“Lockdown again,” I hear you say.

I wish there was an easy response to how best to support children and families during lockdown but nonetheless, let’s have a try.

Lockdown is in itself a down word. Why not, ‘recovery time’ or ‘time out’. Whatever the name, the feeling of being in lockdown, oh sorry, ‘time out’ can be a real down feeling for all concerned in the family. The following thoughts are to remind us again of some positive thinking in this time when we feel so deprived on so many levels.

• The lockdown is to protect the lives of people. We live in a society where at all cost, people’s lives are given the highest priority. Our society values people.

• We are really needing to remember the common good. For example, by wearing masks you are looking after other people as well as yourself. By using the QR system you are providing information that can lead to early detection of the virus and fewer people spreading the disease.

• There is not much joy left in online school work but in the longer term, more than any other time we can remember, you the parent will have plenty of personal time with your child. This can have an amazing impact on building deeper, lasting relationships with your child. When working across a busy week of school etc, your quality time with your child is greatly diminished.

• Have you noticed that your conversations with your child are broader and that you are both looking for joint activities to do more than ever before? This must be continuing to build a lasting, memorable relationship with your child.

• Have you noticed new and interesting things about your child? Having more time together gives you more time to simply notice the joy of your growing child.

• Of course, as the lockdown increases and changes, as the parent, you need to give further explanations about the shifting nature of the virus. Your information here should be clear and age-appropriate.

• This is such a wonderful time to talk together about a serious matter that needs mature handling on the part of the parent. It challenges us to recognise the importance of giving accurate information and also building hope into the conversation. This is such an important time for sound parenting, as the child looks to you for mature family leadership, reassurance and support. Often much of our parenting is done on the run. With the issue of the pandemic so prevalent in our lives, how you handle it around your child will have a major impact on their understandings later in life.

• Difficult as it may be, bringing some warmth and humour into the day can make an amazing difference to everyone’s disposition.

• Keeping up with the smiles, having jokes, exercising together and talking as a family in a happy and relaxed way on a regular basis can lighten the spirit.

“We must accept finite disappointments but we must not lose infinite hope.”

— Martin Luther King Jr.

Teaching your children to be planners

Organisation is always a challenge for children as they grow. Also, as parents, some of us are less organised people in planning events etc. It’s just in our nature how we approach planning. This article tells us that planning can be learnt, which is so beneficial for children’s success in self-management. The earlier they value being a planner, the more they gain through being organised and in control of what they are doing.

Taking time to plan something well shows that a person is making choices about how they want to be in control of their actions. They come to understand that they will have more successful outcomes by being a planner. Planning well gives you a vision into what you are expecting as an outcome. To be productive is to plan well. For example, if you plan your trip well for the school holidays you feel reassured that it will be successful and that you have a clear understanding of what to expect. There are fewer unfortunate surprises.

There are developing skills in learning to plan well and children will get better at it and more accurate in their planning, reading situations better etc. as time goes. They will make mistakes but grow in confidence about sharpening the planning process.

Teachers know that planning their lessons well is the key to the quality of teaching. Without effective well-planned lessons, teachers easily lose control of the outcomes. They understand that the quality of their planning will impact a child’s learning.

Read here to help your child be a dedicated planner.

They are also keen to teach children the importance of planning and when assignments are on the agenda, teachers will spend considerable time with children discussing their plan. Sometimes pieces of work are marked on the quality of the planning demonstrated by a child.

When we teach our children to plan important events etc., they begin to value the process of planning as a way of managing their world and feel in control. They are setting the directions themselves. Once they feel the success of their planning, children will want more control of their actions.

Here are some thoughts on helping your child become a dedicated planner.

• Demonstrate to your child how you plan for important events, occasions etc. Allow them to share in some of this planning. Is planning an important part of your work life?

• There are various ways to plan and everyone develops their own style. Talk about what tools you use to help you plan. For example, are you someone who takes notes?

• Do you plan your events on a computer? Do you revisit the plan?

• What resources do you use in planning?

• When your child talks about important events that they will participate in, talk about what plans they have in place to make it successful.

• When planning we all need time for this and talk to your children about how much time they will give to the planning process.

• Talk about successes you have had from careful planning. It is also worthwhile to talk about the trial and error in planning. This is also an important process we go through before discernment.

A wise person sees planning as a natural part of putting order and structure into their world. Teaching our children, the value of planning gives them an important tool in guiding their directions with personal satisfaction and confidence.

“‘Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers.’

                             -Josef Albers”

— Quote Source

What is your cause and how do we pass it on to our children?

To some degree, this is all about ethics. It is about our ability to have beliefs and stick by them through our words and actions. Every day we are modelling our beliefs to our children. They are quick to observe how we live out those beliefs and especially if we are consistent with such beliefs… No pressure!

Their observations give them an insight into what we value and are prepared to live by. For example, if you have a particular faith that you live by, are you consistent in its practice? Do your causes play a big role in the life of the family or are they just personal causes that you live by? Either way, they will influence your child directly and indirectly.

For example, the environmental issues of the day have captured the minds and hearts of the youth. Do you live with a cause to being environmentally friendly? If so, are you living out your values and sharing them with your family? The agenda of environmental impact is a wonderful and current cause in which to work with your children.

This blog is simply to remind us that we are great influencers of our children who keenly watch what we value and how we demonstrate honesty and consistency to our causes. Little eyes are always watching and observing to see if our words and actions are aligned.

In a school setting, children are aware that causes are an important part of the world of teachers and the school community. They expect, nay, demand from their teacher’s, consistency in their actions and values. If their teacher is not consistent in their causes, such as the belief of working hard, being consistent and planning well, they lose respect and their interest in following that teacher’s directions falls away.

As a principal in working with children they knew that I had a strong cause to engage with them and listen. If my listening dropped off, so too did their interest in chatting about matters that affected them. I suddenly became much less credible in their eyes.

