numbers etc. can change and the school needs current information especially with regard to emergency numbers.

7. The school is a very stable hub for your child throughout the year. Keep it in mind if you need support. Chat to the principal if you have queries or need to learn more. It is amazing what you will learn from a chat.

8. If you are the one who picks up your child after school, I advise being on time. At this stage of the year children can get tired and need reassurance. This is especially the case with the younger ones. Being on time is reassuring to them. This also applies to being on time in the morning. Children can become quite unsettled if walking into a classroom late.

9. Watch the balance between afterschool activities and the pressure of school. Check in with your child about this as sometimes afterschool activities can just tip them over the edge.

Oh, what a difference a school makes!

‘The mind once enlightened cannot become dark.’

-Thomas Paine 

Getting back to routine after lockdown

Tricky times requires creative thinking and for our children going back to school is a relief as well as creating some anxiety about yet again fitting in to school. There is no doubt the times are challenging and our children will look back on this period with some trepidation and for them, it is a new norm.

This article is a simple one. It is all about helping your child be comfortable and adjust to the “not so routine” of life and school. They are living with the ever-threatening idea of yet another lockdown and this must cause some trepidation as they attempt to go back to school and fit into the school plan.

 Consider the following thoughts.

• Be flexible. Everything is changing including the teacher’s expectations with the children. Accept that difference is part of the new norm.

• The permanency for your child is the stability of the family. Your constant presence in their life is a powerful support for them in today’s climate. Try to ensure that routines, schedules etc. are in place again. This creates some safe reassurance for the child.

• Check in with your child’s social life. Are they happily engaging with their friends or are they somewhat reticent to reignite friendships? Chat to your child’s teacher if this is a problem. Children can easily feel unsettled with friends after such intermittent breaks from school.

• Ensure your child has a balanced amount of sleep and recreation across the week. They certainly need to set up a balance that will be consistent across the week and feel reassured that the routine will be part of their norm.

• School holidays will soon be starting. Given the isolated, online work they have just had, start planning this time with your child. This should be a productive time and one that gives your child joy, physical opportunities, some adventure and quiet time.

• Keep the conversation flowing with regard to all the progress being made with vaccines etc. Our children need to understand the times they are living through. Their understanding may carry with it some anxiety but it should be filled with accurate knowledge on the management of the virus. Of course, the information to be given must be age-appropriate.

Finally, children thrive on being happy and having a sense of hope and optimism in their world. For this to be achievable they rely on you, the parent. Keeping the focus for the future on a positive note is such an important part of the parent’s work in today’s climate where unpredictability thrives and their foundational years can be shaken. You are the rock upon which the foundation is built.

“It’s not simply the learning..
It’s the stability. Stability is essential in the lives of children.”

—   Pedro Noguera

So, what’s in a school?

This is certainly is a challenging question. I would be the first to say dig deep and you will find many opportunities for developing yourself and growing familiar with your child’s school. Being around a school is a vibrant and lively feeling. These school years with your child are precious and will not return once complete. Therefore, embrace them.

My recommendation is for you to research what the school offers and how you can tap into its life or perhaps add to its life.

The following are considerations about what’s in a school:

How involved are you able to be at your child’s school?

• Explore the library and learn from the librarian what and how you can access books for the family. Often school libraries have specific sections for parents and they often hold a wonderful feelings section to support children going through emotional issues. Also, if you have time, you could always help in the library. There is so much to learn about books in this environment.

• Does your school offer parenting nights? Schools often look to supporting family education. This can be through a one-night session or a series of nights.

• Read the school newsletter regularly to get all the updates in the life of the school. This certainly gives you a broad picture of what is happening across the school.

• In my time as Principal, many parents in midlife looking for a career change, assisted in classrooms and took up the teacher aid course. Teaching is a great career to take up after having had other work and life experiences.

• Simply helping in the classroom gives you a chance to learn about how reading, writing etc., is taught. You can pick up great teaching strategies from just being around teachers. It is also fascinating to watch how teachers manage and relate to the children with such control.

• If you enjoy sports, often being involved in the sports programs at the school is a wonderful way to commit to a valuable part of the curriculum.

