How to deal with trauma such as the recent school shooting in the USA.         

We are confronted by what recently happened in Texas with the mass killing of young children in a school. It is almost impossible to get our heads around this atrocity and as parents, we shudder with the reminder that a parent’s grief for their lost child would be immeasurable. Here's some pointers for parents to help your children understand tragedies like this.

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A child needs to grow a strong belief in themselves

Our children need to be steadily building a strong belief in themselves. They will put themselves forward and receive some knockdowns but climbing the ladder of being strongly connected to the world will come with mounting strong self-belief.

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Being credible is such an important part in parenting

By nature of being a parent you are invited to present such fine qualities as credibility and trust to your child. Never underestimate that such an opportunity is also all about developing yourself as a fully rounded, emotionally intelligent person. Like it or not parenting forces us to grow up!

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Teach our children to be courteous

There is a silent, steady power present in being courteous. You are stronger by nature of your courteous style. By treating someone with dignity no matter how different your thoughts are, there is little with which to argue. After all, they see how you accept them as legitimate. You accept their right to have a voice, which gives you a voice.

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The value you have to your child

We appreciate that we are important and that we hold great responsibility and balance of power in taking care of our child. I wonder how often we think about the value we give to our child.

Dr Seuss said “To the world you may be one person; but to one person you may be the world.”

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Being a mum - something to think about

I have learnt some precious realities in watching mums raise a family, live with it and through it, suffer all the hardships, carry the weak moments and rise above the troubled spots. Now that’s being a mum!

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What will your child remember about you?

What do our children really think about us? Are they aware of all our efforts? Do they remember the little details and the extra efforts we make over the years? What is their level of appreciation of us the parents?

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Give your child occasions to make choices

Children need occasions to make choices and grow to understand that in making choices we live with the consequences. Decision making can be taught as much as learnt on the run. For our children, teaching them that making their own decisions comes with the joy of owning the outcome and also learning from the outcome.

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Let’s teach our children to enjoy what they have and not seek out more

No easy task for parents who want to teach their children how to enjoy what they have rather than seeking out the next improved item. Read here for some examples of how to teach children to value what they have.

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A laugh a day can keep the blues at bay.

In all my time as a teacher and Principal, I always felt that classrooms filled with humour were happier and more enlivened spaces in which children could work and learn. ‘ Always find a reason to laugh. It may not add years to your life but will surely add life to your years.’ Anon.

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Managing children’s behaviour.

The household should have clear rules and be a place where the child can see you, the parent, living by the standards you set for them. Here are some tips to help manage children’s behaviour at home.

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Keeping track of the media for children

There is so much news at the moment about the distressing situation in Ukraine, the ongoing battle with Covid and other local issues. The recent floods were very disturbing in Australia. It doesn’t take long for children to pick up that there is much anxiety and stress in our world.

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The importance of getting support when needed

As parents, we simply don’t have all the answers. Just when we think we are on top of matters, our child surprises us with new challenges. It is mentally healthy to recognise that seeking help is an excellent response when needed.

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Differences in families

‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’ -Audre Lorde

There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.

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When home life changes

Family situations change through separation and divorce and children will feel this. The key point is to provide ongoing love, understanding, reassurance and stability in difficult times. Try to remember that whilst you are going through a personal crisis, there is no avoiding that your child will be experiencing emotionally charged times. Accept that you will need support and so to your child. Rely on family support and networks that will minimise some of the impacts.

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