 When we are honest to our cause, children no matter how negative they feel to our beliefs, respect our efforts in honouring what is important to us. When they see consistency and dedication to our mission, they are more inclined to respect our efforts even though at times we fail.

Your causes will influence your child directly and indirectly.

 Consider:

• Do you have causes that are visibly displayed and lived out at home? It is valuable articulating the causes that are important to you.

• Do these causes have a big impact on how you parent?

• Reflect on the message you are giving to your child about what and how you value that cause.

• Our children need to see how ethical we are as parents. Do I clearly articulate to my child what is important to me?

• As a family discuss the many and varied global causes that are in today’s world. This gives you a chance to talk about how passionate people become with important causes. Perhaps your child has a strong interest in some cause or is developing a passion that can blossom into a full-blown cause. This sets them on a mission to learn and do more.

• If your child is demonstrating a strong interest in some cause, it is worth teasing that out and inviting your child to reflect on how to support and strengthen that developing purpose and passion. Be open to a different understanding that with each generation comes a new interpretation of what the world values.

Remember from little seeds big things grow.

“Tell me and I’ll forget. Teach me and I’ll learn.”

— Benjamin Franklin

The great potential of our children

School is such a great place for bringing out the best in children.

Each day teachers motivate, stimulate and drive children’s thirst for learning. They are experts at bringing out the best in the children as they know that within each child there is so much potential. The more they develop and ignite their gifts the greater learning will occur on so many levels.

How about home?

Do we recognise those great gifts and the potential of our children? Some potential is very obvious. If a child is good at Maths that is quite clear to everyone. However, there are many potentials that we need to bring out of our children and certainly, we need to recognise the more subtle potentiality that appears from time to time.

Here is a list upon which to reflect when highlighting and affirming potential gifts in our children:

Some of our child’s potential is very obvious. Some is not and we must recognise it and celebrate it.

• Notice how your child treats others. Do they demonstrate a well-developed style of treating others with kindness and understanding? This shows the development of compassion and sensitivity.

• Does your child have skill in engaging with all children and being inclusive in play? This is quite a gift and potentially shows leadership in a child. Great leaders are inclusive.

• Is your child well organised and likes to set goals? Such a gift shows the potential of being a well-balanced and self-disciplined person.

• Is your child a great listener to others? Such a gift leads to the potential of being an effective adult who listens with intent, patience and tolerance for other’s opinions.

• Does your child show patience in a special way? Oh, what a gift is developing here. Such potential leads to a well-balanced person, tolerant and wise.

• Is your child noticeably aware of others that are less advantaged? This shows that a child will potentially develop strong compassion and fairness in life.

These are some examples where your child can develop into a warm and caring person with substantial emotional maturity.

This article is about looking for the potential in your child to develop into a well-rounded human being. Think about all the subtle examples of your child’s behaviour to others and themselves.

To live to your full potential is all about using your gifts and greatness for the common good. Let’s encourage our children to see their potential as an opportunity to grow wisely and sensibly.

“Free the child’s potential and you will release them into the world.”

— Maria Montessori

Teaching our children to take on responsibility

This is all about giving them gradual independence to manage themselves. As they grow in independence they will certainly come across situations where they are uncomfortable, exposed to failure and feel generally unsatisfied with their efforts. These are all-natural feelings. Sometimes as parents we think by taking the responsibility away from them, they will have less pain and besides what if they make a mistake? How will they feel?

As the child grows in independence, they also grow in taking on their own responsibility for things. This teaches them to own the situation. There is much satisfaction with a child when they start to take responsibility. This gives them a sense of self-worth and a feeling of growing up as a real person. There is nothing more enriching than having that feeling of making decisions yourself.

Our role as parents is to support this gradual development and watch with joy our young one taking on responsibility.

Teachers know that in order for children to learn effectively they need to take ownership of their learning. During the school day, teachers will provide situations where children will make informed decisions on what they learn and how they learn. At parent-teacher interviews, there is nothing more satisfying for a parent than to hear that their child is a responsible learner. This has come about by gradually learning to take risks and to make responsible choices for themselves.

Teachers know that success only comes from accepting responsibility.

You will be amazed how small opportunities to take on responsibility will increase self-esteem once they are successful in showing responsibility.

Consider the following thoughts to build stamina in your child with regard to taking on responsibility:

• Consider your own life situation. Are you a person that models responsibility and ownership of situations? Talk to your child about why this has been important to you over the years.

• Do you have a list of chores at home that your child must do as part of the family routine? Could these chores grow in responsibility as the child gets older and demonstrates their growing strength in this area?

• If you are having a holiday, get your child involved in the planning and being responsible for certain duties. Perhaps they take ownership of packing their bags, researching venues etc.

• Talk about the responsibility of doing tasks at school. We know that leadership develops in children who show strong skills in being responsible. School captains are chosen from those children who demonstrate strong skills in being responsible. Teachers frequently set up monitors in classrooms on a rotation basis giving children responsibilities to manage.

• Talk about how you value your child’s growing awareness and interest in taking on responsibility. Take care not to rescue your child too soon after disaster strikes as this will only disengage your child from taking on responsibility. It also delays any further interest in being responsible.

• For those children reticent to be independent, give them small opportunities to be independent. You will be amazed how this will grow once they are successful in showing responsibility.

• We live in a world where the safety of our children is paramount and to this end, I can understand how we are cautious parents in giving them too much responsibility and independence early.

I would argue that with gradual responsibility being handed to them, they are stronger and more confident young people. They are more observant of life around them when being responsible for themselves. They confidently and intuitively show skill in navigating their way around difficult situations and are much happier in themselves being in control.