• Schoolyards are great places to build friendships with other families. Many lifelong friends have been made from meeting families in the school setting.

• When the school offers social days such as Book Week, where there are dress-ups, consider joining in and sharing in the fun with your child.

• Do you have special talents that you can offer the school? For example, can you paint, teach cooking or crafts? Schools love to hear from talented parents who contribute their skills to teaching children.

• Check-in with your child’s teacher to see if they need assistance. Your presence in your child’s classroom is a buzz for your child.

These thoughts are to explore and invite you into the life of the school. Your child benefits from your engagement and school become a natural extension to their home life.

“Behind the child that makes the most progress is an actively involved parent.”

— love quotes

Another lockdown and more home schooling. How important is it?

Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and look at this lockdown week. Schools are busy writing reports, and summating work etc. Their focus is very much on these midyear reports for which teachers are so accountable. Given their work overload, I would be surprised if work set online would have high expectations as the teachers have limited time to plan for these online activities.

This week I would be encouraging the children to fulfil the teacher’s requirements, but also concentrate more on keeping up the reading and working on progressive projects etc.

This is also a week for once again capitalising on time together. In the early days of winter just get outside, bike ride, walk, jog, play games etc; that will take the focus of yet another lockdown away from everyone’s minds.

 We certainly can get caught up with negative rhetoric that is around but by focussing on some positive experiences together as a family especially engaging in happy physical activities, the time will slip away.

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

Consider:

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

• Keeping up to date with the current situation. Discuss this with your child and make the conversation age-appropriate. Keep the information simple to grasp and invite your child to ask questions that may be troubling them.

• Many newspapers present very distressing news items. It seems they are all about the blame game and sadly remind us of the worst of the situation. Be careful about what printed material is in front of children. Disturbing headings can build anxiety. Keep to the facts. Control the accurate facts around the children.

• Talk about the incredible and speedy breakthroughs we are having with vaccines. This is a wonderful conversation about how science is such a gift to humanity. It is also showing the amazing ingenuity of the human race. This is a great time to learn about other scientists and their amazing breakthroughs in science.

• Keep an eye out for the information sent home from school. The staff are struggling through these difficult times and will want to offer the best to their children. Do not compare how different schools are responding to the lockdown. All school environments have their own approach to working through issues and especially now they need your support and reassurance.

• Keep in mind that we are living through very different times and our societal responses to the changing virus are never planned in and for the long term. It is all about short term responses to changing virus conditions.

We are teaching our children to be resilient and tolerant of change that will help everyone. This is a new phenomenon and it is all about empathy and the Common Good. This is a great time to talk about the importance of the Common Good. This is a big challenge for those that focus on the Me generation.

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”

— Helen Keller

A few thoughts on school in the month of May

Hopefully, a routine is now well underway. Children should be very familiar with their teacher and class. Homework processes should be well established and weekly patterns with sport afterschool etc. well entrenched in the family’s life.

There are always changes and challenges in a classroom, not the least of which is the social exchanges that happen between children. This is worth checking in on from time to time. Talk to your child and when in doubt the teacher will have the wisdom and knowledge to know about any incident.

Here are some thoughts to keep the school and home life churning away comfortably in partnership:

• Frequently talk to your child about the progress of school. Tuning into school discussion is a way of showing ongoing interest even in the ordinary times.

• Keep an eye on homework patterns and remember if the homework is a struggle talk to the teacher, do not resolve it at home. There are many theories about the value or not of homework. It certainly should not be causing family disruption when the child isn’t coping. It is not the role of the parent to take over homework. The ownership belongs to the school.

• Attend school information nights or class visits when invited. It is so important to keep up the momentum with your child, that school is important and the information they give out is valuable. Your presence at the school means so much to your child.

• Keep an eye on the sleep your child gets during school weeks. As the term progresses, winter creeps in, children can be prone to sickness and fatigue.

• Is your child coping with the amount of afterschool activities? This should be looked at in light of their capacity in coping with school, homework etc. More activities do not make for a richer experience. It is all about finding the right balance.