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”

— Denis Waitley

Understanding how boys learn

This is such a big topic and, in some circles, quite controversial. Basing it on my observations and speaking to teachers over the years there is a clear difference in how our boys learn. Some schools do considerable professional development in this area to guide their work in the classroom.  However, experienced teachers will tell you that how a boy learns in most cases is very different from a girl.

When parents brought in their pre-schooler to talk about starting school, it was evident at that early age that children had a clear sense of who they were and what they preferred to play with. No surprise the girls wanted to draw and the boys gravitated around building blocks. There are arguments that suggest that at a very early age, preconceptual ideas of gender are formed and both boys and girls will have already learnt about society’s expectations on them. This article is not to discuss the bias that is placed on gender formation, but rather to remind boys parents that there are certainly important factors to consider if a boy is to learn well. These ideas are not exclusive to boys alone but are my observations of boys learning over many years.

“I realise that despite my tiredness, my son has the most fun when I do things his way…
Wild and loud. Go Big or go home.”

— PowerfulMothering.com

 Consider:

• A boy will tune into learning if it attracts them. Providing lessons that are highly stimulating and interactive is a winner with the boys. This tells us that providing boys with short sharp experiences often is attractive to their learning style.

• Boys can distract easily if disinterested. Once distracted, they are hard to bring back to the core of the lesson. Teachers have the challenge of providing short sharp focus time to keep them engaged.  Understandably at home when you lose their attention, it can be quite a task to bring them back to focus. Perhaps try not getting angry too quickly, but rather understand that it is the nature of boys.

• Intermittent sport across the school day is a great way of keeping the brain active and the boys engaged. I always found longer lessons were not as successful for the younger boys. In lockdown I am sure families found less pressure after short bursts of playing outside.

• In many cases boys can find learning to read, a harder process to learn. This can also apply to writing. Teachers have to think carefully when encouraging boys to write. The more abstract the concept, the less absorbed they become. When younger, they need very tangible experiences with writing especially. Reading also needs careful selection of books, as often fantasy is not their interest. Stories that are concrete and tangible are more their choice.

• Keeping the boys engaged in lessons is the skill of the teacher. Care is always taken to be inclusive and tolerant of different ways that a boy can present themselves in a classroom.

• Providing activities that are tangible and concrete can really stimulate a boy’s learning. This is where problem solving in a class can be a highly sort out activity. Boys can very competitive and sport, games etc. is an excellent way to keep their energy levels satisfied.

• Sometimes boys take a little longer to form their letter formation well and to write uninhibited. Slow, gentle encouragement is important here. Giving boys small objects to play with helps with motor skills. Of course, using Lego is a well-chosen activity for boys who like to build, create, design and to see something tangibly grow in their hands.

• As a parent, try not to jump in too quickly to correct and discipline boys. They need time to process and you need to be sure they understand what you have to say. Perhaps there is some truth in that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

• Boys value fairness and justice. They are quick to temper but from my observations they will forgive and move on with more speed than most girls. Mateship, connection and loyalty to friends plays a very big part in their life.

• The above simply highlights some features of boys which I have observed over the years. Parenting does require really understanding your child, being tolerant when necessary and encouraging where possible. As a role model, boys need to experience the full spectrum of positive values (love, compassion, empathy in parenting etc). Never underestimate the need to be gentle and fair in working with your son.

A great memory I keep is that one day two boys were sent to me for discipline. When I started talking to the boys they immediately wanted a negotiation.

“Look Mrs Smith it’s like this. We have made up now and we are friends. There is a footy game outside and we want to join in now. Can we do our consequences tomorrow?”

No surprises there were no consequences!

The potential of your child is immense

How magnificent it is when a child is born. At this point we envisage a wonderful life together as family. We dream of all the great potential of our special child. And so, you should. What can sometimes happen, as the years progress, it can cloud those hopes when we see unpleasant behaviour and our child challenges us in ways that are surprisingly uncomfortable. We can become fatigued by the onslaught of childhood and adolescent problems, that may appear, as our bundle of joy grows older.

What is worth keeping in mind is that the great potential you dreamt about with your newborn is ever-present. They are capable of so much and with our help can achieve in so many surprising ways.  They of course must journey through the rigour of childhood, which will naturally have periods where their dreams are clouded as well.

There is nothing more exciting than sitting in a classroom and observing the enthusiasm, interest and passion children show for their work. They are like sponges and are keen to absorb all the advice and stimulus that they can access.  This is such a liberating environment for bringing out a child’s potential. Of course, here I sit as someone who does not have the job of rearing the child. My observation looks at the child from a pure perspective and here I encourage parents to similarly keep a clear vision.

Your child has so much potential. Teachers know this and in clever ways tease out their strengths and encourage new thinking in each child. Sometimes all we need to do is encourage their ideas and affirm their interests and passions no matter how different they are to your line of thinking. Potential is driven by ongoing encouragement.

A child’s developing confidence will influence their ability to express their potentiality. Our job is to help build their confidence and demonstrate faith in their attempts to be stronger, louder and more expressive overtime.

 In classrooms, teachers look for a child’s potential and work to displaying their gifts and strengths through many and varied activities. It may not be through academics. It may be through sport, drama, art or music etc. When a child realises that they have strengths and that they are encouraged to develop them, a whole new world of hope and possibilities expands on their horizon.  Their self-confidence escalates and the world is their oyster.

Consider:

• Be open to your child’s potential no matter how different this may be from your own ambitions. Accept and celebrate their differences. The best comes out when they feel liberated to be themselves.

• Invite conversations around what they enjoy and what sparks their interests. Try not to direct their interests, but be guided by what they tell you. Listen with interest and not condemnation.

• Remember to affirm their passions and encourage their interests, as they are often stimulated by their developing potential.

• A child is a work in progress and over time their passions, interests and strengths will align if allowed to grow. This will lead to them reaching their potential over time. 