• Talk about your child’s friends. Be interested in them. It is most important to a child that their friendships are valued by the family. They rely so much on them for social and emotional support. Your approval adds to their sense of satisfaction.

• Read the school newsletter around the family. This is an excellent way to keep in touch and discuss with your child the various aspects of the life of the school.

• Use your fridge as a way of talking about school. Put notices on the fridge, refer to them often.

• Younger students, especially those in the foundation years get school fatigue after a few weeks at school during the term. Keep an eye on this and certainly, keep them home if they need a small break. Best that they are at school happy and learning rather than developing a sense of sadness and tiredness.  Of course, negotiation with your teacher is most important here.

During the school term, it is important to ensure that the life of the school which is such a focus for your child is given high priority in the family.  It should not be competing with family demands. This is comforting to your child when they feel that what happens in the day does not stay in the day, it can be discussed happily at night. We want our children to sense a strong interconnection between school and home. They need to see that the learning and life experiences they gain at school which are wide and variable have a real place in the life of the family.

“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.”

— Jane D Hull

Being learner is a lifelong exercise

Do you enjoy being exposed to new information? Do you show your child all the new things you have learnt over the day? Are you excited about new information that comes your way?

The more we show our children that learning is ongoing and that it is a life long journey, the more they will engage with new experiences, be less fearful of new concepts and be driven to learn.

The good news about living in a technologically driven world is that children are exposed to new information constantly and whilst this comes with its own set of problems, we cannot bemoan the fact that they can access so much information in a heartbeat. The trick here is to establish how useful the information is to their learning. This is all about learning to be discerning with information.

This blog is simply about encouraging your child to see learning as a wonderful life-giving experience. It is not just a five hour a day, classroom experience.

This article is also about encouraging your child to read books, magazines, use internet to gather information etc. There are many sources of learning that involve listening, as well as reading. Developing an insatiable appetite for learning is what it is all about.

If you, the parent demonstrate that you are a learner and enjoy the experience of gathering and reflecting on new information, this will impact on your child’s perception of what learning is all about.

Learning is more than 5 hours in the classroom

 Consider what you teach your child:

• Is your home scattered with books, sources of information and is it an environment where conversation and debate are present and encouraged?

• Children begin to see learning as a mental habit, something done regularly so that knowledge is built upon. Once starved of new information, the child feels vulnerable.

• They grow to look forward to learning new concepts. They see it as a natural process to simply keep learning.

• Your child once hungry for knowledge has become a lifelong learner. They see and crave new knowledge.  They come to appreciate that knowledge is power.

• You teach them that having an inquiring mind exposes you to so much learning. You are the mentor in developing their thirst for learning.

• Your constant inquiry, asking questions, probing ideas etc. will demonstrate to your child that being inquisitive is healthy. You encourage its presence in your children.

Children who love gaining knowledge feel strengthened by the experience and are not easily disengaged. The knowledge they gain builds mental stamina and gives them credibility amongst peers. Their emotional intelligence is accelerated as they feel more in touch with mentally being in control.

“Once you stop learning, you start dying.”

— Albert Einstein

Let’s look at Naplan or is it Noplan?

The purpose of the Naplan testing was always about the Government gaining data that they could use in planning for educational improvements. Whilst there have been many theories and beliefs in the latter years about why Naplan, the question now is whether it has relevance in helping your child in their learning?

There are many questionable factors that have made the overall data to some degree invalid and worthless. For example, some schools may teach to the test, thereby disadvantaging those children who are not specifically working towards the test. Of course, the question is also whether more independent schools will approach the test with rigour to ensure the best results for the school. Also, what if your child was unwell the day of the test. How relevant are the results?

What are your thoughts on Naplan?

Consider that teachers will teach the curriculum in different ways across a year. What if they have not as yet taught what was on the test? Does this discriminate against your child?

Does my child feel the anxiety of these very formal tests at a young age?

Certainly, in my experience, there was a good percentage of children who felt the pressure. They would be anxious about their results being interpreted in the light of everyone else in the state. Also, consider the disruption to teaching and to teachers as they prepare and organise the children to sit the tests. Do the test results reflect their teaching? And so, the general concerns go on.