• Be the instrument that allows them to develop their potential by affirming, reassuring, allowing trial and error and above all seeing every attempt as success, not failure.

• Keep in mind that your child’s potential is unique to them. Sometimes we get confused when we see considerable difference in our children.  We can feel more reassured when they seem more like us. Their journey and potentiality are all about them. Best we celebrate the unique differences we see, rather than bemoan the lack of similarity in our children.

A child’s potential is such a wonderful part of their development. Your role is simply to open the doors and windows, to let in fresh possibilities for them to experience their potential.  You are building a strong foundation enabling your child to embrace what is their right, to reach their full potential.

“Free the child’s potential and you will transform them into the world.”

— Maria Montessori

Is your child actively engaged in the classroom?

I can remember for years watching eager parents look through the school windows to observe how their children were performing in class. It’s natural to be interested in how your child operates and learns in a classroom. After all, they are dealing with peers in a slightly challenging way.  What we need to understand is that all children will respond differently in a classroom setting. Some are talkers and hand wavers for every question. Some just ask questions to be noticed. We call them attention seekers. Others will sit back quietly and observe the others. Some children will disengage quickly and learn to shut down. Often first children in my experience are more cautious, while the second child, more boisterous and interested in engagement with the class and teacher. And so, the variance in the classroom goes on. The question is do some children interfere in the learning of others or are less noisy and engaging children missing out?

The answer is simple. It all comes down to the awareness and skill of the teacher. They understand how their children learn and recognise how each child reacts to them in the classroom. It was common professional talk amongst staff about how to deal with the shifting dynamic of children in their room.

There is no research that I am aware of, that suggests which child will learn the most effectively in a classroom. Different personalities are the order of the day. Teachers will work their class to suit the individual needs of the child. They recognise that some children will need encouragement and guidance in communicating their needs to the teacher. Others need guidance in learning how to control their questioning out loud, so that everyone gets a fair share. I believe that being a quiet or loud child in the classroom does not necessarily mean that they will learn better. Children process and learn in different ways. Also, their relationship with the teacher will have an impact on their confidence in expressing themselves.

Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom.

I suggest:

• Talk to your teacher about how your child responds in class.

• Ask the teacher are there any encouragements I can give them to operate more effectively. Is their style of learning effective?

• Notice how your child operates in the family. Are they quiet, do they listen well or are they the loud and dominant one? I do believe that the order of the child in the family does have an impact on how they respond in a classroom.  You certainly see this in your own family.

• Accept that all children will learn differently and your child, over time, will develop their own style of learning. If there are concerns the teacher will inform you.

• Allow your child to be themselves. There is some truth I believe in …. what you see is what you get. A louder more vocal child enjoys having a strong presence. Quieter children learn from observing others and reflecting on how they will respond.

• The only concern worth noting is when a child perhaps through shyness or lack of confidence is not questioning enough and is not exploring their learning. This needs a chat to the teacher as we know that developing an inquiring mind is how children learn. We do not want them shutting down disengaging from learning. If they close down this can become a habit that is hard to break. When you hear from your child, “I am bored’, beware! This is a sign that their learning is under threat.

Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom. It keeps developing as the child gets older. It is often affected by their success in the learning process and of course positive reinforcement by the teacher.

After building a strong relationship with children, the teacher monitors their responses to learning situations. They weave their way carefully around all children, respecting and enriching their learning style, monitoring children’s response to their teaching and planting seeds where necessary.

“Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire.”

— WB Yeats

What are we teaching our children?

There is so much we are teaching our children, this is obvious. What we need to occasionally to reflect on is, the incidental things that occur that are noticed and internalised by our children. Keep in mind that we are all part of the great human condition and by this definition, we are not perfect! However, our children are very clever in picking up the incidentals and shifting moods in our behaviour. These are incidents and occasions where we may let our guard down. For some reason, our children are curious creatures when they see how imperfect we are.

I remember, as the school principal, there was a consistent way of operating and the values exposed were to be consistently displayed. Sometimes life is complicated and principals get compromised. Teachers are excellent at building strong, stable authentic relationships with their children, which generally involves a child excusing them when they slip up on occasions. In my experience, it was common for children who had strong relationships with their teachers, to be quite protective of their failures and misadventures.

As a parent, do our children notice our misdemeanours and are they watching to learn all the incidental behaviours they notice in us? The answer I fear is probably yes. They are always checking into see our legitimacy and how this affects them. Certainly, in working with children, it was clear they understood their parents very well.

Consider the following thoughts to help us live with this subtle pressure from our children:

What incidental things that occur are noticed and internalised by our children?

• Accept and acknowledge with your child that you are not perfect. In fact, what is ‘perfect’?

• Be natural in apologising when you think it necessary. Children really appreciate that you understand that you make mistakes just like them.

• Be relaxed in talking to them and when putting down important rules etc. in the home, acknowledge that you just try your best at all times.

• Talk about how you can sometimes get tired and let your guard down. This is natural and normal.

• Have a laugh with your child when you find yourself not living up to your expectations. This is about showing your human side. We all make mistakes.

• Be aware that small ears listen and love to learn more about you in discreet ways. This may mean compromising some feelings at time to give the right message to your child.

• Watch the language you use around the child especially when talking about others. Much is revealed to a child when we express our opinions about others.

A child loves the parent who is easy to read and comfortable in how they express themselves. They enjoy the journey of learning more about their parents often through different unexpected experiences. This is often the test of being true to ourselves.

“A sensitive child sees the world through the lens of the child.”

—   Unique Teaching Resources

Giving sport a high profile

I hear the debate is raging yet again about providing adequate sport in schools for children. Now I understand it is also about the schools offering defined skills in sport and giving children a real taste of engagement and a sense of feeling active through physical activity.