 A big factor in this discussion is that if this is about the results of the individual child, we need to remember that teachers are testing constantly. It is a normal part of their work. They already have a collection of data in a range of areas that reflect the child’s progress. Therefore, does the Naplan guide their teaching? I believe not!

In today’s world of increasing anxiety in children, not the least of which has been the pandemic disruptions and related worries, why do we need a standardised test? Simply ask your child’s teacher to show their results which are cumulative, given under less stressful conditions and a normal part of a teacher’s week. The teachers know your child. A standardised test does not tell you much about your child.

I encourage the debate about the relevance of Naplan and recognise that the best evaluation of your child’s progress comes directly from the classroom teacher.

 After all, we do not want:

• Increased anxiety in our children about their performance in a standardised test.

• Developing competition between schools.

• The building up of pressure in teachers and compromising how they teach to suit a test.

Educating children is a broad and complex issue. It should be built around developing their strengths and not dotting in bold their weaknesses. How can we educate if we are constrained to such limitations as a standardised test?

“Whatever an education is, it should make you a unique individual not a conformist.”

— -John Taylor Gatto

Keep the start of the year on a positive note

What a busy time for all as you prepare to pack away the Summer fun holiday items and get ready for the regularity of school. We can all get a little overwhelmed and irritable about getting back to routine especially given the unease of last year.

Your child will be mentally getting ready for school challenges and of course, will have in mind the journey of 2020. My advice here is to not get caught up in making the start of the school year too perfect. Let the child gently ease into the school and discover along the way what their new environment will offer. There may be school rules and discussion about hygiene etc. Your child needs to understand what the new norm is in the school and they will begin to adopt to changes and shifts in how the school may be operating.

Here are some thoughts about how to keep the beginning of the school year upbeat and optimistic.

• Talk positively about the new year. Discuss as a family something that you are all looking forward to in the near future. This could be some event that wasn’t possible last year.

• Listen well to what the child tells you about school and if there are changes talk about how you applaud the school’s effort to keep everyone safe and healthy.

• Check in with your child to make sure anxious gossip about health matters regarding CO-VID 19 is accurate and that your child is not anxious about what they hear around the schoolyard.

• If your child is not in prep and you are not in the habit of dropping them off, I recommend being with them before school a few times. This gives them extra reassurance and that reassurance helps at this stage of the year. Remember that there are still some residual anxieties around from last year.

• If your child is a little anxious about full-time school and missing you, show them on a calendar the school holidays and that there will be plenty of occasions to just be family once again. 

• For some children being home for so long last year was a comfort and they will need time to adjust to a regular school schedule. A day working online at home does not equate to a full active day at school.

• Talk positively about their friendships and encourage your child to be friendly to all class members. Take an in inclusive approach to the matter of friends. Often at the beginning of the year it can be divide and conquer with regard to establishing friendships in the class. The less confident child may take more time to establish friends or perhaps lose confidence in re-establishing themselves with friends.

• A great tool at this stage of the year is to set up a chat box in your child’s room. If they have anything, they want to talk about they can include this in the box. At special times probably bedtime together you can talk about these issues.

• If you are busy working, school can slip easily from your thoughts. Check their bags each night for notes and of course emails from teachers. An occasional email to the teacher to check-in is also a good idea.

 Above all, keep the term optimistic and affirm your child’s steady progress into the life of the school in 2021.

“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set. It is behaviour.”

— Larry Elder

That strange sense of finishing school

Children will be feeling that strange sense of leaving school, disengaging with friends and getting mentally ready for Christmas and the New Year.

It seems such a rush. After all they have only been at school for such a short recovery time. However, this has been 2020 and for all in the family, change and shifting normalities are the norm.

What to do about it:

• Accept it! You can’t change what has been an extraordinary year for everyone. It still comes with its challenges of wearing masks in shops etc. Embrace it with the children.

• Keep the family talk up about the year and allow the children to freely talk about their challenges across that time. Do this in a positive, reassuring way.