I understand that schools need to provide sport across the week. It offers children so much on so many physical and social levels. Some years ago, it was mandated by the government, the amount of time that must be given to sport across the week in schools. I can certainly see the reason and respect the concepts behind all of this. However, let’s be realistic. How much can teachers offer to children, given the heightened expectations that are already placed on them. Some teachers have a natural disposition to teach sport, are passionate about it and can teach very specific skills. Not all teachers have that skill and will work to the best of their ability to provide physical exercise and sporting activities but it is not their strength.

If we want to engage our children in sport, I think parents should engage their children in a sports activity that will offer them very specific skills in one area. The argument that rages at the moment is all about getting children involved, interested and passionate about being fitter and enjoying sport as a way of life. This is where parents should take responsibility and as a family engage in sport as a way of life. For example, join a football club, tennis club, swimming team etc. Find the sport that draws your child into it with enthusiasm and a developing drive to improve their performance.

Fabulous benefits of out of school sports

By engaging in organised out of school sport your child will:

• Learn about the value of teams and how they influence the individual.

• Understand how to improve their performance. They will come to recognise in themselves improvement through effort.

• Value healthy competition. Supporting other team members is also a great skill in human compassion and empathy.

• Understand cooperation and teamship.

• Value the importance of being fit.

The list goes on and yes teachers will do their best in the limited time they have to raise the profile of sport for children. However, it will not be the same as children taking part in an organised and well-managed team sport. They will be mixing with like-minded children and enjoy their parent’s involvement. The conversations at home are enriched as you talk about the sporting experiences and joy of the challenge.

 Of course, I caution that parents should research the sporting club and be satisfied that the values are what you want for your child. Once you join the club, you the parents will so gain from meeting like-minded parents.

Sport outside school is also about long term commitment. It requires regular attendance and loyalty to the sporting activities and events. It reduces a child’s downtime at home, which can often lead to reduced hours in front of a screen and it requires good family planning across the week.

Children initially will often vacillate about what sport they wish to join and there is some perseverance needed from parents here. However, keep the longer-term goal in mind. This is about your child actively involved in a sport that builds fitness, raises their awareness and joy of physical fitness and engages them for the long haul in physical sport.

Having a developed appreciation of the value of sport only comes from personal engagement and the joy of feeling well physically.   

“The more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.”

— Pele

What’s in a test?

This is that time of the year when testing is prevalent, teachers are writing reports and schools are preparing for their parent teacher interviews. There is much talk and a buzz around this busy time of the scholastic year.

Assessment, assessment assessment.

There is no failure in the process of school assessment. Success is in moving forward.

Who needs assessment? Do we have an immediate sense of failure when we think about assessment? Perhaps it has associations with negative experiences for ourselves. Teachers rely on their regular testing regime as it is the key tool to help them plan their teaching. If they know where the child is at in their learning they can skilfully teach with accuracy. No question about it! This is a highly effective way to teach. Generally, children grow used to the weekly tests in class and the teacher puts the right emphasis on them. In fact children see it as part of their normal routine. Testing is all about where to go next in the learning. However, at this stage of the year it can be slightly overwhelming as parent teacher interviews loom high in the mind of the child and the school.

Consider that this is a positive time to learn about all the wonderful learning that has taken place over the year. It is time to celebrate the hard work the child has contributed to in terms one and two. It is also about learning where the child needs to go with learning in terms three and beyond. Call this learning, growth curves.

The interviews are not a check up time to determine failure nor is it a time to pick through issues that have occurred lately. Also, when the parent teacher is complete, celebrate with your child and talk about the amazing new concepts that you learnt about your child.

 Here are a few thoughts around this focussed time of the school year:

• Be positive about the school. Talk about how you look forward to chatting to your teacher about all the wonderful school experiences.

• Talk about how you felt when you had reports sent home. It is valuable that the child understands that we have all gone through this process.

• Remind your child that you see reporting as a positive tool to tap into all the great work you are doing at school.

• Before the parent teacher interview discuss areas that you want to talk about. Let there be no surprises at the interviews. Also are their discussions that your child wants to have with you before the interview?  Both parent and child should have clarity about what will happen at the interview.

• Remind your child that you and the teacher are very much on their side, that is the side of learning.

• If you have some form of evaluation at work talk about how that happens and how you handle it.

Finally, education is a life long journey. Stopping and taking stock of where the child is at, is an important time for reflection on where to go next. There is no failure in this process only success in moving forward.

“The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, ‘the children are now working as if I did not exist.’”

— Maria Montessori

Nine things to think about regarding school

Enjoy a partnership with your Child’s school.

1. We are well into term two. Your child should feel settled, familiar with the class and working comfortably and steadily with the teacher. Trust between the child and the teacher should be well established by now.

2. Homework routines should be just that, routines. Teachers should only be providing homework for your child that is within reason. Check the time your child is doing homework as the later times of the day make for a difficult task.

3. Check in with the tiredness of your child. The weather is closing in, days are cold and children can be less motivated.  Try to keep up the momentum and throw in a few treats along the way.

4. Is your child well established with friendship groups? This is all about feeling capable with peers. It does not mean that everyone should have a special friend. In fact, the more inclusive the better. If your child is unsettled in this area have a chat with your teacher. Relationships with peers is important for their mental wellbeing and social growth.

5. Teachers will be writing reports and soon there will be the parent teacher chats. Talk to your child about how they are going with midyear work. Don’t let the parent teacher chat be the first time you have talked to your child about their school work. This should be an ongoing interest. The parent teacher chat should not come as a surprise to you. It should be a time of hearing reassuring words from the teacher and coming away with an understanding of where the child needs to go next in their learning.

6. Have you changed anything important in the family that the school needs to know? Often addresses, phone numbers etc. can change and the school needs current information especially with regard to emergency numbers.

7. The school is a very stable hub for your child throughout the year. Keep it in mind if you need support. Chat to the principal if you have queries or need to learn more. It is amazing what you will learn from a chat.

8. If you are the one who picks up your child after school, I advise being on time. At this stage of the year children can get tired and need reassurance. This is especially the case with the younger ones. Being on time is reassuring to them. This also applies to being on time in the morning. Children can become quite unsettled if walking into a classroom late.

9. Watch the balance between afterschool activities and the pressure of school. Check in with your child about this as sometimes afterschool activities can just tip them over the edge.

Oh, what a difference a school makes!

‘The mind once enlightened cannot become dark.’

-Thomas Paine 

Help your child develop their creative side

It is such a joy watching our children spring into creative moments. These can often be spontaneous and can take on many forms. As a parent, we should support their creative side as it can be stifled so easily with practicality, logic, do the right thing, be reasonable, etc. There is no shortage of sensible reasons why creativity can be stifled.

Of course, everything within reason but children are naturally curious and creative. They love to explore and dream. They are not inhibited to begin with and grow to being free and expressive in their minds and bodies if allowed.

Perhaps you are a creative person? If you are more inclined to demonstrate self-discipline, put things in order, monitor time etc. you may find at times their creative behaviour off putting. This article is to invite you to lighten up in this area. Allow your children to just be and to enjoy the moment.

Here are some reasons why creativity, given plenty of scope enlivens and strengthens the wellbeing and mental health of the child and stimulates amazing learning.

Our child’s spontaneous creativity enlivens and enlightens our adulthood.

• Being creative gives the child the right to express themselves. Great authors, painters etc. needed creative time to explore and develop their talents.

• Children will make mistakes and this is part of experimentation in being creative. Without error, a child cannot grow and learn in new directions. A child who is celebrated at home for their creativity, feel free to keep exploring. They love the fact that you acknowledge and affirm their creative spirit. This spurs them on.

• If a child is stunted with their creativity, they can become quite unhappy and mental health issues can creep into their life. It is not natural for a child to be uncreative.

• When children play, they are actually being creative. Encourage it and join in the experience. It will make for better family time.

• Never tell a child that their creativity is not satisfactory. There is no assessment or value placed on being creative. By nature, it is free and can develop in any direction. No surprises that teachers are always looking to strengthen the child’s creative disposition. They know that from such a journey comes insightfulness and real learning.

• Think about the people you admire. Is creativity part of their world? Often creative people are very expressive and not inhibited by controlled thinking. Don’t be put off by people that seem to see life from different angles. Even your own child may be seeing life from a different lens than your own.

• Often, we say, think outside the square. In today’s workforce people who think differently offer a great deal to companies who are not seeking more of the same.  The workforce seeks and demands creative employees who can look at problems in different ways.

• If a child is encouraged to see the world from practical eyes and not to value creativity their world will shrink and only predictability and reliability will be valued.

• A child by nature of being a child sees the world creatively. They are generally not inhibited by nature which gives them the optimum chance to see the world from many angles and to create new dimensions in that world.

 We can learn from our child’s spontaneous creativity and this enlivens and enlightens our adulthood which can be driven by order and control. In simple terms it allows us to lighten up!

“Those who do not think outside the box are easily contained.”

— Nicola Manetta

Getting back to routine after lockdown

Tricky times requires creative thinking and for our children going back to school is a relief as well as creating some anxiety about yet again fitting in to school. There is no doubt the times are challenging and our children will look back on this period with some trepidation and for them, it is a new norm.

This article is a simple one. It is all about helping your child be comfortable and adjust to the “not so routine” of life and school. They are living with the ever-threatening idea of yet another lockdown and this must cause some trepidation as they attempt to go back to school and fit into the school plan.

 Consider the following thoughts.

• Be flexible. Everything is changing including the teacher’s expectations with the children. Accept that difference is part of the new norm.

• The permanency for your child is the stability of the family. Your constant presence in their life is a powerful support for them in today’s climate. Try to ensure that routines, schedules etc. are in place again. This creates some safe reassurance for the child.

• Check in with your child’s social life. Are they happily engaging with their friends or are they somewhat reticent to reignite friendships? Chat to your child’s teacher if this is a problem. Children can easily feel unsettled with friends after such intermittent breaks from school.

• Ensure your child has a balanced amount of sleep and recreation across the week. They certainly need to set up a balance that will be consistent across the week and feel reassured that the routine will be part of their norm.

• School holidays will soon be starting. Given the isolated, online work they have just had, start planning this time with your child. This should be a productive time and one that gives your child joy, physical opportunities, some adventure and quiet time.

• Keep the conversation flowing with regard to all the progress being made with vaccines etc. Our children need to understand the times they are living through. Their understanding may carry with it some anxiety but it should be filled with accurate knowledge on the management of the virus. Of course, the information to be given must be age-appropriate.

Finally, children thrive on being happy and having a sense of hope and optimism in their world. For this to be achievable they rely on you, the parent. Keeping the focus for the future on a positive note is such an important part of the parent’s work in today’s climate where unpredictability thrives and their foundational years can be shaken. You are the rock upon which the foundation is built.

“It’s not simply the learning..
It’s the stability. Stability is essential in the lives of children.”

—   Pedro Noguera

8 quick tips to keep the mood positive in these tricky times

With the lockdown yet again comes some very low, unsettling feelings for some families. Here are some quick tips to keep a positive momentum happening at home in the long days.

• Be positive. Talk to your child about the life-saving measures of lockdown including the fact that our government is putting our safety ahead of all other matters. This is an important part of a humane society. Try to keep the political discussion out of it.

• Talk about the amazing speed of vaccine development. It has happened so quickly and very skilled scientists are working around the clock to improve our health and to find solutions quickly.

• Talk about contact tracing and how measures are put in place to locate people exposed to the virus. The organisation in this exercise is immense.