• Understand that behaviour may be different with your child and tolerate a little more when it comes to changed behaviour.

• Keep up the play and allow your child to enjoy free time. Remember that COVID-19 normal was so different and the child is adjusting to getting back to routine. Perhaps with some trepidation of that change.

• Letting go of friends for the year can cause some distress as in some cases. Children may not have had great experiences when they briefly returned to school. Remember that after a whole year of school, children are in and out of friendships and build solid relationships. For some this takes lots of reassurance and time.

• Christmas should be a wonderful time just to gather and offer nurture and support to the children and the whole family. It may be a time of reconnection with more people for the first time. A time to heal and a time to rest from anxious 2020.

• As the child thinks and plans for Christmas and the New Year, it is a time when you can just talk about the growth and changes you have seen in your child over the year. Perhaps you have noticed their growing patience with younger siblings or their growing interest in cooking. Talk about the skills that have acquired in those difficult times. Focus on the skills and little successes your child has made during the lockdown. Talk about how you may have learnt more about yourself.

Whist this whole year has had its ups and downs it is still a rich opportunity to highlight the initiatives and growth you have seen in your child. Make the most of it. Turn it into an amazing family journey. Oh what an adventure!

                  “A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”

Ten general thoughts about school life

1.    Make it inclusive. Ensure school is seen as an important factor in your family. It should not sit as an added extra but be seen as an integral part of family life across the year. Talk often about school as a family. Discuss the activities and events that are present in the life of the school.

2.    If you become more actively engaged with school activities you will have more understanding of the internal structure of the school. This brings home and school much closer together. It puts your child at ease. They are proud to have the presence of their parents in their school environment.

3.     Invite your child to read newsletters to you and to talk about forthcoming events.

4.    Ensure you have a presence in the school. Playgrounds are great places to chat with other families and talk about the events at school.

5.    Consider the number of hours per day a child spends at school. This cannot be dismissed at the end of the day if the child is keen to talk about school. Let it all flow.

6.    Ask yourself what can I learn as apparent from the school? If you keep your focus on what is happening you will be amazed at the learning you gain.

7.    As your child connects to the school, you will also discover new networks of parents who often become great friends over the years. Afterall you are sharing a journey together with these families.

8.    School life for your child may bring back nostalgic memories of your time at school both positive and negative. Take care to keep in mind that this is your child’s journey in a different era and will present different challenges and opportunities that should not be clouded by your own memories.

9.    Children will come home influenced by so many varied opinions and attitudes. They will challenge us as we may hear them expressing views that are contradictory to our own. A school must be open to differences and will educate inviting your child to consider optional points of view. We need to be ready for this. It may challenge us to discuss other values, beliefs etc. with our child.

10.  Make your home a space where the influences of school are present. For example, display children’s work on fridges, leave school newsletters around the home, ensure the child has a comfortable space to do homework etc. Leave school notes visible to read for all. School is a definite way of life and the more the child can move comfortably between home and school, the easier the process for all.

Ten thoughts about school life

Thirteen myths about schools

1. Schools are very closed in the way they operate

No! When your child starts school, the environment needs to be welcoming, friendly and inclusive. Schools recognise that without the support and encouragement of parents their work will not be effective. Schools understand that for a child to feel connected and in a safe learning environment they need to be working in partnership with the parents. Children become very unsettled if there is no harmony between school and home.

2. Schools all work in the same way with the learning process

No! It is true that schools are required to follow the National Curriculum. However, how they interpret the curriculum and how they work in teams planning can be quite different from school to school. Also, there may be set policies in schools on how certain curriculum areas are taught. Generally, most schools try to be consistent in how they teach and much professional development goes into their work and planning techniques. If you need clarification, ask the school about what pedagogy they use and how they follow the curriculum. Of course, schools will offer curriculum nights for you to learn about what happens in the classroom. These are highly valuable to attend

Myths v’s Facts about Schools

3. Teachers only invite parents into the classroom when necessary

Really? Parents are generally invited into the classroom on most occasions. They sometimes set up classes for parents to visit. However, you should feel welcome to sit into a class at any time.

4. Only certain parents are chosen to be part of excursions

This is not the case. Teachers recognise the importance of being inclusive and try to balance the presence of parents on excursions etc. You play such an important role in the life of the child and should be included when you feel you want to learn more about the process of learning for your child.

5. Changing schools is damaging for your child’s emotional development.

This is not generally the case. However, when you need to change schools for whatever reason ensure that your child gets involved in meeting the teachers and being active in learning about the school. Of course, there is some adjustment time in meeting new friends, feeling welcomed and adjusting to a new teacher and school culture. However, in my experience if it is handled well by the new school and family the child grows emotionally and recognises their capacity to form new friends in a new setting. This teaches resilience and reinforces to the child that they can be flexible.

6. The child’s teacher for the year is solely responsible for their learning.  

This is definitely not the case. Children learn in different ways and from different people and experiences.

The parent is actually the first educator followed by all the influences of the school, various specialist teachers and life activities. No one aspect is responsible for their growth intellectually, emotionally, socially and physically.

7. If my child does not like the teachers, it is a wasted school year.

As the above myth says learning happens in many forms. When the relationship with the teacher is a not a strong one, the child is still capable of learning and if they learn to value the qualities of the teacher, the child grows in working with different types of people. This is such a valuable skill to work and appreciate differences in teachers.

8.  It is the school’s responsibility to ensure my child has friends.

This is not the case. It is true that teachers will work on social skills and negotiate with children about matters where poor behaviour interrupts their friendships. Ultimately, it is the child who must work though the emotional journey of finding and establishing friends. The school will and can deal with inappropriate behaviour linked to breakdowns in friendships but ultimately through trial and error, success and failure, a child learns to negotiate their way through the social web of relationship with other children.

9.  If a child is finding school difficult it is the total responsibility of the school to fix the problem.

This is not the case. It certainly is the responsibility of the school to work with the child in improving their learning. Some schools offer more in this area with remedial support. Each school is different in how this issue is handled. However, encouragement from the parents, working in collaboration with the school and support at home are all necessary for the child to feel that learning is a success for them. It is best to keep in frequent touch with the teacher to learn how best your child learns and what support you can offer at home. This is a delicate area and needs both school and home working together in trust to ensure that the child’s self-esteem is intact.

10. When a school rings the parent, it is always bad news.

This is definitely not the case. Schools often ring parents about a range of matters and sometimes the teachers love to talk to the parent about how the child has improved. It is common practice for Principals to be in contact with parents for many reasons and to discuss matters that are not peculiar to their child.

I would keep a journal of parents I contacted to ensure that the school was keeping in touch with families.

Of course, calls may come to discuss school issues but they are done with understanding and genuine support for the child. They believe the more communication,the better for the child

11. If my child repeats a class they will suffer socially and the child will feel unsuccessful.

This is a delicate issue and is very much about the specific needs of the child. In my experience, children who repeat have shown considerable improvement in their capacity to learn and engage socially with their classmates. They start to gain success and feel that they are a capable learner. This is a topic very debatable in educational circles, I simply operate out of my own experiences here as an educator and school Principal of twenty-nine years.  I also appreciate that many would disagree with me in this matter. Of course, repeating a child requires careful planning and collaboration between the parents, the child and school.

12. A child in a composite class is disadvantaged in learning compared to straight class.

This is definitely not true. The quality of a child’s learning rests heavily with the skill of the teaching. A composite environment provides a broad climate of learning for the child. What happens in the classroom is the key to the learning and not the age distribution of the children. I have seen this over many years and test results prove the case.

13. There are some schools that have no bullying at all.

Bullying occurs in all schools. What is the key component to managing bullying is how the school handles situations and what programs they have in place to educate children on the issue?  Some schools have a major focus in their social and emotional learning and teachers are given considerable professional learning on how to teach children about managing bullying.

Bullying occurs as children are at various stages of emotional growth and some need assistance to understand how to socially engage with each other. Parents should monitor how their child is coping with this issue and feel comfortable to approach the school as soon as there is evidence of your child feeling unsafe. Read the schools’ anti bullying policies to gauge how they manage the issue.