• Keep the work online in proportion to the day’s events. Too much online school activities can make for being alone and unhappy. It is hard to feel successful while working online with school activities.  Build in sport or some other recreation and spontaneous laughter during the day. After all, this is a quality time to be with the family, where there is the least interference.

• Give your child updated information, age-appropriate of course. With all the negative and unsettling news, children need the truth about the state of the coronavirus outbreak.

• Keep them away from unsettling newspapers that focus on dramatic headlines that are questionable in truth. This is not a time for whipping up more anxiety.

• Build a few happy, surprise treats into the day. A little bit of extra sugar won’t hurt but can lift the spirits across the days. We are in unique times and we just need to be creative in the way we engage with our family. We need to be more flexible and use our initiative to break the tension that builds.

• Whilst I am always arguing about monitoring the use of technology in the hands of children, now is an important time for them to be in touch with their friends. Talking to friendship groups is comforting and reassuring for children.

Finally, keep in mind that your children will look back on these extreme times and appreciate how you managed their journey through the pandemic and most especially, the lockdowns etc. Being present for them, conscious to keep a happy momentum, informing accurately and capitalising on quality time together is the answer to managing these difficult times.

“Laughter is a tranquiller with no side effects.”

— Author unknown

So, what’s in a school?

This is certainly is a challenging question. I would be the first to say dig deep and you will find many opportunities for developing yourself and growing familiar with your child’s school. Being around a school is a vibrant and lively feeling. These school years with your child are precious and will not return once complete. Therefore, embrace them.

My recommendation is for you to research what the school offers and how you can tap into its life or perhaps add to its life.

The following are considerations about what’s in a school:

How involved are you able to be at your child’s school?

• Explore the library and learn from the librarian what and how you can access books for the family. Often school libraries have specific sections for parents and they often hold a wonderful feelings section to support children going through emotional issues. Also, if you have time, you could always help in the library. There is so much to learn about books in this environment.

• Does your school offer parenting nights? Schools often look to supporting family education. This can be through a one-night session or a series of nights.

• Read the school newsletter regularly to get all the updates in the life of the school. This certainly gives you a broad picture of what is happening across the school.

• In my time as Principal, many parents in midlife looking for a career change, assisted in classrooms and took up the teacher aid course. Teaching is a great career to take up after having had other work and life experiences.

• Simply helping in the classroom gives you a chance to learn about how reading, writing etc., is taught. You can pick up great teaching strategies from just being around teachers. It is also fascinating to watch how teachers manage and relate to the children with such control.

• If you enjoy sports, often being involved in the sports programs at the school is a wonderful way to commit to a valuable part of the curriculum.

• Schoolyards are great places to build friendships with other families. Many lifelong friends have been made from meeting families in the school setting.

• When the school offers social days such as Book Week, where there are dress-ups, consider joining in and sharing in the fun with your child.

• Do you have special talents that you can offer the school? For example, can you paint, teach cooking or crafts? Schools love to hear from talented parents who contribute their skills to teaching children.

• Check-in with your child’s teacher to see if they need assistance. Your presence in your child’s classroom is a buzz for your child.

These thoughts are to explore and invite you into the life of the school. Your child benefits from your engagement and school become a natural extension to their home life.

“Behind the child that makes the most progress is an actively involved parent.”

— love quotes

Another lockdown and more home schooling. How important is it?

Let’s take some pressure off ourselves and look at this lockdown week. Schools are busy writing reports, and summating work etc. Their focus is very much on these midyear reports for which teachers are so accountable. Given their work overload, I would be surprised if work set online would have high expectations as the teachers have limited time to plan for these online activities.

This week I would be encouraging the children to fulfil the teacher’s requirements, but also concentrate more on keeping up the reading and working on progressive projects etc.

This is also a week for once again capitalising on time together. In the early days of winter just get outside, bike ride, walk, jog, play games etc; that will take the focus of yet another lockdown away from everyone’s minds.

 We certainly can get caught up with negative rhetoric that is around but by focussing on some positive experiences together as a family especially engaging in happy physical activities, the time will slip away.

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

Consider:

There are some important conversations worth having with children as we enter a time of more anxiety around the pandemic.

• Keeping up to date with the current situation. Discuss this with your child and make the conversation age-appropriate. Keep the information simple to grasp and invite your child to ask questions that may be troubling them.

• Many newspapers present very distressing news items. It seems they are all about the blame game and sadly remind us of the worst of the situation. Be careful about what printed material is in front of children. Disturbing headings can build anxiety. Keep to the facts. Control the accurate facts around the children.

• Talk about the incredible and speedy breakthroughs we are having with vaccines. This is a wonderful conversation about how science is such a gift to humanity. It is also showing the amazing ingenuity of the human race. This is a great time to learn about other scientists and their amazing breakthroughs in science.

• Keep an eye out for the information sent home from school. The staff are struggling through these difficult times and will want to offer the best to their children. Do not compare how different schools are responding to the lockdown. All school environments have their own approach to working through issues and especially now they need your support and reassurance.

• Keep in mind that we are living through very different times and our societal responses to the changing virus are never planned in and for the long term. It is all about short term responses to changing virus conditions.

We are teaching our children to be resilient and tolerant of change that will help everyone. This is a new phenomenon and it is all about empathy and the Common Good. This is a great time to talk about the importance of the Common Good. This is a big challenge for those that focus on the Me generation.

“Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much.”

— Helen Keller

A few thoughts on school in the month of May

Hopefully, a routine is now well underway. Children should be very familiar with their teacher and class. Homework processes should be well established and weekly patterns with sport afterschool etc. well entrenched in the family’s life.

There are always changes and challenges in a classroom, not the least of which is the social exchanges that happen between children. This is worth checking in on from time to time. Talk to your child and when in doubt the teacher will have the wisdom and knowledge to know about any incident.

Here are some thoughts to keep the school and home life churning away comfortably in partnership:

• Frequently talk to your child about the progress of school. Tuning into school discussion is a way of showing ongoing interest even in the ordinary times.

• Keep an eye on homework patterns and remember if the homework is a struggle talk to the teacher, do not resolve it at home. There are many theories about the value or not of homework. It certainly should not be causing family disruption when the child isn’t coping. It is not the role of the parent to take over homework. The ownership belongs to the school.

• Attend school information nights or class visits when invited. It is so important to keep up the momentum with your child, that school is important and the information they give out is valuable. Your presence at the school means so much to your child.

• Keep an eye on the sleep your child gets during school weeks. As the term progresses, winter creeps in, children can be prone to sickness and fatigue.

• Is your child coping with the amount of afterschool activities? This should be looked at in light of their capacity in coping with school, homework etc. More activities do not make for a richer experience. It is all about finding the right balance.

• Talk about your child’s friends. Be interested in them. It is most important to a child that their friendships are valued by the family. They rely so much on them for social and emotional support. Your approval adds to their sense of satisfaction.

• Read the school newsletter around the family. This is an excellent way to keep in touch and discuss with your child the various aspects of the life of the school.

• Use your fridge as a way of talking about school. Put notices on the fridge, refer to them often.

• Younger students, especially those in the foundation years get school fatigue after a few weeks at school during the term. Keep an eye on this and certainly, keep them home if they need a small break. Best that they are at school happy and learning rather than developing a sense of sadness and tiredness.  Of course, negotiation with your teacher is most important here.

During the school term, it is important to ensure that the life of the school which is such a focus for your child is given high priority in the family.  It should not be competing with family demands. This is comforting to your child when they feel that what happens in the day does not stay in the day, it can be discussed happily at night. We want our children to sense a strong interconnection between school and home. They need to see that the learning and life experiences they gain at school which are wide and variable have a real place in the life of the family.

“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.”

— Jane D Hull

The value of teaching about choice

Our children should learn that making choices is a very powerful tool in making sound informed decisions in life. Of course, we can make choices that do not give the outcome we expect and can of course lead to failure. However, making such a choice is also a valuable learnt experience.

Making choices begins to define our character. It aligns us in certain directions and it can be a turning point on many directions. Our children make choices all the time. The key point here is to teach them that making choices is a powerful statement to others of who they are and what they value. We also learn to own our choices and to understand that what we choose should be seen proactively.

Here are some thoughts on helping children understand that choices influence and direct their world:

• Talk about some choices you may have made over the years. Some were very successful and perhaps others required a rethink and reset.

• Teach your child that making a choice is a privilege. We can make decisions but they will be owned and lived through by yourself.

• When discussing optional matters that can be chosen remind them that the choice they make should be one from which they grow and learn. It should be a proactive and mature choice that leads to a healthy outcome. They must own the outcome and not regret it but move forward no matter what. There is no blame when you choose to make a choice.

Classrooms have many occasions when children make choices. This is especially the case when working on projects. Teachers encourage them to think through their choice such that they will gain the knowledge and learning they want from the exercise. Here teachers are encouraging them to think through the choices they make.

Parents should plan to set up a working relationship with their children which does give them many occasions to make choices. The more you can encourage this, the quicker they develop independent thinking and begin to be selective in their planning. As a parent delaying their ability to make choices delays their interest in self-management. We want our children to have the confidence to make choices fully aware of their actions and aware that they own the outcome.

Slow and steady support in this area will give our children the confidence to be independent thinkers, enlightened and well-rounded individuals.

‘The fact is that kids learn to make good decisions, by making decisions, not by following directions.’

                      -Alfie Kohn

“The fact is that kids learn to make good decisions, by making decisions, not by following directions.”

— Alfie Kohn

Being learner is a lifelong exercise

Do you enjoy being exposed to new information? Do you show your child all the new things you have learnt over the day? Are you excited about new information that comes your way?

The more we show our children that learning is ongoing and that it is a life long journey, the more they will engage with new experiences, be less fearful of new concepts and be driven to learn.

The good news about living in a technologically driven world is that children are exposed to new information constantly and whilst this comes with its own set of problems, we cannot bemoan the fact that they can access so much information in a heartbeat. The trick here is to establish how useful the information is to their learning. This is all about learning to be discerning with information.

This blog is simply about encouraging your child to see learning as a wonderful life-giving experience. It is not just a five hour a day, classroom experience.

This article is also about encouraging your child to read books, magazines, use internet to gather information etc. There are many sources of learning that involve listening, as well as reading. Developing an insatiable appetite for learning is what it is all about.

If you, the parent demonstrate that you are a learner and enjoy the experience of gathering and reflecting on new information, this will impact on your child’s perception of what learning is all about.

Learning is more than 5 hours in the classroom

 Consider what you teach your child:

• Is your home scattered with books, sources of information and is it an environment where conversation and debate are present and encouraged?

• Children begin to see learning as a mental habit, something done regularly so that knowledge is built upon. Once starved of new information, the child feels vulnerable.

• They grow to look forward to learning new concepts. They see it as a natural process to simply keep learning.

• Your child once hungry for knowledge has become a lifelong learner. They see and crave new knowledge.  They come to appreciate that knowledge is power.

• You teach them that having an inquiring mind exposes you to so much learning. You are the mentor in developing their thirst for learning.

• Your constant inquiry, asking questions, probing ideas etc. will demonstrate to your child that being inquisitive is healthy. You encourage its presence in your children.

Children who love gaining knowledge feel strengthened by the experience and are not easily disengaged. The knowledge they gain builds mental stamina and gives them credibility amongst peers. Their emotional intelligence is accelerated as they feel more in touch with mentally being in control.

“Once you stop learning, you start dying.”

— Albert Einstein